Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 27/02/2007 at 6:24 pm in Moving House with No Comments


As the title states.


The hallway, complete with understair cupboard – good for locking Watkins in


The front room. No doubt many Bomberman sessions will be played here


My kitchen. I had to wash up all the Ikea plates/cups/etc today – it took ages


A walk in wardbrobe at the top of the stairs. Another place to inprison Watkins


My bathroom. Note the open door – I haven’t closed it yet, even when shitting!


My bedroom. I don’t normally sleep with South Park children…
unlike Mr. Wenger

Posted by sean on 26/02/2007 at 11:21 pm in Moving House with No Comments


With most of the boxes in my new flat unpacked, I had the tedious task of phoning utility companies to arrange gas/electricity/phone accounts. Needless to say, most of my morning was spent on hold or being transferred from one department in Scotland to another in India (and vice versa).

The majority of the calls I had to make have now been made. I even managed to sort myself out with a temporary solution to the internet outage I am currently facing (until I get activated with broadband). I signed up to an unmetered dial up service!

It’s just like living in the year 2000. No lightning fast download speed or torrents, but no worries of racking up a huge phone bill either – perfectly adequate for checking e-mails, surfing the web, MSN and blogging.

For anyone who has forgotten what an analogue modem sounds like, here’s a reminder. Pretty cool huh? It takes me back to my college days when I would stay up to the early hours of the morning, downloading individual MP3s from Napster (when it was free and illegal). My sister would lift up the telephone to call her friends, thus disconnecting me, and the whole dial up process would have to start again. I almost miss it.

Expect photos of the new flat TOMORROW!

Posted by sean on 25/02/2007 at 8:58 pm in Moving House with No Comments


This weekend has been busy. Very busy. Apart from a quick nights sleep, I haven’t stopped since yesterday morning.

A lot of my boxes have been unpacked and homes found for my possessions, but still there are piles of crap everywhere – it’s rather unsettling.

I filled my flat with even more shite today, having made a trip to Ikea to make “essential” purchases – pots, pans, cutlery, bedding, etc. I was shocked to find that a trolley full of home necessities costs in excess of £200! Part of moving into a new home I suppose.

I am currently blogging from my dad’s house as I have no internet at my new flat. Add to that no Sky TV – I would be pretty bored if I had time to be!

I haven’t really got anything else to say about the weekend, and I couldn’t find my digital camera to take photos of the chaotic state I am current dwelling in. Will try and take some pics and make a more meaningful blog tomorrow. Until then, I bid you farewell.

Posted by sean on 24/02/2007 at 12:35 am in Moving House with No Comments


I’m off to bed now. My last night in this shared house. From tomorrow I’ll have my own flat – privacy, quiet, bliss. Should I choose, I’ll be able to walk from kitchen to bedroom to front room in the nude and even take a shit with the bathroom door wide open. It’s going to be excellent.

Posted by sean on 23/02/2007 at 11:24 pm in Live Shows with No Comments


I’ve just got back from watching Jimmy Carr live in Bath. I must say, it was an excellent gig. He was absolutely hilarious, so funny he made the David Mitchell and Robert Webb show I saw last year seem like a funeral.

The show took place in The Pavillion, a run down building next to the Sports Centre. It reminded me of my old school hall where I used to attend assemblies. Close to a thousand people were crammed into the hall, huddled together like cows – it got very hot and uncomfortable. Jimmy Carr compared the location to a church sale.

His material and jokes were very funny, and not one was a reuse of his previous work. The interaction with the audience was superb. Drunken West Country chavs would shout awkward questions and obscenities in his direction, to which he would respond in the manner they deserved – mainly making fun of their inaudible accents and referring to having performed sexual acts with their mothers.

Some of his better jokes which I can remember!

Another term for a racist…
Somebody who is afraid of the dark

What’s the difference between rape and football?
Women don’t like football

People think dolphins are intelligent. They just look intelligent when swimming with the retarded children.

What’s a Unitard?
Apparently not this. According to Jimmy Carr, it’s a retarded child with a horn.

“I turned on the radio and heard that 10 people had been killed by a suicide bomber… then I found out it was in Basra – who cares?”

A kiss passes on lots of bacteria. A French kiss passes on bacteria, garlic and dog shit.

When people drive their cars in fog, why are there signs on the motorway warning people of its presence? Is it because they may be worried that they in fact have cataracts? Also, when driving in foggy conditions, why do people drive with their head closer to the windshield? The fog’s not in the car!

God does not condemn homosexuality. If he did, he would have created a plague for gays… This was followed by a series of Aids jokes.

All in all an excellent evening, highly recommended. If you get a chance to catch him on his current tour, it’s a must see show!

Thank you Jimmy, I haven’t laughed that much in ages. Also, thanks for not picking on me.

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

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