Last night, I had a bizarre dream. I am aware this is the second one in the space of a few weeks. Maybe I should lay off the BabyBel before bed.

This dream was totally different to the one from last month, which involved me attempting to configure Amazon Prime on a Smart TV.

Gabrielle may have once sung how “dreams can come true”, but in this instance, they definitely won’t.

I dreamt that I had discovered the football manager, David Moyes, had been responsible for the kidnapping of Madeleine McCann.

Now, before I write any further, I would like to get one thing straight.

I know that a lot of sick jokes have been made about the child’s disappearance in 2007.

I am also aware that David Moyes is often the victim of a lot of football “banter” (I hate that word).

Unlike the McCann jokes, which are always unacceptable, I have seen some very humorous material online, made at poor Dave’s expense.

This blog post is recounting a strange dream I had. It is not an attempt to, in any way, laugh at or upset David Moyes.

Dreams are not real. If they were, I would own Leeds United, keep thousands of bunnies and frequently crash canal boats.

Confused? Study this.

Understand now? Good.

David Moyes did not kidnap Madeleine McCann… although he did in my dream…  but that wasn’t real.

You may be wondering who the slightly balding, bespectacled gentleman in the photo is.

This is the hero behind Leeds United’s rival – Marcelo Bielsa. I may have mentioned him on here once or twice… OK, maybe a bit more than that.

In my dream about David Moyes and Madeleine McCann (remember, a DREAM, not REAL), upon my discovery of the kidnapping, I ran to alert Bielsa, who, presumably was some sort of detective.

The fact I could run, just shows how unreal my dream was – not to mention the fact that Marcelo had somehow become some kind of Sherlock Holmes.

I cannot recall if or how David Moyes was apprehended, although I do know that I had to ride a zipwire.