So it’s finally over. As the special day draws to a close, billions of people worldwide, myself included, are drawing a sigh of relief that we don’t have to be reminded about Christmas for another 11 months, well 6 if the retailers get their way. Bah humbug and such.

Here’s a review of my Christmas Day.

PRESENTS
These were good, very good in fact. Gifts I received which particularly pleased me included – Gears of War (video game for the Xbox 360), Bath City football shirt, a beautiful canvas print of some woodland (which is now hanging on my wall) and Chris Moyles’s new autobiography.

FOOD
Adequate at best. I volunteered to help cook and somehow ended up preparing the whole turkey. This will no doubt come as a shock to some of you, particularly those who have seen me cremate a pizza and douse barbecue sausages in ash. This turkey did not set on fire, nor did it give anybody who consumed it salmonella – so there. It was rather dry, although turkey is always dry at the best of times, especially if they’re boneless like the one I had to cook.. c’mon, I’m not Gordon ‘fucking’ Ramsey! Next year I’m going to the pub for dinner.

TELEVISION
The little TV I did watch was shit. As predicted, Vicar of Dibley was diabolical. Little Britain, disappointing. I no longer watch EastEnders, although did catch the tail end of it before Dibley. I saw Pauline Fowler’s much publicised death. What a disappointment. The old bag just lay down in the snow. Such a long serving servant of the soap deserves to go out in style, maybe in a big ball of flames, or to be cut into tiny pieces by a machete waving maniac.

Of course, Christmas isn’t just about presents, food and television. I had an enjoyable time with family and a welcome break from the other stresses of life. These will return tomorrow when I travel to watch Bath City play Team Bath, while closely following the Leeds score via my mobile phone. Then on Wednesday, more stress will be bestowed upon me, when I return to work. It makes you happy to be alive.