Posted by sean on April 29, 2006 at 10:51 pm in Pubs with No Comments

This evening was spent at Couer De Lion, Bath’s smallest pub. It is indeed very petit, probably the size of the bedroom in my flat.

When I arrived I was told that two of my friends had been drinking since the early afternoon and it bloody well showed! Anyone who has ever watched Booze Britain on Bravo will know how pissed people can get, well these two made the drunks on the documentary look a little bit tipsy.

There were fights which turned into hugs just minutes later, glasses dropped and a near accident involving a shop window which could have resulted in a lot of blood, glass and a burglar alarm being set off.

I observed all this while sipping on my usual beverage of choice for my trips to town – Fosters. I didn’t know whether to laugh at the hilarity of the situation or hide in the bar area in horror telling other drinkers “I don’t know these people”.

I did have to move right onto the streets at one stage of the evening. I ended up sitting between both of my intoxicated friends and at a point it looked as if I was going to be in the middle of a bout of projectile vomiting. Luckily there was no regurgitation of alcohol.

I left them in town with a sober friend so don’t know what to expect. If you see any news alerts on BBC News 24 this evening/tomorrow morning involving murders/fires/explosions in Bath city centre you know what’s happened.

Posted by sean on April 29, 2006 at 2:31 pm in England with No Comments

This time yesterday things were looking so hopeful for the England national team. Wayne Rooney was on fire, Michael Owen set to play for the first time since 2005, a World Cup winning manager set to take over Sven’s reigns. Then it all went wrong.

Luiz Felipe Scolari last night shocked everyone by turning down the England job on national television. He blamed the British media, a factor which arguably has been the downfall of the English game on so many occasions – fucking tabloids.

Less than 24 hours after that blow the England wonderkid who is Wayne Rooney was stretcher off in the league game against Chelsea. As ‘Frank Lampard the Cockney’ would say “It’s all gone Pete Tong”.

We may as well just not bother turning up to the World Cup. Shit manager, crocked strikers, we don’t have a hope. It is just like a Monty Python sketch although if you tell any England fan to “Always look on the bright side of life” they will probably slap you.

It’s time for all of us to hope and prey that Mr. Rooney gets over his injury and can play in the World Cup. Can the club doctor please get him 20 CC’s of pies… STAT!

Posted by sean on April 28, 2006 at 10:53 pm in Pubs with No Comments

This evening was spent inside a couple of pubs in Bath city centre. I wasn’t planning on going out tonight as I was out at The Hop Pole pub with work mates last night and should be out tomorrow for a friend’s birthday.

Anyway, the first pub of the evening was The Boater. A large establishment right next to the beautiful Pultney Bridge. The evening was warm so we sat outside in the beer garden, I say beer garden it’s more of a “beer yard”. There was an obvious absence of grass, trees and plants, in fact the only thing green was the used beer bottles.

As the evening went by the temperature dropped so we decided to go into the pool hall upstairs. The pool hall consisted of 2 pool tables – wow. What made matters worse was that some moron decided to put Paul Oakenfold’s Starry Eyed Surprise on the jukebox. It was time to leave.

After finishing off a pint of Fosters (unfortunately they don’t seem to sell Carling in town and being a self-proclaimed “lightweight” won’t touch these continental lagers) we headed off to Saint James Wine Vault…

This place is on the edge of the city centre, just down the road from where my good friend Mr. Hobart AKA DanInTheMix used to live.

There was a Hip Hop night on. I used to really like this genre of music but have gone right off it now. There are only so many times you can appreciate lyrics about somebody “popping a cap in ones ass”.

Anyway, we all filed down some steps into a dark basement, handed over our £2 admittance fee and in return received a green smudge on our hands from an old wine cork dipped in paint.

I was disappointed that this pub, like most others in the city didn’t sell Carling so went for the Fosters again or as my friend Mr. White likes to call it “Rats piss”.

I didn’t really hear much of the music which was probably a good thing with it being rap. The quality of HiFi equipment sounded very poor and the fact that the event was based in a basement with lots of nooks and crannies didn’t help. The room also smelt of damp and sweat. To some this may be disgusting, while unpleasant it did bring back memories for me of long evening in Dan’s flat playing 4-player GoldenEye on the N64. I still miss those nights.

When 11 O Clock came I decided to call it a night and get back to my flat where I could drink all the Carling I want, smell fresh air and listen to good music like Oasis, The Libertines and Kaiser Chiefs.

Posted by sean on April 27, 2006 at 6:36 am in England with No Comments

Another ridiculously early blog this morning just before I leave for work. I turned on the radio and heard the news that Felipe Scolari has been offered the England managers job.

Scolari is currently managing Portugal but the plan is to drag him away from sunny Lisbon to rainy London after the World Cup. So does Scolari pass the Sparkster test (and it a tough one to pass)?

Yes, Scolari is one of only three managers who I genuinely believe could do a good job for England along with Martin O’Neill and Arsen Wenger.

Scolari has proven he can get results with talented teams. He took Portugal to the final in Euro 2004 and won the World Cup with Brazil in 2002. O’Neill and Wenger do not have any history of winning trophies on an international field or even in Europe (yet).

It’s a shame we can’t get an English manager but we need to think of who is best for the job and I believe that is Scolari.

Hopefully Scolari will also be more professional than Sven and not sleep with every female member of The FA and spout secrets to “fake Sheikhs”, howeve judging by this photo I found on the internet he is every bit as seedy. :o)

“Mr. Scolari, meet your new 21 year old secretary Rebecca”

Posted by sean on April 24, 2006 at 9:59 pm in Television with No Comments

I watched the first episode in the new series of Wife Swap this evening. I am not sure what series they are up to now but the original format remains unchanged. You can bet you life that one of the wives will be an argumentative, common as much tart who’s interests include smoking, drinking and… well that’s it, forget about looking after kids, holding down a decent job or being a respectable human being.

This weeks episode included a bar maid – blonde, tall, skinny with a face like a slapped arse. Fag in one hand, bottle in another, disgusting. All in all a forty-something chav.

What I actually found disturbing was her attitude towards her children. She had twins. Sadly they were originally triplets and one of them had died. The mothers attitude being “I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant again. We lost one of the triplets but with the trouble I have from the two now it’s a good thing”. How the hell can any self-respecting, decent mother even think those terrible thoughts, let alone announce them on national television? God only knows what her poor children will think when they are old enough to fully comprehend what their mother makes of their existence.

Wife Swap really is trash TV, even though the people on it are a little shocking at times. Most people, myself included simply enjoy watching it, even though we know it’s bloody awful! Roll on Big Brother 2006!

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