It appears that those Innocent Fruit Smoothies I have been drinking recently may make me healthier buy they do not make me indestructible (damn!). I learnt that I am still susceptible to “the common cold” (cough, sneeze, splutter).

I developed a sore throat on Friday night and since then have been moping around the flat with a snot filled tissue in one hand and packet of paracetamol in another. Only venturing outside to answer the door to my hairdresser and visit the local shops to buy food for dinner.

Today was boring. I sat around watching The FA Cup Final and Lost. I’ve finally caught up with season 2 and am at episode 21. I can now discuss it with my other friends who watch the series, as long as another set of friends who are following the show on Channel 4 are not about.

If you’re one of these people who watches Lost on Channel 4, don’t worry, there are no spoilers below. I do mention future episodes but nothing happens.

21 episodes later, 15 hours and 45 minutes of my life wasted. What did these people on the island accomplish in the second season? Not much. They pressed a button on a computer a few times for reasons unknown to us and that we are increasingly starting not to care about. A few people got pointlessly shot and we had about seven thousand boring flashbacks. I don’t know why I bother watching it but I will continue to do so.

I have a theory on how Lost is written. The writers are all ants in an ant farm. This ant farm is situated in an office in the basement of ABC Headquarters, in-between the writer’s room for “Everybody Hates Chris” and the old “Arrested Development” office, out of the way of all the decent shows. *

At the top of the ant farm is a massive pile of rice, each which a subject or character name inscribed on it in tiny writing. For example one grain of rice may read “Jack” another “Vision” another “Polar Bear”. The ants all carry the grains of rice to a chamber at the foot of the farm. Once there, the grains of rice are read in the order in which they were placed, each word on the rice linking together to form a storyline in an episode. For example “Jack” has a “Vision” of a “Polar Bear”.

A little far fetched I know but if anyone has a better guess on how Lost is written then let me know.

* OK, OK, I know ABC don’t produce these shows, but it gives me a chance to laugh at “Everybody Hates Chris” (an awful show) and wind Dan up about “Arrested Development”