Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 31/05/2014 at 10:46 pm in Leeds United with No Comments

So Brian McDermott has left Leeds United. Probably the most unpredictable thing ever to happen in football. Many have said that Brian had to work under difficult circumstances. While this is true, I think it would be fair to say that he should have known things would be tough when he took the job. This is Leeds United, for crying out loud. Things have never been simple and never will be. It is a rollercoaster at Elland Road, although for the past decade or so, it’s been more like a broken elevator. A broken elevator which malfunctioned on top of a 500-story building and is plummeting to the ground.

I’d like to thank Brian for some things. Most of all, the fun he gave me writing blog entries about him. There are only so many egg puns and jokes you can make before it gets boring though, so maybe it’s a good thing he has now gone. The victory over Watford last April was also amusing. It was the final game of the season. Our campaign had just been ruined by the recently departed Neil Warnock. Watford could have sealed promotion to the Premier League, with victory over Leeds. We did everything in our power to ruin their day. Not only did our winger assault their goalkeeper on the field of play, leading him to be substituted, but we beat Watford, with a last minute goal from Ross McCormack. The goal was helped by the fact the injured keeper’s replacement was awful and shaking like a shitting dog in fear.

Then there was preseason and the hope that came with it. Maybe this would be our year. Maybe we would reach the Premier League. Sadly, as always, it’s the hope that kills you. Predictably, we had another dog-diarrhea season. Maybe that is why Leeds look set to appoint Dave Hockaday as Brian’s replacement. “Who?” you all say. Exactly. Mr. Hockaday managed Forest Green Rovers, a team Bath City were playing only a couple of years ago, until he was sacked. That’s right, he wasn’t good enough for a non-league team, but he is the right man for Leeds United. At least any dreams about success next season will fade before a ball is even kicked. Well done, Dave. You’ve achieved something.

Maybe the Hockaday stuff is just one big joke. Maybe Leeds’ new owner has got on the phone to Simon Grayon, the Football God, and asked him to come home; inviting the whole gang back – Johnny Howson, Robert Snodgrass, Max Gradel and best of all… Luciano Becchio.

Posted by sean on 30/05/2014 at 9:46 pm in Pizza with No Comments

Two large pizzas and a dessert for under twelve quid. Thank you, Papa John’s.

It made a nice tea and there’s even leftovers for tomorrow. Cold pizza is amazing.

Posted by sean on 29/05/2014 at 1:10 pm in Leeds United, Work Activities with No Comments

Is it a little obsessive to have an ex-Leeds United striker, now Norwich City reserve bench-warmer, as my desktop wallpaper?

He is one of my favourite players of all time. I dream of him coming back home to Leeds (on an almost nightly basis).

In case you don’t know who this is, it’s Luciano Becchio and not Luka Modric, like colleague of mine thought. He is something of a God (Luciano, not my colleague).

Posted by sean on 28/05/2014 at 9:34 pm in Television with No Comments

They don’t make children’s television like they used to. Let’s take a look at what’s on at the time of writing this blog.

On the CBBC channel there is Meet the Pups. “A series following a little of springer spaniel puppies. The pups are given toys for the first time and want to play with their mum and dad”. WHAT BOLLOCKS. This is on a BBC channel. My licence fee is paying for this tripe!

Then you have Officially Amazing Mini! “More best bits from Officially Amazing. Ben and Al are in Florida to meet a man with an amazing moustache, who hopes to toll his way into the record books in his canoe”. Despite being referred to as “amazing” twice, as well as promising to show the “best bits”, I somewhat think this may be a little overhyped. What is this programme about? What relevance is his moustache and how will it help him in his vain attempt to enter the Guinness Book of Records?

Edd the Duck will be spinning in his grave

This type of television teaches the youth of today nothing. It is of no surprise to me that children are all morbidly obese, addicted to smartphones, injecting crack into their veins and happy slapping pensioners, when this is what they have to put up with on TV.

Without wanting to sound like a Werther’s Original sucking pensioner myself, when I was a child, television was much better. I know over the years memories fade and it is easy to remember things from the past being better than they actually were. That is why I ventured onto YouTube to watch one of my favourite shows as a kid –The Animals of Farthing Wood.

It was as good as I remembered! The only thing I didn’t realise at the time was that it is dubbed, but who cares about that – it’s talking animals, for crying out loud, their mouths won’t synchronise properly with the English translators.

The TV series is based upon the novels by Colin Dann and follows a collection of woodland animals on their adventure as they escape Farthing Wood to a safe haven of White Deer Park, after their home is destroyed by builders. There is a second series which shows the animals during their first year in the park; dealing with winter, rival foxes, birth, marriages and death.

The live action version of the show never took off

It is such a well-done series and covers so many social issues, which will benefit children (well, it taught me something). Kids will be learning something without even knowing it! The show is funny, sombre, sad and thrilling.

All the episodes are on YouTube, which I have watched for the first time in 20 years. It’s a crying shame you can’t buy them on DVD; but oh well, at least you can buy In The Night Garden and Peppa Pig – shows which will no doubt turn today’s tots into tomorrow’s rapists.

Posted by sean on 27/05/2014 at 10:37 pm in Television with No Comments

Well that was something about nothing. Tina’s death on Coronation Street. It was a bit shit. She fell off a wall. In short, Tina met the same demise as an egg from a children’s nursery rhyme.

Had she died like Quint in Jaws, then that would have been cool. You can wave goodbye to your Best Soap Award now, Corrie. OK, Manchester isn’t known for its giant great white shark population, but what about that mammoth cat during the show’s intro? That pussy could swallow you whole and could easily have been used in place of a killer fish.

Another favourite movie death of mine, which could have killed off Tina, was when the Nazis melted in Indiana Jones- Raiders of the Lost Ark. I’m sure Dev has the Holy Grail somewhere in his corner shop, underneath a pile of out of date biscuits.

Finally, anyone remember Speed, when the baddie loses his head on a train. I couldn’t find a YouTube clip for that one. Those pesky anti-copyright guys probably got hold of it. Kill Tina that way. Anyway, but not falling off a wall.

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

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