Posted by sean on June 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm in Shopping with No Comments


I had an argument with a woman yesterday. She was nagging me while I was doing the shopping and generally being an uncooperative pain in the arse. I wanted to punch her. Did I mention this woman wasn’t a real woman? She was a fake woman living inside the Sainsbury’s self service checkout.

After finishing a “big shop” I scanned all my items. The total came to about £28. Problem was, I had a voucher entitling me to £3 off if I spent £30. I sent Simon, off to find a bottle of Sheppy’s cider which would bring the total to £30. During this time, the bitch inside the machine started complaining that I was taking too long with my shopping “Would you like to continue?”, she asked in the most patronising of tones.

To make matters worse, despite adding a bottle of cider to the order, due to various discounted items contained within my shop, the total was still below the required £30. Cue a dash to the sweet aisle to get a bar of overpriced chocolate. While doing so, the computerised cow continued to moan “I haven’t got all night, you know. I need to get home”. At which point I smashed the monitor. I hadn’t even been drinking Stella.

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