Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 20/02/2017 at 6:33 pm in Coffee, Work Activities with No Comments


I didn’t have the best of starts to my Monday morning. We have a new coffee machine at work, so thought I would bring in some pods from home to use. I’ve been doing this all last week, and the machine was behaving itself well. That was until this morning, when I used THREE pods and only got, what can only be described as a single shot of coffee, instead of an entire mug.

Pod #1 – Chucked into the pod graveyard (the container in the coffee machine for used pods), without even a drop of water being passed through it.

Pod #2 – Enough to make an Espresso, even though it was not an Espresso pod!

Pod #3 – Went the way of Pod #1… chucked away, without being used. By the machine, may I add, not me!

This has made me very angry. The small amount of coffee has pacified me a little, but I will be returning for more coffee soon, although this time won’t be using the fancy machine that George Clooney advertises.

In better news, I saw Sir David Attenborough trending on Twitter this morning. Whenever I see this, I can’t lie and say that I am not worried. The legend is approaching 91 years of age, after all. It was all good. Sir David will be presenting a new series of The Blue Planet. I love this natural history documentaries, so to hear that another is on its way is very pleasing. I am still awaiting a signed photo of Sir David (see earlier blog), although have received a lovely set of autographs from The Yorkshire Vet staff.

A little update on the coffee machine – I tried it again later in the day (after writing the above). The thing now leaks, and when I say leaks, I mean leaks like that incontinent old woman on Little Britain. Water went everywhere. I must have used half of a huge kitchen roll to clean it up, and given the fact I didn’t do anything to cause the leak (besides have the audacity to use the damn thing to make a cup of coffee), it’ll probably start spilling out water again! I’ve decided that from tomorrow morning, I’ll be going back to the good, old, water boiler. It may taste of lime scale, but it works! Oh, and no, I did not manage to get any coffee from the machine to accompany the leak!

Posted by sean on 09/02/2017 at 5:54 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


The other morning, I awoke to a disturbed wife. The house was in darkness. Apparently, when turning on the bathroom light, there was a big flash, followed by all of the remaining lights in the house going out. I had expereinced this problem in my old flat, so knew how to fix it. The light circuit had tripped, and just needed turning back on. I normally keep a torch by the bedside for these matters. Could I find it when I really needed it? Could I hell. Luckily, my mobile phone has a torch app. Unfortunetely, it drinks battery juice like Phil Mitchell drinks vodka. By using the phone as a torch, I might not have enough power left to call 999, should I fail to restore the lights to my house. Thankfully, I managed to haul myself out of bed, made it downstairs, got the lights working and my phone didn’t die. The bathroom light was still out, which presented an even greter problem…

I asked my DIY Man – AKA “Dad” – to come and change the light bulb. He is excellent at this kind of thing and I wouldn’t have been able to do this job. Being a shortarse 5 foot 5 and having as much balance as a one-legged horse, I didn’t really want to risk changing it myself with a stepladder, especially as the bulb is under a fragile glass dome, which would no doubt shatter into a million sharp pieces if I went anywhere near it, leading to me cutting myself, dying from blood loss and receiving a fine from the landlord for breaking his property.

My Dad managed to retrieve the bulb from behind the great glass ceiling dome. Except it wasn’t a bulb. It was a tiny tube. You know the kind you get in an office? It was like that but 100 times smaller. Where on earth could I buy one of these? One things for sure, I couldn’t buy one from my Tesco Local. I went to the shop that sells everything (apart from drugs and livestock)… Amazon.

After much thinking, I bought what I believed to be the correct bulbs, tubes, whatever… The next day, Claire rang me at work to say that they had been delivered, but they were too small! Yes, it was a tiny, tiny light tube. 1,000 times smaller than one you would find in an office! This was getting serious, there was only so long I could shower by candle light (OK, I used the landing light, with the bathroom door open). My Dad, the best handyman in the world, managed to find the required bulb in Screwfix and even fitted it for us. Everything is now working, there is now no longer a need for candles, but we do have a multipack of tiny light tubes that we’ll never need.

Posted by sean on 06/02/2017 at 6:02 pm in Leeds United with No Comments


Whoever picked the photos for this year’s Leeds United calendar needs to be sacked. Why put a Huddersfield Town player right in the centre of February. This photo was taken last year, when Leeds got beat by Huddersfield in the home game. To rub salt into the wounds, we lost to them away yesterday, and because of this calendar, I am not allowed to forget it!

Posted by sean on 21/01/2017 at 6:29 pm in Bath City, Leeds United, Life In Bath, Video Games with No Comments


… guess who forgot to pay their hosting fees? They have now been paid, but as a result, my website was down for the last two days. Did you miss anything? Unless you wanted to read stuff from the past 13 years, no. I haven’t blogged since New Year’s Day. Until now…

Since my injury, I am still using the crutch during my recovery. I have been attending Bath City home games without any difficulty, although have avoided travelling on the coach since September. Claire still goes to many of the away games. Today, Bath City were playing Oxford City. However, it was absolutely freezing everywhere. As sure as eggs are eggs, the game would be off. Did Oxford mention anything on their website or Twitter account? Did they hell. This meant Claire had to defrost her car, drive to her parents, pick them up, drive to Twerton Park, wait in the cold for the inevitable announcement that the game was off. It was. My wifey returned to me, under an hour after she left. Looking a tad pissed off and very cold indeed.

Sir David Attenborough confirms the Oxford City pitch is frozen and unplayable.

Remember when I got Grand Theft Auto 5? It was way back in 2013. I must have blogged about it. Anyway, I didn’t finish it, despite absolutely loving the series. The fact the PlayStation 3 was dying, resulting in the fan sounding like a jet engine kind of put me off playing the game. Over three years later, I am actually pleased that the PS3 did snuff it. I am finally an owner of a lush looking PlayStation 4, and guess what… GTA5 is on that too – and it looks even better than the PS3 version! I am therefore enjoying driving about Los Santos, stealing cars and killing people. It sounds atrocious, but it is the most fun since I inflicted life threatening, third degree burns on Dr Robotnik, on Sonic The Hedgehog.

Leeds are still doing worryingly well. Every time I think they’re going to slip up, they end up winning. The Mighty Whites are on Sky tonight (we’re always on Sky these days), against Barnsley. Kick off is in 11 minutes, so I had better wrap up this blog, find a few images to stick to it and upload the whole lot to WordPress.

Posted by sean on 01/01/2017 at 7:28 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


Happy New Year to all my readers. How did you spend your evening last night? Unless you are Dot Cotton, I can guarantee that it was more rock and roll than mine. We went to bed at our usual time of around half ten. Thinking about it, Dot’s evening was probably more exciting than ours – at least she was able to pop some drugs, albeit nicotine. We couldn’t even score any Ovaltine.

There were two reasons for our unfestive evening. Firstly, Claire had worked a long day at work, so was understandably shattered. Secondly, we had nothing to do. No guests. No party games. There wasn’t even anything good on the telly.

After our early night, I woke up shortly before midnight. I’d normally go straight back to sleep, but I felt I should see in the New Year, even if it was lying on a bed, in a dark room, next to a heavily sleeping wife.

Right on the stroke of midnight, the fireworks started. Lots of them. It sounded like a warzone. I am sure Ross Kemp was hiding behind a wheelie bin, somewhere in Twerton, with a film crew, reporting on all the dangerous explosions.

Why do people buy fireworks anyway? They’re very expensive and aren’t really that good. You are literally burning your money. With so many suckers putting on their own displays in their back garden, why not watch theirs for free? It’s all down to having a big ego. As I lay in my bed, it occurred to me that whoever buys fireworks, has to be the one who lets off the last one over the course of the night. After the mass of explosions had died down, occasionally you would hear a single firework bang, from one side of Weston (where I live). Moments later, another explosion from another area of the suburb. I’d like to say who won the sad ‘battle of the bangs’, but I fell asleep.

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

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