The results for the Race to reply compo set earlier in the month are in…

To announce the standings, I give you David O’Leary…

In third place is the landlord. He took the longest to reply to the original email. In the end, it was promised he would visit the flat to fix the broken tap today. I’ll let you guess whether he came or not…

In second spot is EDF Energy. They took over a week to reply; clearly they don’t care whose gas meter the readings are provided for, as long as they get their sweet, sweet money.

In first place, the champion, BANES. The promise of hundreds of pounds in the form of council tax money, obviously spurred them on to reply in under a week.

England golden boy Wayne Rooney’s World Cup hopes hang in the balance after the striker limped off in Manchester United’s 2-1 defeat to Bayern Munich in the Champions League.

Oh dear…

Cue mass media frenzy about Rooney’s foot/ankle/toe; with nothing else apparently mattering, whether it be a terrorist attack, Brown/Cameron/Harry Hill winning the election, or the entire population of Poland moving to the UK… OK, maybe The Daily Mail will pick up on that last one.

If Rooney’s brittle bones do heal in time, I would advise Alex Ferguson to wrap him in many layers of cotton wool, Charmin toilet roll and skins of murdered Andrex puppies. Better still, dress him in a Knitted Character costume.

With Rooney fit, England’s chances of winning the World Cup might be slightly less slim than if he was crocked.

1:1 – In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
1:2 – And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
1:3 – And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
1:4 – And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
1:5 – And Sean had his tea

(The power cut has finished)

The whole street is without power. It has been down for half an hour now.

Worst still, I was cooking my tea at the time – it had not finished and is half frozen – a present for the binmen.

Not knowing when electricity will be restored, I have been forced to make a ‘meal’ comprising of banana, apple, crisps and custard.

I often find it difficult getting to sleep on a Sunday night, following the weekend. This has been even more hard by the clocks going forward!

Need sleep soon :(

As the news about Sven taking the Ivory Coast job breaks, various players react to the story…

Firstly Ivory Coast internationals, Didier Drogba and Emmanuel Eboué…

We can now travel to Madrid to see what Cristiano Ronaldo, whose Portugal side play the Ivory Coast in the World Cup group stages, thinks of Sven’s appointment.

Forget the war, famine and poverty in Africa – something truly awful has happened to the people of the Ivory Coast…

Someone call Bono and Bob Geldof now – these people need help!

It is quite possibly the most anticipated album since Michael Jackson’s Thriller… The Wurzel’s upcoming covers collection – A Load More Bullocks – the follow up to their excellent Never Mind the Bullocks release.

Here is an excerpt from their official press release

The famous Scrumpy and Western band have put their distinctive ‘west country’ stamp on this fine collection of classic contemporary hits. Take That’s ‘Up All Night’, Nickelback’s ‘Rockstar’, Pulp’s ‘Common People’ and The Stranglers’ ‘Golden Brown’ have all been Wurzelised. Other notable highlights include The Fratelli’s ‘Chelsea Dagger’, Spinal Tap’s ‘Sex Farm’ and the first single – a stunning version of Kaiser Chiefs’ ‘Ruby’

I am excited by the proposed songs and am especially looking forward to the Kaiser Chief’s cover. Hopefully they’ll find time to do Cheryl Cole’s Fight for This Love and that song by Journey that is being played to death everywhere. Both of which would sound great with a Somerset twist.

The album is set for release on the 13th June. Seeing as its release will coincide with The World Cup, how about doing a song for the England National Team?

This evening I met up with old acquaintances from the RUH. It was the leaving party for the two RA Agents, Doug and Adrian.

We started the night with a trip to The Ocean Pearl – an ‘all you can eat’ Chinese restaurant, or as I liked to refer to it –  ‘eat as much as you can’.

Being a fussy eater, I stuck mostly to noodles, green beans and chips – followed by vast quantities of ice cream and jelly. As someone pointed out, I could have ordered a roast dinner from a nearby pub and had a similar meal.

I think I got my money’s worth, though, and hopefully cost them more than the £11.50 I paid to dine there.

After consuming nearly the whole restaurant, we went out for a few drinks, which I struggled with due to the large meal earlier!

It’ll probably be a good idea to go to bed now. Despite being home for over an hour, I’ve stayed up messing about on the laptop and chatting on MSN. Bath City are away in Basingstoke tomorrow, so I’ll need sleep before I travel.

After watching local news, I can confirm it is officially the biggest story in the West Country since police found out what Fred West had been up to.