Work was a tad stressful yesterday afternoon. At one point I resorted to bashing my head on the desk in a Basil Fawlty nervous-breakdown manner. I was left with a little bruise, however, the mouse which my forehead made contact with, may never “left click” again.

After work, Sam and I decided to find a pub. It was either drinking a pint of Fosters in the evening sun, or drop kicking an LCD monitor through a glass window – I think you’ll all agree that we made the sensible, although less fun, approach.

The pint was nice, but stress can build up an appetite. We made the long walk from Weston Village, all the way to The Boathouse in Newbridge. There we enjoyed a nice meal by the riverside, in the company of local wildlife – wildlife in the form of ducks and swans…

The ducks were tolerable. They would waddle around the place, looking for dropped food. They were of no danger, and neither Sam nor I were scared of them. The swans however were something else. A swan is like a massive, mutated and very pissed off duck. They are not afraid of humans, and I am sure that the story of them breaking men’s arms is no myth.

The swan encounter did start off innocent enough. The bird would circle our table, eating grass and occasionally glancing at us, hoping we would take pity on it and throw it something tastier. At this “safe point”, I took this video of it. Ignore all comments on the film about us actually punching it – that was just pub talk, although on hindsight, maybe attacking it would have been a clever move.

Shortly after the video was taken, the swan became more confident. It approached our table and started helping itself to your meals. We tried to fend it off by throwing unwanted chips, carrots and packets of tomato ketchup at it, but that didn’t work. The swan wanted meat, and when it realised our dinner was all gone, turned it’s attentions to me.

Luckily I escaped unscathed (just), but it was a very close encounter. I will never threaten to fight a swan again!