Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on May 14, 2019 at 11:22 pm in Have I Got News For You, Television with No Comments

Are people really surprised about a guest on the Jeremy Kyle Show killing themselves?

Nobody will deny that it is anything but an awful tragedy, but the only surprise for me is that something like this hasn’t happened sooner.

I will shamefully admit that I occasionally watched the show. I would even laugh at the angry druggies, who hadn’t worked a single day in their life.

Why the change of heart? While I have certainly grown more left-wing, over the past decade, I have also grown up – allowing myself to realise that the show’s guests need help, not ridicule.

Mercifully, in recent years, I realised the show is disgusting. It is now clear to me that many of the guests appear vulnerable and are taken advantage of, in the name of “entertainment”.

I despise the host. Kyle is a bully, who should learn a thing or two about people living in glass houses and throwing stones. You can rely on him, to fire a degrading, patronising comment, in the direction of a guest – always from behind the safety of his burly security guards.

I thought bear-baiting had been abolished centuries agol. The cruel, bloodsport is evidently still very popular… although the abomination is currently suspended from ITV – hopefully for good!


Posted by sean on March 8, 2019 at 7:42 am in Television with No Comments

If you’re going to enter a general knowledge quiz – especially one on television, watched by millions of people – read an atlas beforehand…

You have to feel sorry for her…

Actually, no you don’t. She was rude, boastful and always gave far too detailed answers. Nobody likes a show off – she just needed to say A, B, C or D.

Anyway, at least she won £1,000, which after paying for her travel to and from Manchester, as well as getting her roots done (meow!); should leave her with just about enough free cash to buy one of these…

Posted by sean on February 20, 2019 at 6:27 pm in Television with No Comments

Has anyone else seen the advert on TV for the Terminator model? No? Let me jog your memory…

Going to subscribe? You won’t be if you have more than one brain cell, or have never been in possession of a jackpot-winning Euro Millions ticket.

Why? Take a closer look at the advert…

£1.99 – “that’s great value”, I hear you all shout.

£8.99 – “not too bad for a few issues. How many are there? 120? How much will that cost me?”

£1,071.80 – “ouch”.

Considering the original Terminator movie was released in 1984 and inflation prices, the real-life robot used in the film, 35 years ago, probably cost less than this model.

Posted by sean on January 3, 2019 at 5:27 pm in Television with No Comments

I was pleased to see the new series of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? return this week. It’s one of those shows which, a few years ago, ran its course and was rightly axed by ITV (are you paying attention, Simon Cowell). Now it’s back, everyone is loving it again (that doesn’t always apply – sorry, Simon)

However, now that I am a homeowner, I cannot watch WWTBAM in the same way in which I used to. This is because just over a year ago, I spent tens of thousands of pounds, and borrowed an awful lot more, to buy a property. When I started watching the series under Chris Tarrant, all my finances were calculated based upon how many DVD and Nintendo 64 games I could buy (which shows just how long ago that was).

The other night, a woman won £125,000. The problem was, that she also lost £125,000. Basically, she had £250k, became greedy and gambled it, in an attempt to win half a million pounds.

I was able to see the entire catastrophe unfold, because I knew the correct answer. My knowledge of historical explorers is next to nothing, but while the woman spent the majority of the hour-long episode, pondering over what she should do, I Googled the answer.

£125k is half the price of a small house. Of course, it all depends on where you live in the country – in London, it’s a small coat cupboard, whereas in Middlesbrough, you could buy an entire postal code.

When the woman started to ponder whether or not to risk losing the money, I was getting twitchy for her – YOU’RE GAMBLING HALF A HOUSE! HALF A HOUSE!

If, away from the television studio and Jeremy Clarkson’s evil gaze, she had been offered a chance to bet a six-figure sum on a racing horse, with the opportunity to double her money, she would have laughed in your face – any sane person would. Therefore, why do contestants lose their minds (as well as their money) on these TV game shows…

Greed? Excitement? Stupidity? A bit of all three, perhaps?

Posted by sean on November 25, 2018 at 12:02 am in Television with No Comments

I’ve been enjoying this year’s edition of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! However, I am growing slightly annoyed by one camp mate. Anne Hegerty…

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not an Anne hater. She is my favourite ‘Chaser’ and I was excited when I read that she would be entering the jungle this year.

Anne has come across well on many occasions, since the new series started last Sunday. She is getting on with everyone and teaching both camp mates and viewers some fascinating (but useless) general knowledge – my favourite piece being that Birmingham City are the only football club not to have won a game, during the entire reign of a Pope. It was Pope John Paul I, if you’re interested. She also called Donald Trump a f**kwit, so quite frankly, deserves to win the show, on that alone.

Sadly, Anne won’t win the series. She might even be the first to get voted off, which would be a real shame.

The reason that I think The Governess’ days are numbered, is the same reason I am losing a bit of patience with her – she isn’t doing any of the Bushtucker Trials.

Anne probably has a jolly good reason for missing the scary challenges – she has a sick note – or, to be accurate, is ruled out on medical grounds.

I know that I am hardly athletic myself. The only thing I have in common with Mo Fahra, is that we both enjoy eating Quorn – and I bet he doesn’t eat the creamy Tikka Masala ready meal. However, unlike Miss Hegerty, I haven’t agreed to be paid tens, or even hundreds, of thousands of pounds to go on the show. Granted, the fact I am not even a z-list celebrity doesn’t help.

I kind of get the feeling the show’s producers have cleverly planned the trials around Anne – meaning, those trials which are very physical and clearly too much for the poor woman, are put out for the public vote. Those trials which you would feel Anne could do (eating bugs, for example), are only given to pre-chosen celebrities.

I really don’t wish to sound callous, as I like Anne and have physical issues myself; but I just wish we could see her squirm a bit with those spiders and snakes.

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