I went to Pizza Express this evening, a pleasant Italian restaurant in the centre of Bath. After the meal had been consumed I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation from the opposite table between a party of four and the foreign waitress desperately trying to be helpful yet struggling a little with the situation and language. It was like a scene from Fawlty Towers.
Waitress: “Any drinks or dessert?”
Diner: “We’ll have a coffee and a hot chocolate please”
Waitress: “Just coffee chocolate?”
Diner: “Yes, a coffee and hot chocolate”
Waitress: “I can sprinkle chocolate on the coffee?”
Diner: “No, I would like a cup of coffee and a cup of chocolate?”
Waitress: “We have no chocolate”
Diner: “OK, just two coffees then”
Waitress: “So no chocolate on the coffee?”
Diner: “You said you don’t have any chocolate!”
Waitress: “No chocolate. I can sprinkle some on coffee”
All that is just a trimmed down version of the whole conversation. Bless the waitress though, she did try. When she came over to us I was tempted to totally confuse her by asking “Can I order a chocolate pizza?” This would probably have sent the poor dear off her trolley though, resulting in a Mars Bar Margarita, a Pepperoni Espresso and a crying foreign waitress.
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