I’m off to see Jimmy Carr at The Pavillion in Bath this evening. I’m a big fan of his and am really looking forward to it.
One thing anybody who has seen him live or watched one of the DVDs will know is that a lot of his act involves taking the piss out of the audience and humiliating them to the extent of suicide.
In order to avoid being picked on by Jimmy, I believe precautions must be taken…
- Avoid the first four rows if at all possible (although as you are allocated a seat based upon your ticket, this is generally unavoidable)
- Do not drink heavily beforehand. The worst thing you can do is get up in the middle of his act to go for a piss – red rag to a bull
- Don’t dress like a tramp
- At the same time don’t overdress or wear strange, exotic items of clothing
- If you’re foreign, very old or very young, don’t even think about going
If he does pick on you, here’s what to do…
- Try and think up some witty comeback, but don’t make yourself look like a twat
- Pass the buck onto the poor sod sitting next to you
- If all else fails, call Jimmy a cunt and tell him to fuck off
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So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
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