Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 31/07/2004 at 1:59 pm in Leeds United with No Comments


Only 1 week to go until the new football season starts (a week longer for Premiership footy). Leeds start their 1 season visit to The Championship division (before their return to The Premiership in 2005/6) against Derby, 12.30pm next Saturday and for those Leeds fans not going to the game, its all good as the game is live on Sky Sports. Leeds are in action today against Hibs in Scotland where their new keeper Neil Sullivan plays his first game.

I got my wish in Big Brother last night too. Michelle, the psycho Geordie got evicted. The only disadvantage of this, is that we’ll have to put up with her on Big Brother’s Little Brother all next week.

Posted by sean on 30/07/2004 at 11:22 pm in Funny Things with No Comments



Booked it, packed it, f**ked off!


Sorry, but by the time you read this it will probably be too late, but just in case you have stumbled onto here before 10pm, you should know that the genius who is Peter Kay is on the Sky Digital channel Paramount 2 tonight.

Peter Kay at the Comedy Store at 10pm
Peter Kay: The Early Years at 10.30pm

‘av it!!!!!

If you missed it, here’s a collection of his musings

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint to toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger

4) You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. (enter the digits into the calculator and read upside down)

6) Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) Your never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

9) Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.

10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

13) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

18) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

20) Old women with mobile phones look wrong !

21) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

22) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

23) You never ever run out of salt.

24) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

25) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.

26) There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.

27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

28) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

29) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

30) People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard.

31) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

33) Bricks are horrible to carry.

34) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip

Posted by sean on 30/07/2004 at 6:20 pm in Television with No Comments


Well it’s Friday and I haven’t bee so pleased to reach the weekend for a long time. It’s been a long and stressful week! Tonight will be even better if I get back from going out to find Michelle has left Big Brother.

I finally got round to watching the original Shrek earlier on this evening. I ordered it off the internet and also tried to download it so I could watch it quicker (well, I had paid for the original and was waiting for it in the post so it’s not that illegal!) but it wouldn’t download. Then, last night when sorting my DVD Collection of home recorded films and programmes, I found that ages ago I had recorded Shrek from Sky Movies! It was on a DVD in a box for all this time. Anyway I watched it and enjoyed it. Not as good as the second one, but still very entertaining.

Also good news from Leeds United. They’ve signed Chelsea keeper Neil Sullivan. A great signing, especially for free. Can he win over the 1st team keeper spot from Scott Carson (the existing keeper) though?

Anyway, I’m off out. Hope Michelle is too!

Posted by sean on 29/07/2004 at 8:53 pm in Football with No Comments


Alan “Scum” Smith scored his first goal for Manchester United yesterday in a pre-season friendly against Celtic. The Scum still lost 2-1 though and Fergie moaned that Smith could of scored 4. Well Fergscum, get used to this with Smith. He missed loads of sitters with Leeds. Smith is a hardworking player but a crap finisher.

Onto the subject of Big Brother, Michelle now seems to be the favourite to get the boot tomorrow. Great news, especially if Stuart continues to hang around Shell. How will Michelle contain herself watching her “Chicken” flirt with other women? We’ll be able to see her go even more insane on Big Brothers Little Brother!

Posted by sean on 28/07/2004 at 7:00 pm in Leeds United with No Comments


Unbelievable. Truly unbelievable. After all the problems from the Leeds United retail department I actually got the new away shirt in the post today EARLY! Even better they actually managed to deliver my free T-Shirt and Keyring along with it too. I am happy with them today!

To make things better, The Mighty Whites beat Darlington 4-2 yesterday. I’m starting to feel quiet confident about the new season now!

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

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