Yes, it’s a moaning blog today. This time I’m going to complain about two things which a lot of people really enjoy – Glastonbury Festival and tennis.

Lots of people have been raving about how great Glastonbury is. I appreciate how popular it is and can also see why people really like it. Not me though. Too many people. Too much dirt. Lots of noise. Being surrounded by thousands of dirty people, wandering around in a cocktail of mud and their own shit *, I would feel like a battery chicken.
* OK, maybe not human faeces

That said, many people no doubt think that I’m mad for travelling hundreds of miles to a football ground, only to stand on a terrace in the freezing cold or monsoon showers. They’re probably right.

The other thing I hate is tennis. It’s a crap, pointless sport. In fact the only sport worse than tennis is rugby. I hate the fact that during Wimbledon, like in any sporting event, the whole of the country goes mad and brings out the bunting like they are attending a BNP convention. I’m all for national pride and patriotism, but why get over excited when someone you never normally care about is competing in a competition he or she will most likely never win? Are you still with me? I think that rant did ramble on a bit.

Whatever sport England or Britain are competing in, the “fans” always seem to have the same degree of hope and expectation. Hope and expectation that will no doubt end in misery and despair. A “tennis follower” informed me today that Andy Murray (apparently our latest sporting hero) has a chance of winning his next tennis match as his opponent is injured. What a typically British way of looking at things. I seem to remember during past World Cup tournaments fans holding out hope of beating the opposition because Figo was suspended or Ronaldo’s dog had recently died.

The other annoying thing about tennis, is during Wimbledon it’s always on the telly. Now I know how people who hate football feel during the World Cup. I hope next year’s Wimbledon is held in Australia so those who want to watch Pete Sampras and Jimmy White, will have to stay up until 3am in order to do so, and I won’t have to switch to BBC2 if I wish to watch The One Show.

Rant over.