If you have read a news story or article online recently, chances are that the website had a fairly large number of adverts – unless you were on BBC.co.uk.

Like most normal people, you will have ignored the advertisements. At worst you may have cursed them for being too intrusive. You certainly wouldn’t have clicked on them or even remembered the nature of the spam.

I don’t like or pay attention to site spam either, but will admit to noticing a familiar trend with one set adverts.

A peculiar looking man, most likely in his seventies, frequently appears when I am attempting to read about the latest stupid thing Donald Trump has said, or which Premier League football player has impregnated which member of the Geordie Shore cast. Don’t be alarmed, I would never choose to read about the latter, so please don’t lose respect for me!

Back to the odd-looking pensioner. Do you recognise this man?

No?

What about if we gave him a bit of paper (to me, resembling a medical prescription) to hold?

Surely you recognise the chap now? Even with the hand, which almost certainly isn’t his own.

If he still appears unfamiliar, have a browse through the Independent website. He frequently appears in the footer of pages there.

Here he is again. By the looks of things, this time in London.

He is accompanied by headlines like ‘UK Seniors Over 50 Are Rushing To Claim This New Benefit’.

I must admit to finding the headline amusing. Many of my relatives, including parents, are older than fifty and would probably not appreciate being referred to as ‘senior’.

I can only laugh so much at that, though. In little over twelve years, according to the advertisers, I’ll be considered senior too.

You never know, like the strange old man, I could be all over the internet in 2032. My presence alone could ruin your online experience, with cheap and tacky content, on every website you visit. At the moment, you only get that when you read my blog!

You will probably be unsurprised to know, that I didn’t click on the original advertisement. There is one obvious reason for this. I’m not over fifty.

I am sure the advert is genuine and our wonderful Tory government have introduced a great new benefit, guaranteed to make everyone born before 1970 richer. Especially poor, vulnerable or disabled seniors – they’ll get ten times as much.

It’s not just benefits this old man is advertising. He must be in a great mood! According to another headline he has lent his face to, ‘People Born 1948-1979 With No Life Insurance Are Celebrating’.

Celebrating what? Being old? Being irresponsible to their loved ones? I am disappointed. Being born in 1982, I only just miss out on that one. Plus, I took out life insurance when I bought my house. No champagne for me. Booo!

You’ll be very relieved to read that I have almost finished this somewhat strange blog post.

Before I wrap it up, I need to report my concerns. While on some website the other day, I saw this…

It’s a new old man! Coincidentally, in the same spot of London as the previous gentleman and coincidentally, also celebrating his unwise decision, to avoid taking out any form of life insurance.

Mind you, looking at this one, I would say he was born before 1948. Either that, or he’s a 26 year old from Middlesbrough, who has had a very hard life.

What’s more worrying, is that I haven’t seen the original man advertising anything for a few weeks. I hope that nothing bad has happened to him, leading to the even older, flat cap wearing pensioner taking his job.

If something truly horrible has happened, I can only pray that he had life insurance. If not, his wife will be anything but celebrating!

After managing to stay well-behaved and on Santa’s nice throughout the year, I have fallen at the final hurdle!

With all good intentions, I wrote a blog post about Ray – a Leeds United fan from the television series, The Undateables.

My innocent post included a clip of Ray meeting some of the Leeds players – a Christmas present, organised by his girlfriend, which is something I am not at all envious of…

No sooner had I uploaded the short video clip from the series to my YouTube account, this email dropped into my inbox…

Oh no!

Given that the email arrived as soon as the video had uploaded, I am willing to guess that some clever bot – presumably Robocop – detected the crime and grassed me up to Santa.

I have six days to make amends for my frightful behaviour – that is unless Robocop doesn’t find me first and chucks me into a filthy, high-security jail.

Psst! Between you and me – and certainly not Father Christmas, Robocop or the CEO of Channel 4 television – here is the video I could not upload to YouTube.

Before anyone adds me to the Naughty List for the next 500 years, please take note that the video in my link, is actually on some random Twitter account – so no bad behaviour committed by me this time…

UPDATE
After writing all of this spiel, it appears that the YouTube video, which had originally been blocked, is now working. Talk about wasting my time. I assume this means that I’m off the Naughty List?

A Twitter account recently posted screenshots of political party websites from 1996.

As someone who took up an interest in web design that same year (as you can tell, I was one of the cool kids), many elements of these websites look very familiar!

I love the use of frames and really hope that there is an embedded MIDI file, playing some tacky music – perhaps The Lighthouse Family on the Labour page?

Sadly, not one of the websites appear to use animated GIFs, or make use of a hit counter and guest book.

You can always rely upon the internet to find weird stuff. This afternoon, I discovered a video of a chef preparing, what can only be described as a steak, covered in gold. Yes, gold – as in the precious metal. Not Terry’s All Gold chocolate, Thatchers Gold cider or Nescafe Gold Blend coffee – all three of which, would have made more sense than covering a perfectly good steak (for non-veggies) in Au.

I feel that I should point out that this video was posted on social media, by a professional football player.

Assuming that it was taken by the footballer himself, and not shamefully stolen (like I have done for this blog post), it simply enforces the suggestion that these ‘professionals’ are paid far too much.

What’s for dessert? A chocolate covered faberge egg?

Finally, I must admit to being impressed with the manner in which the chef, elegantly flicks salt onto his culinary work – assuming he has washed his arms and elbow, as well as his hands. I might try the same with my fries, next time I’m in McDonalds.

It’s a shame that being a vegetarian, I will never be able to try this steak *.

I wonder if they offer a Quorn version…

* the fact that I’m a veggie – plus the small matter of not being a millionaire, with more money than sense.