Posted by sean on March 22, 2019 at 11:45 pm in Have I Got News For You with No Comments

Today, I heard the news about this tragic death

A fascist spokesperson from the manufacturers said

Sweet tastes and trends change over the years and Tooty Frooties have become much less popular in the decades since their launch.

In 2019, people prefer the jelly and foamy sweets you find in Rowntree’s Randoms and that’s why we’ve decided to concentrate on new products under the Randoms brand.

What the actual fudge? You mean to tell me that you’re scrapping Tooty Frooties, in order to focus on Randoms? Which, by the way, as a sweets fan, I find pretty shit.

I hope that this is a clever marketing move, to bring TFs back in 6 months time, in the hope that people will buy them more. I refuse to stoop that low. If that happened, I would boycott the sweets. Who am I kidding? I’d buy them by the bucketload.

Clearly, upon hearing the news, opportunists, or as I like to call them “sweetie touts”, have started selling bags online, for extortionate prices.

You may think that this eBay listing is expensive. It was one of the cheap ones. Look how much the bags are selling for in America…

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