Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on May 30, 2019 at 11:45 pm in Television with No Comments


One of my favourite TV shows as a child, was Pingu. Who would have thought that a collection of five minute episodes, featuring a noisy plasticine penguin, would be such a success?

All the episodes are on YouTube, and I found myself reliving part of my childhood last Saturday.

The first episode I found saw Pingu misbehave during a family meal, before getting told off and a smacked bottom, for throwing food at Mummy Penguin.

As a result of the family row, Pingu runs away from home (an igloo), before predictably becoming scared and lost.

It was great.

There was no way, in the year 2019, that CBBC would show that episode now…

  • Smacking Pingu’s bum would now be classed as child abuse.
  • The food fight, worryingly identifies a broken home.
  • Pingu is clearly demonstrating a concerning level of ADHD.
  • Let’s not even go there with Pingu running away from home. Did I mention there was a happy ending back in 1990? He was given a hot drink and snuggled in the warmth and safety of mummy and daddy’s bed. A lovely end to the episode, I am sure you’ll agree. In 2019, a lost and vulnerable Pingu meets a dangerous sealion called Rolf. Let’s just say, the subsequent episodes take a turn for the worse. Instead of being shown in between Peppa Pig and Dora the Explorer, Pingu 2019 becomes a hard-hitting 3-part ITV drama on child abuse.

The point of this blog post isn’t about the fact that, despite this generation’s minors, frequently murdering prostitutes on Grand Theft Auto, political correctness would undoubtably prevent 1990s kids’ television from being shown in 2019. No – this post is a lot more serious…

What in the name of bloody hell has happened to the Pingu intro?

This is the classic Pingu, we all grew to know and love…

Here’s the modern intro…

If I ever find who is responsible for this blasphemy, I will give them such a smacked bottom!

Posted by sean on May 14, 2019 at 11:22 pm in Have I Got News For You, Television with No Comments


Are people really surprised about a guest on the Jeremy Kyle Show killing themselves?

Nobody will deny that it is anything but an awful tragedy, but the only surprise for me is that something like this hasn’t happened sooner.

I will shamefully admit that I occasionally watched the show. I would even laugh at the angry druggies, who hadn’t worked a single day in their life.

Why the change of heart? While I have certainly grown more left-wing, over the past decade, I have also grown up – allowing myself to realise that the show’s guests need help, not ridicule.

Mercifully, in recent years, I realised the show is disgusting. It is now clear to me that many of the guests appear vulnerable and are taken advantage of, in the name of “entertainment”.

I despise the host. Kyle is a bully, who should learn a thing or two about people living in glass houses and throwing stones. You can rely on him, to fire a degrading, patronising comment, in the direction of a guest – always from behind the safety of his burly security guards.

I thought bear-baiting had been abolished centuries agol. The cruel, bloodsport is evidently still very popular… although the abomination is currently suspended from ITV – hopefully for good!

 

Posted by sean on March 8, 2019 at 7:42 am in Television with No Comments


If you’re going to enter a general knowledge quiz – especially one on television, watched by millions of people – read an atlas beforehand…

You have to feel sorry for her…

Actually, no you don’t. She was rude, boastful and always gave far too detailed answers. Nobody likes a show off – she just needed to say A, B, C or D.

Anyway, at least she won £1,000, which after paying for her travel to and from Manchester, as well as getting her roots done (meow!); should leave her with just about enough free cash to buy one of these…

Posted by sean on February 20, 2019 at 6:27 pm in Television with No Comments


Has anyone else seen the advert on TV for the Terminator model? No? Let me jog your memory…

Going to subscribe? You won’t be if you have more than one brain cell, or have never been in possession of a jackpot-winning Euro Millions ticket.

Why? Take a closer look at the advert…

£1.99 – “that’s great value”, I hear you all shout.

£8.99 – “not too bad for a few issues. How many are there? 120? How much will that cost me?”

£1,071.80 – “ouch”.

Considering the original Terminator movie was released in 1984 and inflation prices, the real-life robot used in the film, 35 years ago, probably cost less than this model.

Posted by sean on January 3, 2019 at 5:27 pm in Television with No Comments


I was pleased to see the new series of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? return this week. It’s one of those shows which, a few years ago, ran its course and was rightly axed by ITV (are you paying attention, Simon Cowell). Now it’s back, everyone is loving it again (that doesn’t always apply – sorry, Simon)

However, now that I am a homeowner, I cannot watch WWTBAM in the same way in which I used to. This is because just over a year ago, I spent tens of thousands of pounds, and borrowed an awful lot more, to buy a property. When I started watching the series under Chris Tarrant, all my finances were calculated based upon how many DVD and Nintendo 64 games I could buy (which shows just how long ago that was).

The other night, a woman won £125,000. The problem was, that she also lost £125,000. Basically, she had £250k, became greedy and gambled it, in an attempt to win half a million pounds.

I was able to see the entire catastrophe unfold, because I knew the correct answer. My knowledge of historical explorers is next to nothing, but while the woman spent the majority of the hour-long episode, pondering over what she should do, I Googled the answer.

£125k is half the price of a small house. Of course, it all depends on where you live in the country – in London, it’s a small coat cupboard, whereas in Middlesbrough, you could buy an entire postal code.

When the woman started to ponder whether or not to risk losing the money, I was getting twitchy for her – YOU’RE GAMBLING HALF A HOUSE! HALF A HOUSE!

If, away from the television studio and Jeremy Clarkson’s evil gaze, she had been offered a chance to bet a six-figure sum on a racing horse, with the opportunity to double her money, she would have laughed in your face – any sane person would. Therefore, why do contestants lose their minds (as well as their money) on these TV game shows…

Greed? Excitement? Stupidity? A bit of all three, perhaps?

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