Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on April 29, 2008 at 3:11 pm in Have I Got News For You with No Comments


Why do murderers, sick perverts and rapists always look dodgy? Anyone strange looking should be locked up before they can commit crimes – I suppose Chelsea would have to find a new manager if that happened. *

* for legal reasons, I must say that Avram Grant is neither a murderer, pervert or rapist. Hopefully he will be a league champion in a few weeks time (at the expense of Man Utd)

Posted by sean on April 28, 2008 at 11:45 pm in Video Games with 8 Comments


I have it! After waiting in a MASSIVE queue, I finally have it. As I blog, the game is installing and the milk for the cocoa is being heated in the microwave… I am going to have some fun!

Posted by sean on April 28, 2008 at 6:03 pm in Video Games with No Comments


Tonight’s the night. In little over 5 hour’s time, I will (hopefully) have my grubby little mits on a copy of Grand Theft Auto 4. I’m off to Asda at 11pm, hoping to buy the game at 00:01.

Ever since I got home from work, I have had the soundtrack for the original GTA game playing on loop – “Take it to the edge, there`s nowhere to hide, and call up the boy; let`s go for a joyride…”

You know that feeling you got as a kid the night before Christmas? I’ve had that all day, and I am so tense with excitement right now. To calm my nerves, I am meeting work colleagues in town for a few pints, before driving to Asda *.

* don’t worry. Even though it would be rather fitting for GTA, the driver will not be drinking.
If, however, we are not able to get a copy tonight, there will be a car chase after the person who buys the last copy.

Posted by sean on April 25, 2008 at 11:45 pm in Leeds United with No Comments


This evening I dared to enter the caldron of football that is The Carlsberg Stand at Yeovil Town’s Huish Park. I posed as a Yeovil fan in order to watch my real club, Leeds United, play.

While I was discreet in my support, some other Leeds fans pretending to be ‘Yeocals’ were not. Firstly the broad Yorkshire accent gave it away (something that I didn’t have to worry about); but the thing that really revealed their identity was that when Leeds scored, chants of “WE ALL LOVE LEEDS” broke out. Cue an army of police and a departure of joyous Leeds fans.

Luckily I wasn’t found out. Luckily Yeovil didn’t score. Luckily Leeds won. Luckily I got home in one piece (even though it did take 45 minutes to get out the car park)!

Despite not being a Yeovil fan, I was amused by some of their chants…

HAVE YOU EVER WON THE CONFERENCE, HAVE YOU F**K
– As if Leeds United care about non-league competitions

I’D RATHER BE A FARMER THAN A CHAV

And when the “record” crowd for Yeovil was announced…
YOU ONLY CAME TO WATCH YEOVIL…

Posted by sean on April 23, 2008 at 9:32 pm in Bath City with No Comments


After last night’s fiasco with the floodlight failure in the highly prestige Somerset Cup Final, I e-mailed the Somerset FA to complain…

In the politest possible way, I called them all useless tossers, asked for a refund on tickets & travel and, in true Dr. Evil style, demanded one hundred BILLION dollars *

Let’s see if they reply…

* OK, that last bit was a lie

  • About Me

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    All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
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