Posted by sean on June 11, 2006 at 9:22 pm in England, Football with No Comments

For the first time in its 14 month history, has its first World Exclusive. Yes, I have a story that The Sun, Mirror, Guardian and Times would love to get. It is the real truth on Wayne Rooney’s broken metatarsal…

Over the past six weeks the whole country has been on tenterhooks, praying that Wayne Rooney recovers from his broken foot in time for The World Cup.

Wayne Rooney picked up his injury on 29th April in a game against Chelsea. At that late point in the season, Manchester United had nothing to play for. They were out of The FA Cup, out of The Champions League and had already secured a place in the European competition for the following season. News of this injury was far more of a blow for England than the football club. can exclusively reveal, not only that Wayne’s foot is fully healed but that it was never broken in the first place!

In the week prior to the match on 29th April 2006, FA Officials, Sven-Goran Eriksson and Wayne Rooney met with Sir Alex Ferguson at a hotel just outside of Manchester. The FA issued a proposal to Sir Alex, a proposal that would turn out to be the biggest conspiracy in the whole history of football.

There has long been a feud between Alex Ferguson and The FA regarding Manchester United’s players being capped for England mid-season. The FA’s proposal promises Sir Alex that as of 1st August 2006 until 31st May 2007, the new England manager Steve McClaren will always consult Manchester United before capping key players for international friendlies (note: this excludes Euro 2008 qualifiers).

In exchange for this favour, Ferguson will play along with a major conspiracy constructed by The FA. This conspiracy starts with Wayne Rooney falling down after an everyday tackle during the Chelsea match. After the fall, Rooney will fake an injury and be stretchered off by unsuspecting medical staff. The media will then be told the tragic news that Rooney will miss The World Cup due to a broken bone in his foot.

As the weeks go on and The World Cup moves closer, the media will report to the world that Rooney is making a remarkable recovery, however still may not be match fit even if picked for England. Little do the media know that Rooney is actually training at a secret location with Manchester United and England team mates to keep himself fully fit.

The World Cup has now arrived and Rooney has been included in the squad. He will start all games on the bench and will only be unleashed when England need him most. In the past, the opposition have always been extremely wary of Rooney and man marked him with two of their players. An injured and unfit Rooney will of course receive less attention from the opponents.

This will allow Rooney to come on the field, be left alone by defenders, perform his magic, score a hat trick and help England to win The 2006 World Cup.

To add more evidence to my claims, last month the media reported that Manchester United club doctor Mike Stone was sacked. The reasons for Stone’s dismissal have never been made public. Stone was indeed sacked by Manchester United, the reason being that while he was never informed of the conspiracy, he did not believe Rooney was injured and demanded to undertake his own x-rays. This would have course exposed the whole plot, so Mr. Stone had to go.

And that’s it basically. Expect to read this story in all the papers in a few days time but remember, published it first!

I must add for legal reasons that my story is probably untrue and that I have no evidence to back up my claims. But then again, how many tabloid paper exclusives are exactly the same? :o)

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