Yesterday, I went to Welling in Kent to watch Bath City. This is one of the longest trips of the season, with Park View Road, the home of Welling United, not being a very kind ground to City in recent years.

After what seemed like a really long trip, we finally made it to a rather damp Kent. Luckily the game went ahead.

Before kick off, the majority of the fans went to a nearby pub. There we enjoyed a pre-match drink, while watching the Chelsea/Man City game.

Despite a slow start to the match, the game was overall very good and City produced an excellent performance. Kaid Mohamed scoring for City just before half time.

City continued their dominance into the second half and it was only late into the game when Welling started to become a threat, throwing everything but the kitchen sink at City’s goal.

As every football fan knows, while this approach can lead to success and late goals, it is also a dangerous approach, leaving the defence open to counter attacks. Step up Mr. David Gilroy…

Gilroy became a City cult hero when he joined from rivals Chippenham in 2007. In two seasons, the striker scored 50 goals for The Stripes. It was therefore understandable that when he left 9 months ago for Newport County, the City fans were very upset. To the joy of all supporters, ‘Gilly’ returned to Twerton Park a week ago, many claiming he had ‘returned home’.

With City leading by just one goal and seconds remaining, Welling won a free kick close to City’s penalty area. The Welling goalkeeper, along with all his fellow players, ran up for the set piece. Welling didn’t score and Bath City took advantage, tearing down the pitch through the home team’s depleted defence. A wonderful pass, courtesy of Hector Mackie, met the deadly Dave Gilroy, who slammed the ball past the hapless keeper to win the game 2-0 and send the travelling fans wild.

Gilly has well and truly returned. City, up to third in the league, are well and truly in contention for the Play Offs. The season is well and truly alive.

This is James Bond. He likes to spend money, shoot bad guys and jump from bed to bed with different women. He is suave, sophisticated and good looking. Most importantly, he is NOT REAL.

This is John Terry. Like many professional football players, he shares a lot of James Bond’s interests – although I don’t think shooting baddies is on his list of hobbies.

Terry does, according to media reports, like to bed various other women, including partners of his friends (‘allegedly’, as we keep being told by the press). The difference between John Terry and Mr. Bond, however, is Terry is an embarrassing, unlikeable ugly bloke. Most importantly, he IS REAL.

It isn’t just John Terry at fault. Even people living in the deepest, darkest caves on the moon will have heard about the behaviour of Terry’s Chelsea teammate, Ashley Cole. It is a sad state of affairs, especially as these Chelsea chavs are not the only players behaving in a disgusting manner. For every Ca$hley Cole, there are many others.

The incidents in recent weeks, including the events at Chelsea’s home game yesterday, really do emphasis the fact that football players are not living in the real world and need to enter it as soon as possible.

Some may argue that what goes on off the pitch should remain private. However, when you’re a top-flight football player who makes millions of pounds from your occupation, you will attract off the field interest, and must show a high standard of professionalism.

Moving on from the players and back to everyone’s favourite fictional MI6 agent… James Bond also likes to gamble. The fact 007 nearly always wins when he visits casino’s is irrelevant – yet again, he is NOT REAL.

However, in this crazy world of football, there are chairmen of clubs who gamble hundreds of millions of pounds on success. On Friday, Portsmouth FC became the first top-flight club to fall into administration. Never mind, they’ll be ok – their debts are now gone, and despite being relegated, they’ll stand an excellent chance of winning The Championship next season.

What about all the local businesses who are owed money from Portsmouth FC? The money they will lose could see them go bust. No reprieve or administration for Mr. Smith who supplies the club’s pies. He’ll be forced to join the dole queue.

The world of football as a whole needs to take a long, hard look at itself. The chairmen, managers and players have been living in this fantasy, James Bond-style world for too long. It is all coming to a head now and the fans are getting fed up. If something doesn’t change soon, the beautiful game could go the way of 007’s arch enemy, Blofeld – down the chimney.

This weekend, Danny Baker used part of his Saturday morning radio show to discuss the worst description that can be given to a football club facing difficult times.

Match of the Day recently used the phrase “Hapless Hull” to report on the Humerside Club’s 3-0 defeat to West Ham, while Sky Sports have officially given the name “Beleaguered Portsmouth” to the cash-stripped South Coast side. More famously, all football fans will no doubt have heard of “Roy Keane’s Struggling Ipswich”.

Yet, it was decided by Danny Baker that the one thing nobody wants their football club to be described as is “Sorry”. If a match report uses that word alongside your team’s name, you know you’re in real trouble.

This weekend, Bath City played Weymouth – one of the most famous non-league clubs. Sadly for their supporters, Weymouth no longer have the success they once had and the fallen giants languish at the bottom of The Blue Square South. They are also financially crippled and face a real possibility of going out of business. Last weekend, Weymouth hit a new low, losing 6-0 to Basingstoke.

Therefore, no journalist, pundit or fan would be blamed for calling Bath City’s opponents “Sorry Weymouth”

Despite all Weymouth’s turmoil, Bath City, who are challenging for a place in the play offs, played badly. Top scorer, Darren Edwards, even missed a penalty on the stroke of half time to add to the home fans’ frustration.

Although Bath City didn’t play well, Sorry Weymouth were worse themselves and when City scored 2 goals in as many minutes to win the game, the away team must have felt very, very sorry indeed.

I now hope ‘In-form Bath City’ carry on their push for the play offs, where they could get promoted to the Blue Square Premier – a league full of very strong teams, who could give my own side the ‘Sorry’ title.

Jerry Gill's Struggling Weymouth

The musical legends of The West Country visited the non-league football legends of The West Country last night. It was, of course, Somerset’s answer to JLS, The Wurzels, playing at Bath City FC.

This is the second time I have seen The Wurzels, after I went to their Komedia gig last year. The set list was more or less the same, but that didn’t stop it being an excellent evening.

1) The Blackbird
2) The Champion Dung Spreader
3) The Marrow Song
4) The Shepton Mallet Matador
5) Farmer Bill’s Cowman
6) Pill Pill
7) Somerset Trouser Varnish Shakedown
8) All Over Mendip
9) Good old Somerset
10) I Am A Cider Drinker
11) Don’t Look Back In Anger
12) Combine Harvester
13) Drink Up Thy Cider

This time, I was even able to meet the band at the end of the gig and get CDs signed… that should raise a few quid on eBay… joking.

I was disappointed they didn’t adapt their song Drink Up Thy Zider to match the Bath City version

Drink up thy zider, drink up thy zider,
For tonight we’ll merry be,
We’ll all go down to Yeovil, and do the bastards over

Although I think all the Bath City supporters who attended the event sung loud enough to make the revised (and arguably better) lyrics heard.

After recent trips to various supermarkets, I was disappointed that I was unable to find a certain breakfast cereal on sale that I used to be rather fond of – Golden and Cinnamon Grahams.

I looked high and low in Asda, Morrison’s and Tesco, but was unable to find the cereal. All Bran, Weetabix and Shreddies just aren’t the same.

Then I looked on the source of all knowledge, Wikipedia, and was disturbed to learn that the once King of Breakfast Cereals had been discontinued in the UK. It would appear my love for the sweet morning treat was not shared by many. Or, it was shared by too many and was being blamed for the nation’s obesity problem.

It appears they still sell the cereal in America and many countries throughout Europe. Is it worth moving to another country, simply for a nice breakfast? No. Is it worth importing them at £6 a box (plus p&p)? No.

It looks like I will simply have to do without. Both Golden Graham and his cinnamon-coated cousin have been exiled from the UK supermarket cereal aisle, along with Corn Pops and Lucky Charms.

The Yanks, French and Spanish don’t know how lucky they are.

… record.

Leeds sadly lost at home in the league for the first time this season last night. To Walsall of all teams. Truly shocking!

I still have full faith in Saint Simon Grayson to get Leeds promoted though. He IS the Football God.

So, Sir Alex is “wary of David Beckham media circus”

Surely not…

Leeds United manager and football God, Saint Simon Grayson, will surely have swapped his Tetley’s Bitter for a pint of scrumpy this evening as promotion-rivals Charlton took on everyone’s third favourite* West County football club, Bristol Rovers.

Since the start of 2010, when good overpowered evil and Leeds beat Manchester United in the FA Cup, things have not been going so great for Saint Grayson’s team. Still, even God made mistakes when he created the universe – surely Cardiff wasn’t intentional.

Therefore, when Grayson’s latest disciple, Paul Trollope, guided his team, Bristol Rovers, to victory over Charlton, Saint Simon saw that it was good.

Tomorrow night, Leeds take on Walsall (Claire’s temporary local side) at Elland Road. Victory for Saint Simon’s team will surely see his angels move closer to promotion.

* after Bath City and Bristol City

Valentine’s Day – a time for those in love to celebrate their relationship and compassion for each other. Also a time for those who are single and couples in relationships who have grown to despise each other, to avoid. Luckily, I am in the former of those categories.

Claire came down for the weekend and we celebrated our Valentine’s Day on Friday evening. We went for a meal at The Boathouse – the riverside pub/restaurant where we went at the start of our relationship, nearly two years ago.

We had a nice meal and were entertained by a neighbouring table talking very vocally about their various traumatic lifetime experiences. I tried to work out which country they were from, based upon their accent – my guess being America, Australia or Outer Mongolia. They weren’t Bristolian.

The next day, we visited the town of Maidenhead in Berkshire. Not the typical venue for a romantic weekend, but for two Bath City fans wanting to see their team play, it was ideal. The City players gave us each a Valentine’s gift, by winning the game 2-1, moving closer to the promised land of the ‘Blue Square South Play Off Zone’.

After a really lovely weekend, it is unfortunately a return to reality. Claire is back at university in Walsall and I am back to work. Sadly, we are not in a Walt Disney cartoon where we can live carefree everyday of the year; we live in the real world which involves work, bills and Gordon Brown. Oh well…

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