Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on January 17, 2020 at 9:28 am in Books with No Comments


While casually browsing the Amazon website, for nothing in particular, I noticed a book which caught my attention…

There appear to be many books in this series, all focusing on one specific football club – for example, When I grow up, I’m going to play for… Leicester City.

There is even a book for Millwall. Having not read that particular edition, I cannot comment on the content – although, based upon the behaviour of some of the club’s supporters, suspect it to include tips on fighting, mocking the deaths of murdered football fans and how to make monkey chants at black players.

If you are not aware of the significance of MK Dons, they are another disliked club – a bit like Millwall, without the fighting and abhorrent racism.

The reason MK are not everyone’s second team is a little complicated. Well, not that complicated. They basically stole another club’s place in the Football League. All is explained here.

Anyway, it doesn’t sound like the book sold very well. Maybe the reviews on Amazon didn’t help…

At least the book got one 5-star review…

Posted by sean on January 16, 2020 at 9:53 am in Roman's Album with No Comments


He may be incredibly cute, but Roman has been a right turd lately. His behaviour has been very poor.

Along with attempting to escape and biting our wooden furniture, when he is allowed the freedom of our front room; our beloved bunny has been demanding attention, by shaking the bars of his run.

My broken bones are still restricting me to the bedroom for the majority of the time. However, it would appear that the mere mention of “Daddy” returning, is enough to immediately stop Romy from whatever naughtiness he may be up to…

Posted by sean on January 15, 2020 at 9:23 am in Shopping with 1 Comment


These cupcakes are incredible, it’s unreal. They are so good, that there must be something wrong with them.

A drugs warlord named Franz Sanchez, has probably snuck cocaine into the mixture, or something else equally sinister.

Posted by sean on January 14, 2020 at 9:47 pm in The Roman Chalice with No Comments


There is a long-running job throughout football, regarding Newcastle United and the fact that they haven’t won a major trophy for over half a century – currently 65 years and counting.

TROPHY WINNING LEGENDS *

Well all the guffaws can stop right here, right  now. Newcastle’s long run without a major honour has come to an end…

This evening, they beat Rochdale 4-1 in the FA Cup. Before you congratulate them on their victory, you should be aware that the Magpies haven’t won the FA Cup. Tonight’s game was only the third round of that tinpot competition. Their prize is far greater than any cup, trophy or shield; for Newcastle United are now the proud holders of THE ROMAN CHALICE.

Eoghan O’Connell opened the scoring for the Chalice heroes. He will now forever go down in folklore as a Newcastle United legend and discussions are already underway to build a statue of O’Connell outside the club’s stadium, St James Park. The mayor of Newcastle has also promised him the key to the city.

Not bad, for the young Irishman, considering he doesn’t even play for Newcastle! Eoghan is technically a Rochdale player, but it was his own goal in the 17th minute that he believes inspired his beloved Magpies to lift the Chalice.

“I have always wanted to score for a Premiership team, you know.”, said O’Connell. “When I found out that Rochdale would be playing against the Toon Army, I knew this was my opportunity to put the name Eoghan O’Connell on the map”.

When asked about how he prepared for the fixture, O’Connell confirmed “I have been training since the draw was made. I was determined to give 110 percent and score for Newcastle.”

“At the end of the day, whether it came off my foot, head or backside, I didn’t care. Luckily, when my chance came along, I was in acres of space and was able to take it. I was as pleased as punch when I put the ball in the back of the net. Goals win games.”

Congratulations Newcastle United and Eoghan O’Connell **

An open top bus parade will take place tomorrow. Newcastle fans are encouraged to attend and get a glimpse of the Roman Chalice. It may be their only chance to see it, considering the club will probably lose to Chelsea at the weekend and relinquish the honour.

* right, before you all send me abuse, I am all too aware that this is not Newcastle United. It is the Welsh national football team. I don’t know the age of the photograph – I used Google image search – but am aware that it is a long time ago!

** and if you believe those quotes were actually from Eoghan O’Connell, you’re more gullible than those who voted for Brexit, thinking that the NHS would get £350 million if we left the EU.

Posted by sean on January 13, 2020 at 11:39 pm in Weather with No Comments


I am bracing myself for the terrible weather which is forecast to hit Bath and such of the UK.

If you believe the weatherman, we can expect lots of rain and gale force winds. The weather did look rather rough this afternoon, but has annoyingly calmed down now that it is time to go to sleep.

The bad weather is supposed to step it up tomorrow. I wonder if this means that, at the time of writing this blog, we are in the eye of the storm? A term I learned from The Simpsons – Episode [4F07] Hurricane Neddy.

I love lying in bed at night, listening to the wind and rain batter the house. As long as it doesn’t batter too hard – now that I am a homeowner, I would have to deal with any damage caused.

One of the very few perks of renting the property you live in, is that the landlord has to deal with any problems like leaking roofs, frozen pipes and the side of the house blowing off.

This storm has been named Storm Brendan. I don’t know how these weather boffins decide on a name – I’m sure it’s a recent thing.

Until recently, people would just refer to bad weather as “pissing it down”, or if you’re visiting your gran, “raining cats and dogs”.

Whatever the reason for the name, if this storm damages my house, I’m blaming Brendan from Coach Trip. Or maybe Brendan Rogers – the Leicester City manager. That’s probably a better option – he’ll have more money.


All joking aside, please take care out there. These high winds can be very dangerous. It’s all too easy to get blown over and break your leg…

… don’t worry. Given how accident prone I am, I won’t be leaving the house tomorrow!

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