Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on October 16, 2017 at 10:09 pm in Football, Television with No Comments


Tonight, was the FA Cup draw, for the first round of the competition. As is tradition, it was broadcast, live on TV, from the home of one of the smallest remaining clubs in the cup – in this case, Hyde United.

While awaiting the draw, I noticed a familiar face in the crowd…

It looks like my tweet got a positive reaction. Mind you, Justin Bieber probably gets a million tweets, simply for saying he’s off to take a dump.

Posted by sean on October 13, 2017 at 4:11 pm in Football with No Comments


This is a great headline and news story

Thieves who broke into a football stadium and stole giant TVs raided fridges to stage a food fight…

Made me think what the staff must have thought when they discovered the burglary…

“Where’s the telly?”
“It’s scone!”

Posted by sean on October 11, 2017 at 11:21 pm in England, Football with No Comments


I shouldn’t really take pleasure from the misfortunes of others, but when I saw that Wales had failed to qualify for the next World Cup, I laughed so hard, that a little bit of wee came out.

I’ve nothing against the Welsh, or their fine country. The reason their nation team’s failure gave me so much joy, is because of their mockery of England, last summer, when we were knocked out of Euro 2016.

Gareth Bale claimed no Englishmen would get into the Welsh national side (conveniently forgetting that a large number of his team were English-born). We’ll, who’s laughing now?

England are pretty useless. They will be lucky go make it through the group stage in Russia, next summer. I have little doubt that it’ll be 3 games of disappointment… but it’s 3 games more than Bale will be playing!

Posted by sean on October 10, 2017 at 1:35 pm in Funny Things with No Comments


This is brilliant…

Posted by sean on October 6, 2017 at 4:24 pm in England with No Comments


Last night, England qualified for the World Cup, by beating some team at Wembley… I think it was either Slovenia or Slovakia. It could well have been Greenland, such was my lack of interest. I watched the final five minutes. It was poor, and listening to the commentary, it sounded like the previous 85 minutes had been just as boring.

England scored in injury time, to win 1-0 and qualify for next year’s tournament in Russia. I sighed. What is the point in even going? We’ve seen it all before. England will be crap. If they do make it through the group stage, they’ll inevitably lose in the first knockout round.

Before you could call me cynical, remember – England haven’t beaten any country in a knockout stage since Ecuador in 2006. They have been beaten by Portual (twice), Germany, Italy and Iceland. Not forgetting, that in 2008, they didn’t even qualify, and in 2014, failed to make it out of their group. Not good, is it?

I am looking forward to the World Cup, but only because I will be able to watch good teams… Germany, Argentina, Brazil and Spain, amongst others (not England).

As England have absolutely no chance of winning the damn thing, why not make their visit to Russia more entertaining? Instead of taking a squad of well-known players from The Premier League, England manager, Gareth Southgate, should run a competition. Inite Sunday League and pub team players to win a place in the World Cup squad. It doesn’t matter how old, slow, alcohol dependant, or obese they are – anyone can enter, and anyone can win a place on the plane to Russia!

If the regular England squad was to play World Champions, Germany, right now, they would probably lose 5-0. If a Dog and Duck XI faced Germany, they’d probably lose 50-1. A loss is a loss, regardless of the score line. However, watching Benson and Hedges try to stop Mesut Özil from scoring would be a lot funnier than getting depressed as Gary Cahill and John Stones struggle to do the same.

I use a crutch, so there is zero chance of me running, but the thought of getting an England cap and playing against Portugal – hopefully breaking Cristiano Ronaldo’s leg with my walking aid – sound appealing. When’s training, Gaz?

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