Posted by sean on December 3, 2006 at 9:16 pm in Bath City, Leeds United, Life In Bath, Movies, Ventures Outside Of Bath with No Comments


Yesterday was rather eventful. At midday I listened to Leeds United play Barnsley. The Whites only managing a disappointing draw, mainly thanks to the idiotic linesman who disallowed a perfectly good goal. Twat.

After lunch, I walked down to Twerton Park to watch Bath City take on Halesowen Town. Bath did somewhat better than Leeds and won 3-0, maintaining their lead at the top of the table. As the afternoon drew to a close and darkness fell, the temperature dropped. I stood pitch side, shivering in the cold with only a cup of coffee to keep me warm. That’s dedication for you.

In the evening I went to The Globe pub with Mr. Watkins. I had my traditional dish of choice, Hunters Chicken. Upon receiving my meal, I noticed that it wasn’t the Hunters Chicken of previous years which I had grown to know and love. It was presented in a far more stylish manner; maybe their chef had been reading “Food Presentation for Dummies”.

At the end of the day however, it didn’t matter how the food was presented, what was most important was the taste. I’m pleased to report that it was delicious. A year ago, I would have thought it impossible to improve upon such a divine dish but somehow, somebody did it. The latest Hunters Chicken offering is just delectable.

Once we had eaten, we left for the cinema. It was mutually decided that we watch Tenacious D (starring Jack Black). As the Odeon in Bath was fully booked, we drove to Vue in Bristol.

Like the Hunters Chicken earlier that evening, the film was more than adequate and well worth the admittance fee. Jack Black and his co-star Kyle Gass were both very, very funny, if not a little bizarre. Still, I have always enjoyed quirky and eccentric humour – I don’t know what that says about my mental state.

My trip to the cinema was improved by the fact I was allowed to fill my own Ice Blast cup. Unfortunately there were no free refills and I had to use the cup provided, and not the 5 pint goblet I happened to be carrying at the time.

Posted by sean on December 1, 2006 at 8:44 pm in Christmas, Fun At Home, Leeds United with No Comments


This evening was the turning on of my 2006 Christmas Lights. I did my best to find a high status celebrity to push the switch and illuminate my room like Blackpool Tower, but was rather unsuccessful…

Bono was on tour in Japan. David Beckham wanted to come, but Real Madrid would not allow him to leave Spain. Madonna did ask to do it, but I turned her down – I may need a celeb, but I’m not desperate!

In the end, I managed to persuade Daniel Craig to make the journey from London to Bath and do the honours. Don’t the decorations look amazing?

Posted by sean on December 1, 2006 at 8:13 am in Funny Things with No Comments


A funny excerpt from the latest issue of Computer Weekly:

Everyone knows that computers can be fragile, but some users still treat them as though they were indestructible. Hard disk recovery firm Ontrack has compiled its top five stories of data loss in 2006.

Fifth place belongs to a user who left a banana to rot on top of his external hard drive. The rotten mush seeped through the casing, where it wrecked the circuitry, preventing the drive from running. The circuit board was repaired sufficiently to enable the drive’s data to be recovered.

In number four is that perennial favourite, the people carrier. Someone left a laptop in the path of a moving one earlier this year. Similar examples include a rucksack full of hard drives that was backed over by a truck.

Third place goes to a manufacturer of expensive underwater digital cameras. Unfortunately for one unhappy customer who took the camera on a snorkelling holiday to Barbados, the camera was far from waterproof.

Proving the cliché that academics have brains, but no common sense, is a university professor who head a squeaking noise coming from the drive of his new PC. The nutty professor removed the casing and sprayed the drive with WD-40, thus stopping both the squeaking noise and the drive itself.

But the award for 2006’s most unnecessary assault on a disc drive goes to a user who sent his damaged hard drive to Ontrack wrapped in a pair of dirty socks. The original problem was unremarkable; the damage caused by the combination of sweat and fibres was not.

Finally, something I was e-mailed. If your IT Department is throwing a Christmas party this month, I hope it’s as fun and crazy as this one

Posted by sean on November 30, 2006 at 10:48 pm in Life In Bath, Shopping with No Comments


I received a disturbing text message this afternoon. Dan was rather displeased about the infrequency of my blogging, so sent me threats of violence via SMS. I was shocked and had to sit down as I was so perturbed.

I could have done one of three things. Firstly, ignore his threats of violence and hope he doesn’t come after me with a machete. Secondly, contact my KGB buddy, Valentin Zukovsky, and ask that he “takes care of Dan” with some poison. Or, simply take the easy solution and just write a blog.

I chose the third option…

This evening, I went to Sainsbury’s to do a bit of shopping. After money had changed hands, I headed for the exit, wheeling my shopping trolley past fellow customers, all of whom pissed me off, simply by getting in my way.

While racing down the side of the shop, I notice something quite bizarre – a box full of cat food, kitty litter and animal toys. This box had been placed in store to encourage animal-loving customers to buy presents for unwanted felines.

I’m sure that Mr. Jay Sainsbury was more than happy to place such a container in his shop, after all every time a customer makes a donation, Jay makes a nice profit. Why anybody would want to buy a treat for some mangy cat that they will never see and will probably be put to sleep by New Year, is a mystery to me.

I suppose there was no chance of a box being made available where customers could donate food, which would be sent to the third world? Maybe Jay could donate something himself? The whole thing reminded me of a sketch by David Mitchell and Robert Webb.

I did ask a spokesman for Sainsbury’s about the matter. He would like to remain anonymous, so I’ll just call him S. Goater, no that’s too obvious, Simon G…

Simon G. said that his company are planning to help other charities in the future, including “Free the Mad Bears”. After my encounter with a cashier on Checkout #8 this evening, I think the mad bears have already been set free, and are working in the shop!

In case you were wondering what was purchased in Sainsbury’s, it wasn’t just groceries. All will be revealed in Fridays blog…

Posted by sean on November 26, 2006 at 9:56 am in Leeds United with 1 Comment


Here is a collection of photos from my visit to Plymouth yesterday.


As you can see, Plymouth is shit.


I liked this ship outside the casino. A drunken sailor must have gambled it and lost.


The term “tin hut” comes to mind.


Leeds captain Kevin Nicholls and striker Jermaine Beckford begged that I have my photo taken with them.


Oooh and that’s a bad miss!


Those crazy home fans


They predict a riot


The child snatching mascot flees when confronted by the police.


Don’t let them score, Leeds!


You had better score, Leeds


Full time. Leeds win. I’m happy.


Now let’s get out of this urine soaked hell-hole!

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