You know it’s the start of a bad day when you get to work, open your bag and find out that the jar containing the sugar for your coffee has lost its lid. Sugar everywhere! On my apple, in my sandwich, on my Tracker bar. Not fun.
The rest of the day went relatively well. It wasn’t amazing or the best day ever. If I was Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day, I would probably have to re-live today, as it wasn’t perfect. But as far as Monday’s go, besides the sugar incident, it was good.
Until this evening.
Turn on the light in my front room. BANG! All the other lights go out. It was a good thing I had recently visited the toilet, or my underwear would be filled. After coming to my senses, I realised the bulb had blown and taken the circuit with it. This is the same bulb I was moaning about for the past week about it being “too dark” and “making a buzzing noise”. My own fault, I guess.
Luckily it was a simple case of flicking the trip switch back on. However, the bulb will need changing. I will need somebody taller than me, with a bulb, to climb the step ladder and change it on the stupidly high ceiling.
If you believe everything you read on the internet and the newspapers, Chelsea and England defender, Ashley Cole is a gay man. Of course, this is untrue (I don’t want to get sued here) and even if it was factual (which it isn’t), so what. It just makes a good blog title.
Ca$hley, as he is affectionately known by his bank manager, has however been in the news this time for shooting someone with a gun. Apparently this is true, although to avoid any court summons, I will add “supposedly”, “allegedly” and “only true in fairytales”.
I don’t think the shooting was anything like this scene involving Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator, although would love to think it was. No, according to the press (sue them, not me), Cole shot a work experience student with an air rifle.
What the ex-Arsenal player was doing with such a weapon at Chelsea’s training ground is anybody’s guess. “Once a Gunner, always a Gunner”, I assume. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
You do have to feel sorry for the kid who got shot though. Out of everyone it could have happened to, it was him. Surely there were people of less value and talent in the room at the time – Salomon Kalou, for example. It was also unfortunate Cole had the rifle and not Fernando Torres, who would have surely missed from 5 yards away. Apologies again for my poor attempt at humour.
Lastly, if read the title of this blog and expected gay pornography, I apologise.
It just goes to show that eating healthy food and shopping at Sainsbury’s does not make you better athlete. Earlier in the week, the Leeds United website reported their players went shopping at the supermarket for fruit and vegetables. Today they lost 3-0 at Swansea.
Wayne Rooney, who clearly shops at Greggs, was in a victorious team, winning 4-0. Pies on the menu at Leeds United’s training ground, next week I think.
Some truly excellent telly tonight.
9pm is the return of the excellent Benidorm to ITV, immediately followed by a new comedy on Channel 4, Friday Night Dinner. It’s got Will from The Inbetweeners in it and looks like it could be very funny.
All other activities this evening are cancelled.
We had an email at work today confirming we would be given 29th April – the day of The Royal Wedding – off as a bank holiday.
What I want to know, is if disaster strikes and the wedding is called off, is the bank holiday cancelled too? Not that I’m suggesting anything will happen, but say Kate Middleton got a bit too friendly with John Terry…
I’m going to get hanged now and fed to corgies.
On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.
If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.