Posted by sean on March 27, 2005 at 4:45 pm in Insects with No Comments


I don’t know why but in the last two weeks there has been a sudden plague of woodlice in my local area. There are loads of the things; I’ve just swept about five from the kitchen floor. They’re not just in my house, as I walk up the street I see them on the pavement.

They’re not a major problem, it’s not as if they carry diseases (like cockroaches) or are scary (like spiders), they don’t even go in the food. They just seem to wander around the floor looking for places to hide.


Luckily the woodlice aren’t this big.
If they ever grow to this size, God help us all.

I don’t know the reason for the sudden increase in woodlice population. Maybe they are all colligating around my house for some big woodlice rock festival – Woodstock maybe? Or could they all be planning a woodlice invasion!!??

I think the best thing to do is take a solo woodlouse hostage in a matchbox. Deny it food or water until it talks (into a tiny, tiny microphone) about what it’s species have planned. I will then send the confidential information to George W. Bush and Tony Blair who can organise a war on terror stopping the woodlice once and for all.

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