Part 2 of my blog about last weekend, and don’t be expecting a Charles Dickens tale as I’ve left it late again and I’m tired.
After the meal debacle of the previous evening, it was a trip to Boreham Wood to watch Bath City. The trip to Meadow Park, home of “The Wood” was significant for me, for the fact that it was the 100th football ground I had visited. Here’s the full list of those attended…
Elland Road, Madejski Stadium, St. Mary’s, Ashton Gate, Twerton Park, Millennium Stadium, Home Park, Cossham Street, Lodge Road, The Conigre, Hayes Lane, York Road, Park View Road, City Ground, Nywood Lane, Treyew Road, West Leigh Park, Spytty Park, Hardenhuish Park, Hand Stadium, Whaddon Road, The Dripping Pan, Avenue Stadium, Woodspring Stadium, Silverlake Stadium, Gander Green Lane, Ship Lane, Wembley Stadium, Clarence Park, Church Road, The Playing Fields (Shepton Mallet), Beveree Stadium, Champion Hill, The Camrose
Still with me?
Cressing Road, Huish Park, Priory Lane, Woodside Park, Athletic Field, St. George’s Lane, The Tannery, Melbourne Stadium, Badgers Hill, Plainmoor, The Recreation Ground, Kingsmeadow, Bescot Stadium, Villa Park, Supermarine Stadium, New Lawn Stadium, The Crabble, Silver Street, Kayte Lane, The Wessex Stadium, Blundell Park, Wheatsheaf Park, Kingfield Stadium, Oaklands Park
* BREATH *
The Sports Ground, Broadfield Stadium, The Lamb Ground, Highbury Stadium, Abbey Stadium, Southfields Recreation Ground, Bootham Crescent, Kenilworth Road, Haig Avenue, Bridge Road, Racecourse Ground, Darlington Arena, Moss Lane, Aggborough, Rockingham Road, Holker Street, Field Mill, Penydarren Park, Raymond McEnhill Stadium, Plain Ham, New Bucks Head, Sincil Bank, Wordsworth Drive, Victoria Road, Longwell Green Community Centre, Nene Park, Lew Hill Memorial Ground
Not dead yet?
Edgeley Park, Ironmould Lane , North Street, Edgar Street, Homers Heath, Privett Park, Longmead Stadium, The Playing Fields (Wellington AFC), Fetcham Grove, The Meadow, New Lodge, Crown Field, Fairfax Park, The Enclosed Ground AND…. Meadow Park
So yes, I have visited 100 football grounds. To make things worse, the only people who probably give a shit have no doubt visited loads more than me and think my century is pretty pathetic.
So Boreham Wood. The hot bed of football. Renowned worldwide for its team. Or not. Upon visiting, Boreham Wood appeared to be more famous for its Elstree television studios, where Strictly Come Dancing is filmed. I will add, I am not a fan of the show at all, and on Saturday I was given more reason to dislike it, as every bar, restaurant and café on the high street close to the football ground was rammed; not with fans of sport, but fans of dance and reality television. Yup, Strictly Come Dancing audience members.
We gave up and walked to the football, haven not eaten. Luckily Boreham Wood Football Club make a delicious bacon roll, which did a good job at filling a hole in my stomach I had originally allocated for a trip to Wetherspoons.
The football. Errr… As anyone who reads my blog will know, I am a firm believer of the motto “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. Therefore my comments on Boreham Wood FC are as follows
The only thing that really matters is Bath City won. A decent goal by Andy Watkins gave The Mighty Romans all 3 points. Andy Watkins is no relation to my friend John Watkins. I know this for certain. Not because of the contrast in athletic ability, but because if Andy and John were joined by blood, Bath City’s summer signing would have scored a hat trick of own goals and ran to me, laughing in an enraging mocking fashion.
After the match, the coach took us home, but abandoned us at Twerton Park. Oh well and good, except during the morning, many of us, myself included, boarded at Odd Down – some 3 miles up a hill. We were left in the cold for half an hour for the players’ coach to arrive and transport us on the remainder of our journey. It was worth the wait. The coach was luxurious. Leather seats, more televisions on display than in Dixons and a kitchen. Yes, fucking kitchen on a coach! Somebody told me the vehicle had been used by Everton last season, so it is quite likely I sat in the same seat as Marouane Fellaini. My claim to fame. All requests for autographs can be made through my agent.
Sunday was a day of rest. Well, a day of putting up the new Christmas tree we bought from Argos a few weeks earlier. It’s one of those fibre-optic ones, so once I had wrestled it all together, jammed the legs in place and torn the branches so they stick out a bit, all I had to do was turn it on. No need for decorating. It’s all very fancy and nice. Ho ho ho and all that stuff,
Friday was my lovely fiancée, Claire’s birthday. To celebrate, we went out for a meal. I would like to say that we visited a tranquil, romantic restaurant and dined upon the finest foods that money can buy. Instead we sat on a dirty table in a corner of busy bistro pub, surrounded by screaming children.
Things didn’t go that well from the start. After finally getting to our table, the waitress said she would come back and clean it for us. She failed to return. That should have been a warning.
We waited a while for our meal, although were not without entertainment. The wall immediately next to our table was being used to screen Wallace & Gromit. After watching ‘A Close Shave’ two and a half times (on mute), the the food arrived. I had been adventurous and ordered the chicken skewers. I often worry about eating chicken, for fear of it being underdone. No chance here. The meat must have been cooked for days, as it was completely dry and tasteless. Any juices and flavours had long since been burnt away. The wooden board it was served on looked more moist.
After hacking at the dish for what seemed like an eternity, I gave up and started on the chips. I had taken so long trying to consume the inedible chicken, that the chips had gone cold. I asked for a refund, describing the dish to the poor and embarrassed waitress as “disgusting”. That’s my rant over, but a big sad face for The Lodekka ‘Hungry Horse’ pub in Bristol.
I did plan to write about my entire weekend in this one blog post, but time and tiredness have got the better of me, so I’ll be heading up to bed now. Tomorrow will be Part 2 of my weekend blog, which involves watching football, a trip to the studios of Strictly Come Dancing (kind of) and erecting a Christmas tree. Hehehe. I said erect.
It may still be November, but the neighbours have decorated the outside of their house in Christmas lights.
I would moan, but I actually quite like them, which is a little sad…
Amy Willerton (AKA Miss Bath) seems to be enjoying her stay on I’m A Celebrity, but nothing can beat meeting Scott Murray and a man dressed as a pig.
I am delighted to report that I survived the storm they called St Jude. All weekend, television reports told how wind and rain on a Bibliotic scale, would destroy the UK. I was getting ready to build an arc and collect two of every animal, apart from spiders and wasps (they can all drown). After getting more and more nervous, Monday morning arrived. The storm didn’t. Had the apocalypse not been predicted, I wouldn’t really have thought much of the weather which met me ahead of my walk to work. OK, it was a little windy and it rained, but it’s often like that. A large part of a tree did block my path to work, but I think that was cut down on purpose by a Weatherman’s Union, embarrassed by their awful, inaccurate and totally over-the-top forecast.
I have been watching a documentary series on Channel 4 where a vet travels the world, hoping to prove the existence of Bigfoot or The Yeti. Last week, he travelled to a mountain range, where he met local nut-jobs, convinced that they had encountered a hairy, giant, man-like creature. DNA was taken from hair samples and tests were run. The tests showed that the sightings were, in fact, a bear. This week, the James Herriot wannabe visited America, where you’re always guaranteed to meet weirdos. We weren’t disappointed. Again, there was lots of people who claimed to have encountered Bigfoot, but no real evidence. One man claimed to have shot the creature dead, but lost the body (yes, seriously). Another tried to convince us all that by bashing on a tree, the mythological creature would respond by hitting another tree, miles away. Like the week before, hair samples were taken. Also like the week before, tests were run. Guess what they concluded. Bears. Next week the programme goes to Russia. Want to bet the outcome of episode?
“Quite possibly the most amusing, well written and imaginative blog on the entire internet” is one endorsement that has yet to be made about my website, in which I rant and rave about everyday life, encounters with spiders and football frustrations."
Dirty Leeds fan who also supports Bath City home and away.