Cuddles on the sofa
and if that wasn’t sweet enough…
I have spotted a job which I think I would be prefect for…
Just look at the salary!
It sounds interesting too…
Basically, I’ll be getting paid to tweet!
I’ll probably have to use Facebook too, but every job has its downsides.
It takes me about 10 minutes to get from my house to my work at the moment. 10 minutes! Literally from my front door to my work desk.
The new position will involve a slightly longer commute. While my current job is round the corner from home, this new one is in London – over 100 miles away.
I have worked out that’ll take me 28 hours 15 minutes to get to my new office, in Buckingham Palace. I suppose this means that I may need to sacrifice my lie-in, which I currently enjoy on most days. Did I mention that my means of transportation is a mobility scooter?
There is a lot to think about… I quite like the idea of working for a woman… being a supporter of equal opportunities and all that… will I have to pay the congestion charge for my scooter?… I’m a bit scared of riding along the M4… I wonder if the Queen will pay me cash in hand… then my pay will have may boss’ face on it. Nice.
If I decide to apply for the job as the Queen’s blogger/tweeter/nerd, I’ll let you know.
Should I decide to reject the offer from the Palace, I can think of someone else out of work, who enjoys tweeting…
If watching Leeds get knocked out of the play offs last night, wasn’t enough to reduce me to a quivering wreck, the sight of a devastated Pontus Jansson broke me.
A grown man crying. It’s enough to make a grown man cry.
Poor Pontus. I hear he is still sat inthe same spot right now.
I’ve said it time and time again – primarily when blogging about Leeds United – but I hate being right all the time.
Here are the comments I made at the weekend, after Leeds beat Derby County in the 1st Leg of the Play Off Semi Final…
No doubt it’ll all end in misery for Leeds fans on Wednesday, when Derby visit Elland Road, for the second leg, of these horrendous play offs…
Lampard is a ‘dead cert’ to beat Leeds and reach Wembley, so that he can face his former Chelsea Chum and all round disgusting human being, John Terry, who is currently involved with Aston Villa…
It was the all-important second leg tonight. Guess what happened?
I’ll give you a clue…
Derby are known as ‘The Rams’. One would assume that their nickname was inspired by a particularly brave, plucky sheep.
After Saturday, it looked like Leeds fans would be dining out on lamb chops…
Not one piece of mutton will be passing my lips – and not just because I am a veggie.
The reason why The Rams won’t become chops, is because they turned themselves around and devoured every single one the Leeds United players…
RECONSTRUCTION
What I am trying to say, and please excuse my language, is that Leeds fucked themselves over.
They got beat and became the first team to lose the Play Offs, after winning the first leg away from home. Or something like that. Ask a football stato, like Des Lynnam.
If ever there is a team to break a football record, for all the wrong reasons, you can always depend on Leeds. The bastards.
Good luck to Derby in the final. They were by far the better team in the second half of tonight’s game.
I even hope they proceed to win the final and get promoted. I’m sure you all think that I am showing great sportsmanship; but in all honesty, I just want Aston Villa – who employee the odious John Terry – to lose.
Are people really surprised about a guest on the Jeremy Kyle Show killing themselves?
Nobody will deny that it is anything but an awful tragedy, but the only surprise for me is that something like this hasn’t happened sooner.
I will shamefully admit that I occasionally watched the show. I would even laugh at the angry druggies, who hadn’t worked a single day in their life.
Why the change of heart? While I have certainly grown more left-wing, over the past decade, I have also grown up – allowing myself to realise that the show’s guests need help, not ridicule.
Mercifully, in recent years, I realised the show is disgusting. It is now clear to me that many of the guests appear vulnerable and are taken advantage of, in the name of “entertainment”.
I despise the host. Kyle is a bully, who should learn a thing or two about people living in glass houses and throwing stones. You can rely on him, to fire a degrading, patronising comment, in the direction of a guest – always from behind the safety of his burly security guards.
I thought bear-baiting had been abolished centuries agol. The cruel, bloodsport is evidently still very popular… although the abomination is currently suspended from ITV – hopefully for good!
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
