I thought it was about time I blogged about something non-football related, as I’m aware that over the last couple of weeks, all my blogs have been about Leeds United’s new manager crisis!
There is absolutely no excuse for my blogging laziness. I had a perfect blogworthy topic to write about last Friday. Claire picked me up from work, so we could go to The Village. This is our high street of shops, but all locals refer to it as “The Village”. Anyone who has seen the movie Hot Fuzz, will recall the residents of Sanford. Our “Village” is very similar – although there are no murderers and instead of a Somerfield, we have a Tesco Express.
After browsing all the aisles of Tesco and paying for our groceries, we noticed the weather outside. It was raining, but this was no ordinary rain, this was rain of a Biblical scale. People sometimes say it is raining buckets – it literally was. Standing outside for a few seconds would leave you soaked. The car was not parked near Tesco. We were stranded.
Showers like this don’t normally last long in England, so we decided to wait by the exit to the supermarket. The rain persisted. Feeling self-conscious about standing in the doorway, holding our bags of shopping, we braved the outside. It was just like standing under a bathroom shower, in your clothes! After walking for about 20 seconds, we realised our mistake and took cover under an estate agents. A river of water ran down the road. I am sure that I saw a salmon swimming past us. Then the thunder and lightning started. God was very angry.
This was getting ridiculous. The car was literally minutes away. We couldn’t stand around in the village forever. With the water levels rising, there was a serious risk we could drown. We decided to walk through the rain and the storm, knowing that the sanctuary of the car wasn’t far away. The car would then drive us home, where we would be able to change into dry clothes.
As we walked to the car, someone who can only be described as a massive cunt drove past me and through a puddle. As they were driving at speed, I got splashed. I shouted some expletives at the car, half expecting the driver to stop, get out of the car and knock me out. I didn’t get into a fight and made it make to the car undamaged, but very soggy.
Half an hour later, I was home and in warm pyjamas, where I ate cake and watched television with my wife. I think we earnt the cake. As for the driver who splashed me, I hope they ran over a nail and burst all their tyres.
This morning there was a massive storm. Sheets of rain fell from the sky, followed by hailstones, thunder and lightning. I was so glad that I was indoors, during the immense weather experience. It was almost as if the storm had been sent by God, who had been angered by something – Dodgy Dave, I’m looking at you…
Better than I expected. Plus I didn’t go blind. Win win.
We don’t get much snow in Bath. While many parts of the country have been contending with the white stuff, we’ve avoided anything too cold and have just had lots of rain. I was therefore caught by surprise when, late in the afternoon, shortly before leaving work to go home, dark clouds descended from out of nowhere. It was like God had been angered. There was then an almighty downpour starting with rain, turning to hail, before becoming heavy snow. I was on a phone call, which couldn’t have lasted more than a couple of minutes. When the phone rang, the roads, pavements and surrounding fields were clear. Upon ending the call, everywhere was white. To add to the bizarre-o-world series of events, a lot of the snow which had settled began to disappear almost as fast as it fell. There’s still a light dusting in places and bits of slush in the road. This will naturally be more than enough to bring the whole of Bath into total carnage tomorrow morning.
It’s a good thing I was well prepared for the snow. This is what the blizzard brought to Bath last night.
On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.
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