Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on February 17, 2020 at 9:18 am in The Roman Chalice with No Comments

All good runs must come to an end. They had a surprisingly good innings, but Newcastle United relinquished the Roman Chalice yesterday.

The Magpies took the honour from Rochdale in an FA Cup tie, before managing to keep a tight grip on the trophy for 33 days. In this time, they successfully defended the Chalice against five teams.

This was until Sunday, when they travelled to London and faced Arsenal. While in the Capital, Newcastle surrendered the only trophy won by the club in 65 years.

You would like to think that the Georgies had put up a fight and bravely defended the Chalice right until the end.

For the first 45 minutes of the football match, they did. The scoreline was 0-0 at halftime. Sadly for the Toon Army, the valiant display didn’t last and they lost 4-0!

Arsenal are now the current holders of the Chalice. They are the first winners of the trophy to also compete in a European competition. On Thursday, Arsenal will take on Olympiacos in the Europa League.

Should Arsenal lose, the Chalice will leave English soil and be up for grabs by Greek football teams! Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins will be outraged!

Posted by sean on February 16, 2020 at 9:50 am in Roman's Album with No Comments

Look at this cutie.

Like butter wouldn’t melt…

Roman may have the face of an angel, but has behaved like a little demon!

He’s determined to destroy our front room table leg…

Posted by sean on February 15, 2020 at 11:02 pm in Health with No Comments

I have had a fantastic day! After over three months of turmoil, pain and being confined to my bed, I finally feel like I am on the path to recovery and can see an end to my personal hell.

This week, I have been trying to aid my recovery, by attempting to get out of bed and independently stand. This has often been a struggle. Spending three months in a bed would be enough to leave anyone deconditioned.

With help from Claire, I have been able to get out of bed, and for a brief period, maintain a standing position most days. I feel like each time I repeat this exercise, I have been able to progress a bit further than on previous attempts.

Today was my best effort to date. For the first time since my accident in November, I was able to get myself out of bed and comfortably stand for half a minute. This may not sound like much, but for somebody who has spent a quarter of a year primarily on his back, this was a massive step forward.

My biggest accomplishment of the day was yet to come. I have been able to sit downstairs on the sofa for a few weeks now. I generally try to do this a few times a week, and spend two or three hours at a time, in the front room.

Today I spent the afternoon on the sofa. This was no two hour visit, though. I was downstairs for six hours. I ate lunch, spent time with Roman and Claire, watched Soccer Saturday, and even found the time to rub my wife’s leg with the back-scratcher. It was just like old times.

I felt incredible. Claire also remarked how I looked like my old-self. This was intended as a compliment! I was so chilled, relaxed and pain free. The only stress I felt was following the Leeds game, but even they won. I was left feeling very happy indeed.

While I am very pleased and proud of myself, I also feel indebted to Claire. Without her love, support and patience, I would not have been able to achieve any of this today. Who knows where I would be. Best not to think about it.

Anyway, I wanted to remain downstairs for tea. Claire had bought one of those Mark’s and Spencer ‘Dine In’ meals, to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Granted, we are one day late, but whatever – my wife and I love each other very much. We certainly don’t need an anniversary of some Saint, in order to enjoy a romantic dinner… although we will still buy cards and food promotions in his name.

Sadly, eating downstairs was not possible. As mentioned in a previous blog post, this weekend has seen the country ‘gripped’ by Storm Dennis. Personally, I think it is something about nothing. I am sure that naming a storm is a new thing. While unpleasant, the weather is just wet and windy.

Despite Storm Dennis being as entertaining as Les Dennis, Claire and I were concerned when the ceiling lights started to flicker. My Dad recently fitted some long life bulbs for us. You know the kind – the ones that claim to last for so long, that they will outlive anyone who makes use of them.

The fact that they had started to flicker was therefore a tad concerning. I was worried that despite being as impotent as a 100-year-old monk, following a lifetime of celibacy, Storm Dennis was about to cause a powercut.

A powercut is bad news in our household. Not only would it prevent Claire from watching the Liverpool game on television, worse still, I would be trapped downstairs as my stair lift runs on electricity, and sadly not magic spells and wishes.

We whizzed upstairs as fast as the stair lift could take me. 43 seconds. Incidentally, it takes 50 seconds to go down, which I find strange. For some reason, I just assumed it would be faster going down, what with gravity. In case you were wondering, yes, I have used the stopwatch on my mobile phone, to time how long it takes. Saddo.

There was no powercut, which meant that Claire was able to watch Liverpool win. Blessed with electricity, she was also able to cook our Valentine’s Day meal.

I ate mine upstairs in bed. Claire stayed downstairs, eating hers while watching The Masked Singer. Based on the choice of television on offer, I was more than happy to remain in the bedroom.

Now that I know what I am capable of, I am planning on spending a large part of Sunday on the sofa. That is unless Storm “Les” Dennis has a say in the matter…

Posted by sean on February 15, 2020 at 9:45 am in Weather with No Comments

With the puddles of Storm Ciaira barely evaporated from our streets, another is on the way.

Thankfully for me – a blogger of pointless waffle – Mother Nature’s latest hissy fit has been named Storm Dennis.

The good thing about that is unlike ‘Ciaira’, there are many famous people named Dennis…


  • One is a little rodent with sharp teeth. The other was my pet hamster. Boom!



  • Presented Family Fortunes in ye olde days, before Vernon Kay.
  • Gail Platt’s bit on the side. I haven’t watched Coronation Street for years, so for all I know, his character could be dead.


DENNIS (The Menace)

  • The chubby blonde with the pig nose had his own TV show. I watched it as a child. Weekend mornings on Channel 4.
  • After years of mental torment, drove his neighbour, Mr Wilson, to an early grave.
  • The black haired Dennis with a dog, was a lead character in The Beano – a popular comic in the 20th century. A bit like The Sun, but for more advanced readers.
  • ‘Beano Dennis’ was known as “The Menace”, although should have been “The ASBO”, as some of his menacing was borderline GBH.
  • His dog, Gnasher, would have been euthanised under the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991.
  • Nowadays, both Blondy and ASBO would be ‘on the spectrum’.

Time will tell if Storm Dennis will be as weak and disappointing as Les, or as violent and wild as ‘Beano Dennis’.

Based upon the way these storms are named, the next one will be a girl’s name, beginning with ‘E’.

To help me do another blog of celebrity namesakes, I’ll be hoping for Storm Emma – although it will probably be something like Storm Eglantine.

Posted by sean on February 14, 2020 at 7:01 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments




Valentine’s Day 2020. The 12th time that I have celebrated the day with Claire, and the 5th occasion as a married couple.

This is the part of my blog where I write something

a) romantic
b) soppy
c) cringeworthy

depending on the reader’s opinion.

Those of you who are single or in relationships exceeding 25 years, will no doubt choose ‘b’ or ‘c’. Don’t believe me? Take a look at whatever I blog on 14th February 2033.

Anyway, back to the serious stuff…

It’s been another year spent with my incredible wife.

Many romantic couples tell of loving their other half “to the moon and back”. Well, I love my wife to the end of the universe and back. The universe is constantly expanding, as is my love for Claire… and I really mean that.

Claire is an amazing wife. She clearly holds undying love for me, as well as being kind, caring and supportive.

As anyone who knows us, or simply reads my blog, will know, life has been tough for us over the past 18 months or so.

While the challenges we faced may have tested the endurance of some couples, we found that our love and marriage was actually strengthened.

I can say with total honesty, that a day doesn’t go by when I don’t remind myself just how lucky I am to be married to Claire. This is often when I wake up in the morning or middle of the night, and see my beautiful wife sleeping peacefully by my side.

I love you Mrs. K.

  • About Me

    So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?

    If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.

    However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.

    You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.

    All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
  • Archives