Posted by sean on December 25, 2005 at 10:31 pm in Christmas, Ventures Outside Of Bath with No Comments

Christmas Day, supposedly a holiday and a day of relaxation, why is it then that no matter how much or how little you do you feel so knackered at the end of the day?

This afternoon I went to see friends in Bristol. One friend of mine is setting up an internet café and is living out the back of the shop. A lot of work has been carried out over the last few months, from the looks of things by very slow builders. While the rear of the shop is ok it still looks unfinished.

Part of the shop rear complete with a cardboard makeshift door

Where we ate, drank and watched TV
DanInTheMix is on the sofa

I was served turkey for Christmas Dinner, not in the traditional format with potatoes, gravy, sprouts, etc. It was turkey curry, different but still very nice all the same.

I’m off to Yorkshire in the morning to watch Super Leeds United take on the Mighty Coventry City at Elland Road. Will blog tomorrow or Tuesday about what I got for Christmas (Sony NWA3000 Walkman – nice) and what else I got up to, off to bed now as I am very tired and have to set off early in the morning for a long drive up north.

Posted by sean on December 23, 2005 at 11:13 pm in Funny Things with No Comments

I have been watching some of Jimmy Carr’s material recently. Very funny stuff, I hadn’t seen much of him before, only on those Channel 4 adverts and making guest appearances on shows like Have I Got News For You. Then last Friday Channel 4 aired one of his stand up shows, thought it was so funny I ordered his new DVD (Jimmy Carr Stand Up) which I have watched twice already, once last night and again with a friend this evening.

It’s easy to do an impression of Jimmy.
Just talk in a posh, fast and quite voice.

In a similar manner to Peter Kay or Dave Spikey (other favourites of mine), Carr’s humour focuses on issues his audience can all relate to. That however is the only similarity to the Phoenix Nights duo. Carr is a lot more crude, blunt and to the point.

His interaction with the crowd, especially those (un)fortunate enough to be sitting on the front row is quality making up some of the best moments of this show. I would really like to see him live when he tours again although personally would make a good attempt to hide away from him and the bunt of his jokes, hopefully get a seat behind a long tall pillar, or a big fat person.

I highly recommend you see this DVD, it is just so funny. If you are given it for Christmas you are in for a treat.

Here is just a few of the jokes featured on the DVD. I will say, unlike a lot of acts Jimmy Carr isn’t just about jokes and gags. There is so much more to his performances, so even if these don’t make you laugh you should still check out his disc.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Being raped

I was asked to judge Mr. Gay UK.
He’s against nature, he’s against God and he’s going to Hell.

I broke up with a girl once because she lied about her weight.
She died in a bungee jumping accident.

On Remembrance Sunday do spare a thought for the German ex-servicemen.
At least our old soldiers are remembering winning.

Two things you should always leave on overnight – fridges and life support machines.
If not you’ll lose an awful lot of vegetables.

Posted by sean on December 20, 2005 at 11:06 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

I sustained a terrible injury at work today. There was panic, pain and gore… paper cuts can really be horrific.

My cut made an awful mess

Anybody who has every had a paper cut will know it is one of those things that shouldn’t really hurt much but bloody well does. The thought of the wound is often a lot worse than the injury itself, looking at the slit in my hand and feeling the two torn pieces of skin rubbing together made me feel sick. My office didn’t even have any plasters so I had to last the rest of the day and make it home carrying along a war wound.

It is now over six hours later and while the bleeding has long since stopped the skin hasn’t healed. I do expect it to heal on its own, no need for stitches although I have some vodka, cotton and a needle to hand should I need to perform emergency surgery on myself.

The paper which cut me!!!

Health and safety in the workplace focus on so many areas nowadays, trailing wires, hazardous Christmas lights, hot drinks. No safety inspector has ever recognised the danger of a common piece of A4 paper – lethal!

Posted by sean on December 13, 2005 at 10:03 pm in Television with No Comments

I’ve been watching Space Cadets on Channel 4 the last few days. For those not in the know a group of normal people are tricked that they are being sent into space as part of a reality TV show. Instead they are being filmed in a simulator in the countryside just outside of Ipswich.

Today they saw earth from space, well what they thought was earth. It was actually an image projected onto a screen (probably the wallpaper off somebody’s computer).

Something which I find very amusing is the Russian Captain onboard. He is really an English actor employed as part of the scam. His Russian accent is just hilarious and I’ve seen enough Bond films to know what a Russian sounds like. This guy sounds EXACTY like Chelsea’s Portuguese manager José Mourinho.

Here is the “Russian” Captain and here is José. Can you tell them apart? It’s tricky isn’t it!

Posted by sean on December 12, 2005 at 10:16 pm in Football with No Comments

A recent news story about Wayne Rooney made me laugh. His fiancée Coleen McLoughlin is making a TV Show. In the show she mentions Rooney’s weight…

According to one newspaper she said: “They all think Wayne’s a big fat person and eats burgers every day, which he’s not, and I don’t know where they get it from. “

well… football fans have eyes, they can see he’s fat

she added “It does my head in because people really believe that. His favourite food is lettuce. He loves salad.”

Yeah, salad as long as it’s in a burger bun :o)

Wonder if Wayne wishes Coleen will spend more time in Miss Selfridge and less time talking to the media. The documentary entitled Coleen’s Secrets is due to be aired on Channel 5 (or Five as they now call themselves) soon. I won’t be holding my breath for any quality though. Sunderland have more chance of winning The Premiership than Coleen’s Secrets has of winning Documentary of the Year.

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