Having stumbled across this online petition, it would seem that every club in League One is crapping themselves at the sight of the famous Leeds United in the Play Off places, who have already overturned a 15 point deficit and remained unbeaten.

Apart from these terrified League One fans, jealous League Two supporters and nervous Championship followers (anticipating Leeds’ return next season), it seems nobody else has signed this petition, apart from, very comically, Leeds fans themselves. Maybe they’re hoping Gordon Brown will enforce a 30-point penalty; at least Dennis Wise and the gang will face some kind of a challenge to win the league!

Friday night, while in the local pub, I noticed a rather pathetic sight. A middle aged man; fat and balding, walking around, dressed head to toe in a Manchester United kit, with TEVEZ 32 printed on the back. Why do these overweight 40-somethings feel the need to dress up as their idols? It wasn’t just because he was a ManU fan, if he was wearing a Leeds shirt with BECKFORD 9 on the back, he would look just as ridiculous; some may argue more so.

Following a rather disappointing FA Cup exit for a battling Bath City, I met up Simon and Watkins for the evening. We decided to get pizza from the local takeaway, which caused rather a few problems. Simon ended up humiliating himself, while at the same time insulting an Italian man. The conversation went something like this.

Simon: “Can I order a Meat Feast pizza please?”
Italian: “Certainly, sir”
Simon: “Can you put beef on it as an extra topping?”
Italian: (rather confused) “It has beef”
Simon: “No. Can I have beef as an extra topping please!”
Italian: (now more confused) “But there is beef!”
Simon: (getting rather annoyed and speaking slowly) “Can I have some ‘B-E-E-F’ on my ‘P-I-Z-Z-A’?”
Italian: (points at the menu) “Mincemeat is beef; that is on pizza”

At that point Simon realised his mistake, paid the man and waited for his pizza; hoping the Italian he had just insulted wouldn’t violate it with his genitalia.

Brilliant result!
Fantastic game!
The stuff of dreams!
Newport County 2-3 Bath City!
Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?

A useful tip I learnt from tonight…
Don’t stand in the main terrace of the home fans and cheer when your team scores. I was surrounded by hundreds of angry Welshmen, and got rather scared. So much so, I headed for the seated stands in the second half and discretely watched City win the wonderful match, amongst grumpy old ex-miners moaning at the players, referee and management team.

This evening I went to Twerton Park to watch the Bath City Youth take on Tiverton Youth in the FA Youth Cup. Some 120 miles away, Arsenal seniors played Slavia Prague in the UEFA Champions League.

• The “Bath Babes” lost 3-0. Arsenal won 7-0.
• The football I watched was playground stuff. Arsenal’s was sublime.
• The referee at Twerton was teaching the boys how to play; whereas the official at The Emirates was struggling to communicate with all the different nationalities.
• The lino at Twerton had a beer belly and man breasts. The linesman at The Emirates had a tan and botox treatment.
• I paid £2 to get in. Some Gooners were charged in excess of £200.
• I stood with two other City fans, pitchside in an otherwise empty stand. Arsenal fans were packed like sardines, hundreds of feet up, in their superbowl-style stadium.
• I stood shivering hoping I wouldn’t catch hyperfermia. Arsenal fans enjoyed their warm, heated seats. At least four fans now have piles.
• I forced down a bottle of Coke and a Crunchie bar. Arsenal fans dined on prawn sandwiches and caviar; all washed down with lashings-upon-lashings of Cava.

Football
Bath City – rubbish performance, shattered players, 3 points dropped.
Leeds United – another win, another 3 points, 6 points of 1st place.
Phill Neville – Sent off against Liverpool for a save that Paul Robinson can only dream of making.

Egg Chasing
England lose the egg-and-spoon-race final. Awww… did-ums.

F1
Poor Lewis. Inevitable after the previous race. Hopefully some good will come of this.

Rest of my weekend
Too late to blog anymore.

This afternoon at work I was dared to eat a teabag. The rules were, it had to be consumed in one single mouthful, without the aid of water or other fluid. Normally I wouldn’t stoop to such immature levels (no, really), but there was a £10 prize in it for me if I managed to swallow it. This was always going to be a tricky one for me, especially as I hate tea.

After much thought and contract writing (to ensure I was indeed paid) I managed to build up a mouthful of saliva, and popped a compressed teabag into my mouth. Seconds later, I swallowed it. The bag got stuck in my throat. I had to do one of two things. Cough it back up or risk vomiting my lunch all over the office floor. I chose the former.

I didn’t win the tenner, but at least I tried. I also learnt that it is impossible to eat a teabag.

This week on my management course, or “David Brent Training” as Sam refers to it, I learnt all about delegating tasks. I’m not currently in a management or supervisory role, but a lot of what I learnt I have noticed from those currenlty above me… “File this for me, get this for me, suck this for me.…” - don’t worry; that quote is from Peep Show and not from a real life experience of mine.

Along with being forced to write a boring assessment and have mind-numbing conversations with my fellow learners, we also watched a video – always a good way to get the attention of weary students, or giving them an excuse to have a quick sleep.

Unlike the last session, this weeks training video didn’t feature the likes of the genius, John Cleese. Instead a bunch of cockney-wideboys acted (poorly) in a short film about WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T DELEGATE. The video looked like it was set in the 1970’s and judging by the quality of the audio on the cassette, it had probably been made back then too. Every now and then, mid-conversation, the actors would change from annoying stereotypical cockneys into a deep, slurred, Darth Vadars, as the well-worn video tape tried to prevent itself from snapping in two. A comical moment in an overall boring video.

Time to go, Tufty, time to go. Step up “The Special One”.

I’m just recovering and drying off after getting rather wet going to Twerton Park to watch Bath City play Weston Super Mare in the Setanta Shield.

I don’t rate the S.S. at all. In fact I think it is a distraction from the league and FA Cup and is detrimental to a club’s season; especially as the rules state you have to play 10 of your regular 11 players in each round – a ridiculous clause, and one I find to be bordering on illegal.

While standing alongside 167 other fans, soaking wet and sodden, I was almost praying for Weston to win. The game went on and on, and the scoreline remained at 0-0. Late into the game, Matt Coupe got a goal for City. I didn’t know whether to cheer or cry. I did neither. Instead I clapped modestly; in the way you may applaud a child in a school pantomime who hasn’t performed very well. The rain which had been falling steadily for 90minutes then turned into a monsoon – perfect timing for Weston to grab an equaliser and force another 30minutes of dire football.

The final half hour was played in horrendous conditions. City fans winched as players fell to the water-logged pitch, following bone shattering tackles from clumsy Weston defenders. Luckily all Bath players got away unscaved. Unluckily City won the game 3-2 and will be forced to play an equally pointless and dangerous game against Newport next month.

Rubbish competition and one which Setanta; who are supposed to be priding themselves in offering quality football in a Sky dominated world, should be ashamed of.