Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on July 24, 2019 at 7:58 pm in Television with No Comments

So, this is apparently happening…

<sarcasm>Well that’s just amazing news – I am so happy!</sarcasm>

To make matters worse, 2020 will be the first year where football will stop for a while, in order to give those <sarcasm>overworked players a break from their oppressive day job.</sarcasm>

This means, not only will I have to endure that awful reality television show, but there will be no football to cheer me up.

It’ll be just like the summer – except instead of the weather being horrendously hot, it’ll be frightfully freezing.

If my old English teacher is reading this, I hope he appreciates that fantastic use of alliteration.

Posted by sean on May 30, 2019 at 11:45 pm in Television with No Comments

One of my favourite TV shows as a child, was Pingu. Who would have thought that a collection of five minute episodes, featuring a noisy plasticine penguin, would be such a success?

All the episodes are on YouTube, and I found myself reliving part of my childhood last Saturday.

The first episode I found saw Pingu misbehave during a family meal, before getting told off and a smacked bottom, for throwing food at Mummy Penguin.

As a result of the family row, Pingu runs away from home (an igloo), before predictably becoming scared and lost.

It was great.

There was no way, in the year 2019, that CBBC would show that episode now…

  • Smacking Pingu’s bum would now be classed as child abuse.
  • The food fight, worryingly identifies a broken home.
  • Pingu is clearly demonstrating a concerning level of ADHD.
  • Let’s not even go there with Pingu running away from home. Did I mention there was a happy ending back in 1990? He was given a hot drink and snuggled in the warmth and safety of mummy and daddy’s bed. A lovely end to the episode, I am sure you’ll agree. In 2019, a lost and vulnerable Pingu meets a dangerous sealion called Rolf. Let’s just say, the subsequent episodes take a turn for the worse. Instead of being shown in between Peppa Pig and Dora the Explorer, Pingu 2019 becomes a hard-hitting 3-part ITV drama on child abuse.

The point of this blog post isn’t about the fact that, despite this generation’s minors, frequently murdering prostitutes on Grand Theft Auto, political correctness would undoubtably prevent 1990s kids’ television from being shown in 2019. No – this post is a lot more serious…

What in the name of bloody hell has happened to the Pingu intro?

This is the classic Pingu, we all grew to know and love…

Here’s the modern intro…

If I ever find who is responsible for this blasphemy, I will give them such a smacked bottom!

Posted by sean on May 14, 2019 at 11:22 pm in Have I Got News For You, Television with No Comments

Are people really surprised about a guest on the Jeremy Kyle Show killing themselves?

Nobody will deny that it is anything but an awful tragedy, but the only surprise for me is that something like this hasn’t happened sooner.

I will shamefully admit that I occasionally watched the show. I would even laugh at the angry druggies, who hadn’t worked a single day in their life.

Why the change of heart? While I have certainly grown more left-wing, over the past decade, I have also grown up – allowing myself to realise that the show’s guests need help, not ridicule.

Mercifully, in recent years, I realised the show is disgusting. It is now clear to me that many of the guests appear vulnerable and are taken advantage of, in the name of “entertainment”.

I despise the host. Kyle is a bully, who should learn a thing or two about people living in glass houses and throwing stones. You can rely on him, to fire a degrading, patronising comment, in the direction of a guest – always from behind the safety of his burly security guards.

I thought bear-baiting had been abolished centuries agol. The cruel, bloodsport is evidently still very popular… although the abomination is currently suspended from ITV – hopefully for good!


Posted by sean on March 8, 2019 at 7:42 am in Television with No Comments

If you’re going to enter a general knowledge quiz – especially one on television, watched by millions of people – read an atlas beforehand…

You have to feel sorry for her…

Actually, no you don’t. She was rude, boastful and always gave far too detailed answers. Nobody likes a show off – she just needed to say A, B, C or D.

Anyway, at least she won £1,000, which after paying for her travel to and from Manchester, as well as getting her roots done (meow!); should leave her with just about enough free cash to buy one of these…

Posted by sean on February 20, 2019 at 6:27 pm in Television with No Comments

Has anyone else seen the advert on TV for the Terminator model? No? Let me jog your memory…

Going to subscribe? You won’t be if you have more than one brain cell, or have never been in possession of a jackpot-winning Euro Millions ticket.

Why? Take a closer look at the advert…

£1.99 – “that’s great value”, I hear you all shout.

£8.99 – “not too bad for a few issues. How many are there? 120? How much will that cost me?”

£1,071.80 – “ouch”.

Considering the original Terminator movie was released in 1984 and inflation prices, the real-life robot used in the film, 35 years ago, probably cost less than this model.

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