Posted by sean on June 5, 2006 at 9:05 pm in Big Brother with No Comments


What a frustrating episode of Big Brother this evening. A waste of my time watching the show, a waste of electricity used on my television and a waste of air space to send the signal to my satellite dish.

The vast majority of the episode was spent on a “He-said, She-said” argument about some pointless comment made towards that Scottish housemate Sam.

I cannot see myself lasting the remainder of the series. Already I am not really watching it. When it’s on I find myself listening to music with the TV on mute, browsing the net or blogging about how crap BB actually is.

The only comical highlight of the evening was poor little Welsh boy Glynn finally discovering life without his mother “I’ve finally learned how to boil an egg”. He is still struggling to wash his clothes using the BB washing machine. Maybe they don’t have washing machines in Wales, I didn’t see any when I went to Cardiff last month. Maybe they just wash in sheep dip?

Those unhappy with that last comment can send their moans to complaints@sparkster.net where I’ll happily redirect any issues to this brick wall…

Posted by sean on May 27, 2006 at 1:13 pm in Big Brother with No Comments


Sometimes I wish I could go into the Big Brother house. Not as a contestant, I respect myself too much for that, besides which I don’t think I could mentally take the madness.

No, I would like to go in and introduce some sense into the house. For the last few days we have had morons moaning about bottled water, missing suitcases, makeup remover and how the rules are unfair. They mope around the house crying and threatening to walk if their demands are not met.

If I was in the house and some wet blanket started crying to me about wanting to leave, instead of giving sympathy like the other housemates have done, I would pack their bags, open the door and kick them up the stairs.

I can’t be doing with these whinge bags who just moan and moan about fuck all, especially when there are so many real problems in the world. You don’t like tap water Nikki? Go and drink what they have to put up with in Ethiopian. Bitch.

Then we had Dawn, cheating cow communicating with the outside world. When being told by BB what she had done wrong, instead of sitting down and listening like a good little girl, she hid from the camera and spouted “shut up” repeatedly. No Dawn, you shut up you fat slag! You broke the rules, the whole world isn’t out to get you and “bring you down”, accept it, now leave through the backdoor and never appear on television again.

That Richard is coming across as one of the most despicable humans beings you could possible meet. His treatment of Shabaz was horrible, his sly comments are malicious. The man behaves like a bitching school girl and dresses like somebody from The Village People. Really hope he gets a round of boos when he gets evicted. A round of boos and then falls down the stairs.

All these housemates are worrying how the evil media will portray them. I know the papers can be cruel but anything nasty written about this current lot is fully deserved. They’re all a bunch of annoying twats. Annoying twats I will continue to watch every night at 9 on Channel 4.

Posted by sean on May 25, 2006 at 5:01 pm in Big Brother with No Comments


I have been watching Big Brother, even though I haven’t made a blog entry since the start of the series. This mainly being because the housemates trapped in the giant goldfish bowl haven’t done much!

Last night’s episode was a little distressing. Over the past few days the housemates have all been grouping together against Shabaz, a Scottish Gay Muslim, who hasn’t worked for 21 years.

Anyway, as with every series of Big Brother there is teasing, bitching and fights, but the behaviour from the housemates in last nights episode was nothing short of cruelty. They locked him in the garden where they then ridiculed and taunted him from behind closed doors. It is no surprise that a devastated Shabaz left soon afterwards, driven out of the show by thoughtless morons.

Now I admit, Shabaz hasn’t been a saint. In fact he has been a Grade ‘A’ Wanker who had treated most of the housemates like shit, but it was still very unnerving to watch a human being being put through such torment in front of millions of viewers.

I occasionally vote for who I want to win the series or get evicted. After last night they’re all as bad as each other in my eyes and all deserve to lose. I am not funding their prize money by ringing the premium rate hotline to take part in the voting process.

Posted by sean on May 18, 2006 at 6:15 pm in Big Brother with No Comments


Big Brother is back. I don’t know which series they’re up to now, is it the 78th? It certainly feels like that.

The show is like a one legged woman hopping down the high street. You know that you shouldn’t watch but you can’t help but take a look.

I must admit I have watched every series, even though I haven’t always made it to the end. Normally I find that by the final week any character with a shred of decency and entertainment has been kicked out so that some high pitched, annoying, hair dresser can win.


This grassman in the BB house will probably have more personality than most of the contestants

I don’t know who will be surrendering their dignity and entering the house tonight, however I do hear that some of the tabloid papers have leaked details of the contestants, although not being a masochist I avoid The Sun and News of the World.

You can almost predict which fools will enter the house tonight though…

They’ll be a man, who will boast that he is the biggest bitch anybody has ever seen. He will say that he doesn’t give a fuck what people say to or think of him. This contestant is normally brought to a blubbering wreck when a housemate he secretly fancies ignores him and cops off with the fit blonde.

There’s always some fit, tall blonde. She’ll promise to get her tits out but when inside the house will remain more covered up than a Nun in a straightjacket. One night she’ll get steaming drunk after consuming two glasses of wine, strip off in the rain and stick a banana in every hole available. She’ll then regret the whole thing in the morning (and for the rest of her life).

There’s always a 55 year old accountant who only really went on the show so that he could “learn about the youth of today” and “teach Britain’s future a thing or two about class and decency”. He’ll end up going to bed at 7pm and weeping in the Diary Room.

Other predictable guesses for housemates include…

– An asylum seeker
– A university lecturer who hates asylum seekers
– A lager lout who promises (in his own words) to “bone all da birds” and make the house wild.
– An overly-camp hairdresser
– A stripper
– An admin assistant
– A homosexual
– Somebody who hates homosexuals and wants them all shot.

We’ll wait and see, I bet most of my guesses are correct!

Posted by sean on January 18, 2006 at 11:14 pm in Big Brother with No Comments


I’ve had to stop watching Celebrity Big Brother. It is so boring I think I may start vomiting blood if I watch anymore. I didn’t watch it last night due to football, didn’t both to record it and didn’t watch it tonight. I can’t see myself wasting any of my time with the remainder of the current series.

The house is full of boring, self-obsessed celebrities who are no good at singing/acting/or whatever the hell they do in the normal world. They are equally as pathetic in the house. So unless anything major takes place (e.g. a death) I won’t be tuning back in. Bring back John McCririck and Jackie Stallon!

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