Posted by sean on August 5, 2013 at 9:43 pm in Animals, Life In Bath with No Comments


On my walk to work this morning, I noticed the rather unpleasant sight of a dead squirrel on the side of the road. Its head had been crushed into the pavement, while one side of its body had burst open, leaving the lungs, liver and various other bodily organs exposed. A long intestine lay strung from the corpse. I wanted to collect the carcass and leave it in somebodies lunchbox for a hilarious practical joke, but got too freaked out when I saw the blood. I didn’t even take a photo. What a scardy cat I am. What did amuse me was, just before crossing the road where the squirrel lay, a van pulled up right in front of it. A man got out, before putting up a sign labelled “Diversion” with an arrow pointing right, around the animal. I laughed. You probably had to be there.

When I walked home, the sign was still there and so was the squirrel. It looked smellier than eight hours earlier and had lots of flies buzzing around it. Again, I chickened out of taking a photo, in case anyone saw me and thought I was a weirdo. If you were after something filthy to brighten up your Monday night, sorry to disappoint you. Instead, I’ll post something equally disturbing for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

Posted by sean on August 4, 2013 at 3:05 pm in Leeds United with No Comments


I feel that I must apologise to my neighbours for any alarm and distress caused yesterday afternoon. At 16:54 British Summer Time, there was a large disturbance within my flat – mainly me screaming like a big girl, before bellowing like moose on heat and punching a door.

The cause for this eruption of noise was quite simple. Leeds United’s new million pound signing, Luke Murphy, scored the winning goal, with the final kick of the game.

After my outburst, I had to lie down for an hour to calm down.

Posted by sean on August 3, 2013 at 2:58 pm in Leeds United, Moving House with No Comments


A lot has happened since my last blog, which seems like ages ago now. In truth, it was only Monday, but in contrast with the past twelve months, where I would blissfully go weeks without updating this site, it isn’t very long at all.

Anyway, the news… Some woman had a baby, don’t you know. Oh yeah, we’ve already covered that – over and over and over again. Now it appears the media, very much like the rest of us, don’t give a shit either. Mercifully.

In my own life, I will shortly be moving from my humble abode, which has served me well since 2007. Last Friday, Claire and I viewed a house in Weston Village and put in an offer to rent it. I haven’t blog about this event until now, primarily because up until last week, the offer wasn’t accepted and I didn’t want to tempt fate.

Looking round last Friday was interesting to say the least. The current occupants, of which there seemed to be many, did not seem too pleased to see us. So densely populated was the house, that there was a mattress under the stairs. I am probably exaggerating slightly, but I seem to remember there was about a thousand people living there – and I have a photographic memory. Plus there was mess absolutely everywhere – it looked like a school jumble sale. I’m not painting a pretty picture of where I have decided to live with my wife-to-be, but in all seriousness, once the residents are moved/kicked out and take their mountains of clothes and bric-a-brac hoard with them, it will be a lovely home. No doubt I will blog more on that in the next few months.

As with any house move, there are always stresses. The latest came a few days ago, when, after our offer to rent the property was accepted, Claire and I were sent forms to fill out; effectively telling the letting agency our life story. I suppose they don’t want to have the next Mr and Mrs Fred West living in one of their properties. Digging up patios to recover dead bodies probably costs a lot of money and could even see a tenant lose their deposit. I think it would have been quicker to write and publish my own autobiography and send them a signed copy in the post…

The first three years of my childhood would be spent in the Roman City of York, North Yorkshire. Having no brothers or sisters at the time of my birth, my infancy was spent as an only child, being raised my mother and father. I am told that I had a happy start to my life….

Sod it – this autobiography stuff is boring… I’ll just do the reference form.

So, assuming the references all go through, and my line manager doesn’t mention the time I suffered a severe bout of rageahol and burnt down a building, I should be able to move into the house by the end of the month. “Should” be the operative word.

Photo does not represent the house I’m getting (unfortunately)

Moving away from the new house and back onto Leeds United. I blogged the other day about Ken Bates the Monopoly Man and his desire to buy various assets of the football club, despite being sacked as a (dis)honorary president. One of those assets was the club’s radio station, Yorkshire Radio. Less than a day after the news regarding this declined purchase emerged, it was announced that Yorkshire Radio, the station created by Master Bates, was being shut down with immediate effect. It would appear the Leeds owners would rather kill an entire radio station than let it be owner by the former dictator, I mean chairman. Of course, I naturally feel for all those connected with the radio station who have been made redundant. It is always sad when anyone loses their job – unless they’re an honorary president, in which case it’s fucking hilarious.

The Leeds owners, GFH, have been doing a lot to impress the fans this past month. They really are the gift which keeps on giving. Or should that be gift which keeps on GFHting? Is that bad? It is, isn’t it.

So pleased are the Leeds fans with GFH, that they have sold out their opening game of the 2013/14 season at home to the mighty Brighton And Hove Albion (kicking off in approximately 29 minutes!). Not only that, GFH have allegedly found investment to buy back Elland Road and possibly pump money into the team. I don’t know what this investment is, but my guess would be it is more than a few coppers behind the sofa.

I find the whole situation rather strange. Before his sudden departure, Ken Bates had been at the club for 8 and a half years. During this time, he admitted that nobody wanted to invest in Leeds United, even blaming the fans for this and branding us morons. Now we (almost) have investment and about to play a game of football in front our biggest opening day attendance since 2003 (before Bates). To quote Father Dougal Maguire “I’m hugely confused”. Confused because I was lead to believe Bates saved us and was doing the best for the club. The only possible thing I can think of is that GFH are better than Ken Bates – that Ken Bates was actually WORSE than GFH. But that couldn’t happen, could it, Ken? … COULD IT?

Marching on together.

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