As I have mentioned on my blog in the past, the lawn outside the front of our house is a mess. The grass is overgrown and there are lots of weeds. Now it is autumn, the place looks even worse, as the tree has also shed its leaves, which have started to rot into the long grass, in an ugly pile of untidy shite, which is bringing down the previously pleasant image of the street and no doubt causing our neighbours to resent us.
If our neighbours didn’t resent us before, they will now, as next to the balding tree, are mushrooms – lots and lots of mushrooms. I don’t know where they have come from and I only noticed their existence yesterday. I’m not even sure they are mushrooms, they could be toadstools. I’m certainly not prepared to start eating them to find out if they either
a) taste delicious in an omelette
or
b) kill me
I was going to take a photo of them on my phone, so I could put them on my blog, in the hope that some kind soul would identify them for me, or at least tell me how the bloody hell I can get rid of them. However, just before stepping out the front door, to take a snap of them, I saw an elderly man walking down the road. If I was to start taking photos, he would either
a) Think I was weird, which, to be fair, he would be right
or
b) Ask me to get rid of the mess, which would greatly inconvenience me
or
c) Think I was growing magic mushrooms, call the police, and get me thrown into prison with Peter Barlow
I might ask the local pizza shop to see if they can identify them for me. Or perhaps one of the Super Mario Brothers. I’ll try to get a photo in the next few days. Hopefully fungus won’t have taken over the whole lawn by that point.
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