The weather finally seems to have cooled down to a habitable temperature, which pleases me immensely. Not only can I go about my daily life without burning in the intense heat, but I can go to sleep, safe in the knowledge that I won’t be fed upon…

Sunday night. I’m lying in bed. Hot. Very hot. Then I hear a high pitched buzzing. A mosquito. I wasn’t willing to ignore it and go to sleep. If I did, I may as well garnish my body with relish and write ‘Bon appetite’ on my face. Besides which, I didn’t really want to risk catching malaria – a disease increasingly common amongst African football players. I had to get up and deal with it.

I turned the light on, but couldn’t find the little bugger anywhere. Then, from behind the door, the carnivorous insect flew straight towards me. Armed with a can of fly killer, I sprayed it. It was no more. I went back to bed. Moments later, as if from a horror film, it came back – this time, within touching distance of my face. I trapped it in the corner and unleashed half a can of Raid Insect Killer onto it. It lay dying on my bedside table buzzing around. That’s when it got crushed.

Asta la vista, baby! MwaHaHaHa!

Weston-Super-Mare’s pier is no longer super :o(

R.I.P.

Summer finally arrived this weekend, and instead of giving us some nice warm days and cool evenings; the weatherman decided to incinerate the whole country, causing blood to boil and skin to fall off well cooked flesh and bones. OK, that may have been a slight exaggeration, but it has been very, very hot.

Things weren’t helped either by some local kids, who, for some bizarre reason, feel the need to get up at 7am and play outside in their garden. When I say ‘play’, I mean ‘pretended to murder each other’. I have to sleep with my bedroom window open because of the heat, but am then awakened to screaming, crying children.

This blog may make it sound like I had a bad weekend. I didn’t. Friday night I went with Claire and family to Melksham to watch Bath City – a really nice, summers evening. Saturday night was spent by the river at The Dolphin. This afternoon I went to some countryside pub in the heart of Wiltshire. It was extremely hot, although a pint of Thatcher’s did cool me down a lot – surprising that :o)

Buy your limited edition Ken Bates garden gnome now!

(at least it looks like Ken)

My return to Twerton Park last night was everything I had hoped for. I got my new shirt (which is superb), became reacquainted with friends from last season, drank City Ale (Bath Gem to those not in the know) and watched a great bit of pre-season footy with my girlfriend.

The new signings impressed me; especially Stuart Douglas – not to be confused with Edgar Davids, however good he may be! After meeting ‘Dougy’ in the clubhouse at fulltime, I found he’s not only a great footballer, but a top bloke too!

I logged onto my bank account today to find this

Cheers, Bill. It’s only two months late!

Looks like my threats of legal action and violence got things moving.

That free game, Viva Pinata: Part Animals, arrived today as well.

It’s been almost 12 weeks since I last watched a live football game – a stat that will change tomorrow when I attend Twerton Park for the first time this season. It may only be a friendly against Oxford United, but I have missed football so much and the thought of watching any game excites me.

Apparently Timmy Mallett is an Oxford United fan. Maybe he’ll be at the game tomorrow…

Remember this blog and this blog?

Well “surprise, surprise” – Microsoft, a billionaire company, have still failed to pay the £39.99, stolen from me in May. Wankers.

I called them again this afternoon and was told, yet again, that I would have to wait another 3 weeks for the money. That’s when I went mad…

I’d had enough. Microsoft had pissed me off one time too many. I wanted the complaint escalated. I wanted to speak to Bill!

After waiting on hold for almost an hour, I got through to a supervisor – sadly it wasn’t Mr. Gates; it was some moron who was just as useless as is deputy. I was promised that the money would be in my account within 3 weeks; to which I promised if it wasn’t Trading Standards would be contacted. I would have got really mad at this point, but was offered a free game as compensation (something I had to demand). I chose Viva Pinata: Party Animal.

I now know how Bill Gates has become as wealthy as he has. Not from making excellent software and operating systems used the world-over. No, it’s by taking money from customers for products they don’t require, and then refusing to refund them!

I was down the local pub last night. While enjoying a pint with Simon, our conversation was interrupted by a small child. The kid had wandered off from its mother and was trying to make friends. Bless. The child’s idea of starting a friendship was by offering me chocolate. Now this is always a good thing, but not in this case.

I wasn’t able to accept the gift. Not because I felt bad about taking a young boy’s sweets, but because the chocolate had been half chewed and covered was in spit. It was extremely awkward when he left the soggy KitKat on the pub table and stood around watching, expecting me to tuck in.

Luckily he was distracted by something shiny at the other side of the room and he ran away; but I was left feeling bad and guilty for not eating his gift of chewed up biscuit. Am I going to Hell now?

The Knock-Off Nigel ads are back. They certainly made me think – I won’t be downloading pirate material anymore (not that I ever did).