JURASSIC PARK
I know last week I said I would be boycotting the Jurassic Park Blu-ray boxset until a single disc with just the first movie was released. However, following an online Tesco shop, I was outraged to find the delivery driver had slipped the boxset into my shopping, alongside my Monster Munch and Uncle Ben’s Microwave Rice. I was going to call up and complain. However, while reaching for the telephone, I tripped, accidentally opened the boxset packaging, only for the disc to fall into my PlayStation 3 and start playing. Don’t think I can return it now. Damn you, Tesco!

CRAPTOP
My laptop is crap. It is old. Far too old. If it was a human it would have died of natural causes a long time ago, been burnt and be sitting in an urn next to my telly and Freeview box. Instead it is still going. Being kept alive by an AC power supply. I installed the latest version of AVG antivirus on it yesterday. The software basically put the laptop into a coma. It wouldn’t do anything. I’ve taken AVG off now and am running it without any protection, which is a bit scary. Anything could happen. The laptop could become pregnant or catch crabs. I think it’s time to get a new laptop and make the one I am blogging on now go the way of Sir Jimmy Savile… too soon?

THE CURSE OF BATH CITY
I’m seriously considering not going to watch Bath City away any more. Not because they’re having a crap season, but because I am a jinx. I have been to loads of away games this season and haven’t seen one win. I felt ill on Saturday, so missed the FA Cup game away to Dover. In my absence, Bath City won. I suspect my intimidating presence on the terraces must put the players off their game and cause them to lose. Either that or I could be inadvertently cursing them like a gypsy. I don’t think I’m a gypsy. Saying that, I do like the smell of heather and have always held a secret desire to own a caravan. I could be a gypsy and not even know it. Who else have I cursed? The next away game is also in the FA Cup – Dagenham & Redbridge. The only thing I know about Dagenham is that Stacey Solomon comes from there, so suspect all the fans to be very bubbly, sing a lot and eat jungle insets.