Posted by sean on June 1, 2020 at 10:00 pm in Rabbits with No Comments


Poor Roman has been behaving rather strangely these past few days. I wouldn’t say that he is off his food, but he is off his food!

He normally devours his lunch and evening meals, but we found him to be very picky with what was placed in his bowl.

It was time to investigate what the problem was. We needed the veterinary skills of James Herriot, the detective prowess of Miss Marple, and the culinary know-how of Fanny Cradock.

I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN ROMAN TO BE ONE TEET SHORT OF AN UDDER.

Romy had not eaten his nuggets – small dried pellets, easily mistaken for rabbit droppings – for a few days. He then stopped eating his fresh vegetables! That’s when we got worried.

Detective Claire and I came up with a theory that there may be a problem with the nuggets. We considered the possibility that they had turned bad. Interestingly, the bag containing his bunny food had only recently been opened.

If the nuggets smelt or tasted like they had gone off, there was a strong chance that Roman would not only avoid the offending pellets, but also anything they had come into contact with – e.g. fresh vegetables.

This is a natural survival instinct possessed by many animals and presumably held by rabbits, which allows them to identify and avoid potentially harmful sources of food.

I have the same ‘detect and avoid’ instinct, when it comes to identifying the presence of parmesan cheese…

With this theory in mind, Claire prepared Roman a bowl topped with the finest vegetables Tesco could provide, as well as the juiciest carrot tops the farmer who lives near to my mum, could pull from the Somerset soil. It was a dish fit for Peter Rabbit himself.

Romy tore into his meal, devouring the fresh produce in record time. The poor creature must have been ravenous. I felt a tad guilty for even contemplating the idea, that the reason he had failed to eat all his food days earlier, was that he was only prepared to eat treats.

Realising that there was something off with his nuggets, we were very much relieved to see that our rabbit had found his appetite. However, it was clear that to maintain his health, he couldn’t live off leaves and hay alone. He needed his dry ‘grains’.

The only thing we could give him was toast. As with the carrot tops, he jumped straight in, making his treat disappear – had he devoured the offering any quicker, it could have been a magic trick.

ROMAN THE MAGICAL BUNNY.

Not wishing to risk giving Roman more nuggets he dislikes, we avoided purchasing another bag of the brand he had, up until recently, been happily enjoying his entire life. We believe that it was worth considering the possibility that the recipe had changed, resulting in one very hungry, hot cross bunny!

After doing some research, I discovered and ordered a brand of nuggets very similar to the ones Romy had once liked. If he did accept these, it would be great for Claire and me too, as this type can be bought from Tesco and Amazon. The previous lot were only available from Pets at Home – a shop difficult for us to drive to, and with one of the worst websites I have ever seen from a business.

Fast forward to the next morning… we went downstairs to find Roman looking very unwell. Understandably, both of us were extremely worried about our little fur baby. He took little interest in his surroundings and only managed a few nibbles of toast – that is when we knew things were bad! Claire and I were seriously on the verge of ringing the vet for an emergency appointment. Luckily this was unnecessary, as things improved…

The new nuggets arrived promptly that same afternoon. While slightly apprehensive to begin with, Roman slowly took a liking for his new food – so much so, that when he was given a generous portion for lunch, he made short work of his meal!

YUM YUM, IN MY TUM!

I am tempted to contact Pets at Home to see if any ingredients have been changed in their own-brand rabbit food. If I do email them and receive a response, I’ll let you know.

Perhaps calling them would be a better idea?

“Hello! Pets at Home? Yes, I’d like to speak to the manager, please, and quick about it!

Sean!

No, he doesn’t but he bloody-well will shortly!”

Posted by sean on June 1, 2020 at 10:03 am in Leeds United with No Comments


So, it now looks like the Championship season will be played out, with each club fulfilling their remaining nine games.

Up until the time football was suspended in March, I maintained that Leeds would find a way to bottle promotion – despite the fact they’re sitting pretty at the top of the league.

Many may call me a pessimist <insert expletive of your choice>. I prefer to refer to myself as a realist, who has supported Leeds United for far too long – throughout all the ups and downs… and downs and downs and downs.

I will admit, I did get a bit giddy and dared to dream about Leeds playing the giants of Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester City and… err… AFC Bournemouth next season. However, that was only when it looked like the remainder of the current campaign would be curtailed, meaning that Leeds would win promotion without needing to kick a ball.

Now it looks like Leeds will get another opportunity to screw things up. Shitting buggery!

20th of June is when the annual collapse is set to start. My wedding anniversary, no less. If following tradition, Claire and I should give and receive wooden gifts. It would be more fitting if it was a glass anniversary, due to the number of glass bottles which Leeds will be bottling.

That was terrible, Sean. I’m so sorry, everybody…

Posted by sean on May 31, 2020 at 7:17 am in Coronavirus with No Comments


When Claire told me that there had been trouble in Durdle Door yesterday, I didn’t believe her. I had never heard of such a place, and thought Durdle Door was a character from Harry Potter.

My wife explained to me that it is an area of Dorset. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people who can only be described as thoughtless, selfish cretins descended upon the beautiful beach.

Some wannabe Darwin Award winners thought that it would be a good idea to jump off a cliff into the water. I know that there is a social media trend of telling nasty or idiotic people to “get in the sea”, but they’re not supposed to take it literally!

As a result of their ‘stunt’, police and ambulance helicopters were deployed. This caused those on the beach – most of who were already failing to observe social distancing rules – to become even more compressed.

Here they all are, in a warn, cosy, covid-spreading group. Cute.

No doubt the many families who visited the beach yesterday, will be visiting their grandparents for Sunday roast. Granny and Grandad are far too old and frail to visit the seaside, but a family can never miss out on roast beef, Bisto and roasties! Plus, what’s a bit of coronavirus between loved ones?

Posted by sean on May 30, 2020 at 7:23 am in Coronavirus with No Comments


The government announced that between Thursday and Friday, 324 people died of Covid19, taking the total beyond 38,000.

Had this happened in April, we would be mortified by the tragedy and loss of life.

It now seems that many in society have a “meh” attitude towards the figure; while those in government slap each other on the back, congratulating themselves that “only” 324 people are dead.

Jolly good show! Or as I see it, beyond abhorrent.

Posted by sean on May 29, 2020 at 10:45 am in Weather with No Comments


It’s been rather warm lately – or as I prefer to describe it, “fucking boiling”.

At least Bath and North East Somerset Council have kindly put up a new sign on our street…

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