Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 20/09/2017 at 10:33 pm in Leeds United with No Comments


After bravely overcoming Burnley, last night, Leeds were in the hat for the next round of the cup.

Their opposition… Leicester City. Meh.

A good draw, really. You may have noticed we are doing rather well in the league, at the moment… this leads me onto a joke I’ll tell shortly. The fact Leeds are 1st in the league – yes, TOP – means we don’t want any distraction. Leicester are not a massive club, the game is winnable and there will be no shame should we lose.

Now my joke…

WIFE: “Have you seen the TV remote?”

HUSBAND: “It’s in the same place as Leeda”

WIFE: “Where’s that?”

HUSBAND: “On top of the table!”

Goodnight, everybody!

Posted by sean on 15/09/2017 at 8:43 am in Work Activities with No Comments


My colleagues in the neighbouring office are discussing what bird of prey is the easiest to train. 

Posted by sean on 05/09/2017 at 5:52 pm in Work Activities with No Comments


I suffered a terrible accident yesterday. I know that last sentence makes it sounds like I lost a limb. It wasn’t that bad, but not far off. When opening my backpack, to get my lunch, I discovered lots of fluid. I initially thought that my orange had gone mouldy and imploded into itself. What I discovered was a lot worse than a citrus fruit, which had gone bad. My can of cherry coke had exploded. A gaping hole on the top of the can, caused the contents to spill absolutely everywhere.

As I pulled the contents from my backpack, coke spilt everywhere – all over me, all over the desk, all over the floor. A puddle was quickly growing on the carpet, making it look like an elderly relative had paid a visit and failed to make it to the toilet in time. Luckily, all this occurred in my old team’s office, where I decided to eat my lunch that afternoon. Therefore, I avoided upsetting my new team in the neighbouring area.

To get my coke fix, I asked a colleague to buy me a bottle of drink. Remarkably, this was spilt all over my desk. when I knocked it with my arm, later that day. I think from now on I should only be allowed to drink from a baby’s beaker.

Posted by sean on 29/08/2017 at 5:54 pm in Work Activities with No Comments


The water from the taps at work is horrible. It is so clean that you can taste the chlorine. It is like drinking water from a swimming pool, except there is no child’s urine in the nasty chemical cocktail.

I have therefore invested in one of those Brita water filters. I was a tad sceptical at first, but can happily report that my ‘filter in a bottle’ is working wonders removing all the nasty flavours.

The resulting water may not be Evian – I’d have to climb a mountain and collect million year old melted snow to achieve that, but it’s certainly better than a Chlorine Martini.

The filter is a disc, which sits at the top of the bottle. When I change it, in a few weeks, I expect it to be full of chlorine. It’ll be so clean, I could drop it into a urinal, and for it to act like one of those cakes, which attempts to sterilise men’s wee wee.

Posted by sean on 29/08/2017 at 5:53 pm in Geek Stuff with No Comments


My Bank Holiday Monday afternoon was mostly spent playing Sonic the Hedgehog. As well as re-living my youth, I also completed a long overdue job. No, not make a blog post! I backed up my hard drive of DVD Rips.

Now before you all dial 999 and arrange for my house to be raided at 4am, let me make one thing clear. Every film and television episode I have on my hard drive, I own the DVD for. I don’t use torrents and I don’t shoplift from HMV. So you can forget about calling Miss Marples.

My collection of titles on the hard drive is vast, and has taken many years to obtain. Therefore, if the hard drive ever snuffed it, I’d be very sad, as would my wife, who also regularly watches films through it – and as all married men know, a happy wife is a happy husband.

I therefore spent many hours, copying the contents of my main hard drive – AKA The Beast – onto two smaller drives. All’s good. Now if The Beast ever kills itself, my couch potato’s dream can be salvaged.

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

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