Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on November 13, 2018 at 12:13 am in Football, Television with No Comments

The rumours were right. Harry Redknapp is going into the I’m a Celebrity jungle – alongside a runner up from X Factor, someone from Hollyoaks (naturally) and a TV builder. Remember when ‘arry was linked with the England job? No, neither do I.

In anticipation of the new series, I have derised a drinking game, based around Mr Redknapp. I am practically T-Total these days, with the strongest drink passing my lips being Dr Pepper.

Don’t let my non-drinking stop you – all you piss heads out there, feel free to enjoy the SEAN’S STORIES HARRY REDKNAPP I’M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE DRINKING GAME 2018. Catchy name, isn’t it?

Take a shot everytime Redknapp…

  • Describes a camp mate’s performance in a Bushtucker Challenge as “fantastic”.
  • Describes his own performance as “triffic”
  • Says “you know”, while answering a question
  • Refers to his time in the jungle as a “breath of fresh air”

Drink a glass of wine if Harry…

  • Calls one of his camp mates a “top, top celebrity”
  • Praises Dec, by calling him a “top fella”

Drink a Jagerbomb if Harry…

  • Claims to have attempted to sign any of the celebrities, while he was manager of Bournemouth.

Drink a can of Castlemain if…

  • Harry picks any of the following, to write him a “letter from home”… Peter Crouch, Niko Kranjčar, Rosie the dog, or any of the 2008 FA Cup winning Portsmouth FC squad.
  • Harry avoids paying Kiosk Keith tax for his Dingo Dollars.

Down an entire bottle of vodka if…

  • Dec calls Harry a “wheeler dealer”, who replies “I’m not a wheeler dealer, I’m a fackin’ celebrity!”
  • Harry carries out any jungle interview from a car window.

Posted by sean on August 8, 2018 at 12:10 am in Television with No Comments

I continue to be off work sick and as such, have quite a lot of time on my hands. Having given up on using these free hours to teach Roman how to play chess – a challenge made even more difficult by the fact I don’t know the rules myself – I have taken to binge watching television shows.

The series which started this pastime, and one which I am still working my way through, is the US version of The Office. I’ve always been a fan of the original UK series and as a result scoffed at the mere thought of a remake. Then I discovered that it was created by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. Given the fact that they are behind the British offering, it seemed unlikely that they would bastardise their baby for the Yanks.

I watched the first few episodes. Annoyingly, I really enjoyed them. It was funny, with lots of new jokes, as well as welcome gags from the original series.

But who am I to review the show? Season 1 is twelve years old! To emphasise how long ago that actually is, read this… In 2006, I played football; with no Claire in my life, I admired women in the park; and MSN still existed! Therefore, if you give a damn about this series, you’ve probably watched it a long time ago!

I am currently on Season 8 of 9. There are apparently about 200 episodes in total (Seasons 1 to 9). At a guess, I have around 30-ish left. I am starting to get a little bored. Maybe this is because I’ve watched so much of the series in such a short space of time; or perhaps The US Office just ran it’s course and became crap – if anyone ever says Gervais should have made more episodes of the UK version, this is surely an argument against such an idea. I personally think that I am finding the later season less amusing because the main character – the David Brent equivalent – played by Steve Carell left.
Still, I’ve come this far, I might as well finish the series off. The next show which I plan to devour is Roots. I have a feeling that going from a light-hearted sitcom in The Office to a brutal and disturbing drama about the slave trade, will be something of an experience…

Note: Before any know-it-alls comment on this post, I have since discovered that The Office was created in 2005, and not 2006. So there.

Posted by sean on January 30, 2018 at 10:56 pm in Television with No Comments

I took the unwise decision of watching the much hyped Piers Morgan interview of Donald Trump.

Well, I watched half of it. Anymore and I would have started vomiting blood.

Picture two of the biggest wankers on the world stage, massaging each other’s egos. That was what the gist of the hour long interview.

Piers didn’t even push Trump on difficult issues. By his own admission, he is friends with the President. Why couldn’t somebody impartial interview Trump and quiz him on his many controversies? I think we all know the answer.

It was just a waste of time, that only reinforces my belief that the American President is a massive bell-end.

Posted by sean on October 16, 2017 at 10:09 pm in Football, Television with No Comments

Tonight, was the FA Cup draw, for the first round of the competition. As is tradition, it was broadcast, live on TV, from the home of one of the smallest remaining clubs in the cup – in this case, Hyde United.

While awaiting the draw, I noticed a familiar face in the crowd…

It looks like my tweet got a positive reaction. Mind you, Justin Bieber probably gets a million tweets, simply for saying he’s off to take a dump.

Posted by sean on April 13, 2016 at 3:33 pm in Television with No Comments

Last night, I started to watch the TV series 11.22.63. The title is not a set of random numbers – it is, in fact, a date which has been written incorrectly, in American format. What it should really read, is 22.11.63 – aka 22nd November 1963.

The series is based upon a Stephen King novel of the same name (yes, even Stephen King writes his dates wrong). Before watching, I was a tad sceptical. Some King films are great, some are rubbish. I’ll give you some examples. The Shining – great. The Mist – rubbish. Misery – great. Pet Semetery – rubbish. OK, I know that Pet Semetary one is a little controversial, as it does have some avid fans (heaven knows why).

11.22.63 isn’t your typical Stephen King horror movie. There are no axe-wielding maniacs, crazed nurses, rabid dogs or creatures from another planet. This is more of a thriller/sci-fi. I have only seen the first episode of the series, and have not read the book, but from what I understand of the plot so far, a man from the modern day discovers a portal, which takes him back to 1960. He must then stay in the swinging 1960’s to try and prevent the assassination of President Kennedy, on 22nd November 1963 – or 22.11.63 if you’re a Yank.

Of course, as anyone who has read a book or watched a movie about time travel will know, you shouldn’t mess with the past; and this is something the lead role discovers when trying to make changes, to try and alter the future.

The series did remind me the BBC sitcom, Goodnight Sweetheart, from the 1990’s; where Gary Sparrow travelled back to war-torn London to have an affair with a barmaid. I am sure Mr. King would love my comparison. Despite the similarities, there are less laughs and more blood than Goodnight Sweetheart.

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