Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer annoyed the garbage men and they stopped collecting his rubbish? I think something similar has happened to me.
While I cannot speak for the residents of the other four flats in my building, I don’t think I have pissed off the refuse collectors of Bath and North East Somerset, unless during some drunken cider-induced rampage I spray painted BIN MEN SMELL OF WEE on the side of their lorry.
For some reason, for the past three weeks they have not been empting our bins. It is getting to the stage where the outside of the flats is beginning to look like the training facilities at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi.
I have taken drastic action. Like every proud Englishman, I wrote a letter. Actually, I sent an email – we’re living in the 21st century and stamps cost money. Plus I’m too lazy to walk across the road and past the mountains of bin bags to stick the envelope in the post box.
Tomorrow morning, some admin assistant at BANES will receive my email, informing them of the latest health hazard to be bestowed upon the Georgian city, in the form of a million bin bags, piled high outside a set of flats in Newbridge.
There was an option on the website to send a complaint. I refrained from this. Firstly as the form wanted everything from my mothers maiden name to my inside leg measurement – why so much information was required for a simple moan, I do not know. Besides, I was worried that if I sent a complaint about a bin man, he would gather all his mates together and do a poo thorough my letterbox.
Needless to say, ‘Bob The Bin Man’ or whatever he’s called will not be getting a fiver in a card or a tin of Roses come Christmas. Hopefully by next Wednesday, he will find it possible to undertake his job and clear the ever-growing mound of rubbish, which is fast becoming the Eighth Wonder of the World.
Swindon Supermarines away
Decent draw for Bath City
Not to be confused with the US Marines or anyone connected with the army
I have been living without money this weekend. My debit card has stopped working, meaning that despite having funds in my bank account, I am unable to withdrawn money from cash point machines or pay for stuff in shops.
While I wait for my bank to produce and send me a new card, I am being forced to beg for money in order to survive. Tomorrow I will be selling copies of The Big Issue. Please give generously.
Bath City played two games this week. One being totally meaningless, the other of great importance – or as David Mitchell would say “Massively mattering to someone somewhere, presumably”.
The first game was the pointless one. It took place on Wednesday in the world famous, picturesque town of Radstock. The local side, Radstock Town, hosted Bath City in the Somerset Premier Cup. This competition is not rated highly by the City Faithful and therefore a side made up primarily of youth players was fielded.
We lost on penalties. I was somewhat disappointed by this, especially after reading the prize list for progressing through each round of the Somerset Cup…
1st Round winners – A pint of cider
2nd Round winners – A pitchfork
Quarter final winners – A cow
Semi final winners – A tractor
Final winners – A combine harvester
This is what you could have won!
With such great prizes on offer, surely it is worth taking the Somerset Cup seriously and playing a full strength side! The thought of having your own combine harvester is just too exciting to contemplate!
It was back to important league action yesterday, where Eastbourne made the trip to Bath. They only brought about 5 fans. Not really a surprise. Eastbourne is a retirement town, or to put it bluntly, a place where old people go to die – a bit like an elephant graveyard. That game ended 1-1 – the old codgers of the east coast finding one last breath, to strike home an equaliser, before the bus took them back to the retirement home.
Tomorrow is the FA Cup draw. Bath City fans and readers of my blog will know there was much success for City last season in the cup, including a victory over Grimsby. I love the cup and am hoping for more success this year. A nice easy draw would be nice to get started though. I see Harrow Borough, Hythe and Leiston are still in it. I haven’t heard of them, so they must be crap. One of them would do nicely. Either that, or The Metropolitan Police FC.
There was a plague of ladybirds in Bath today. I returned home from work to find almost 20 of the things had crawled in through an open window into my bedroom.
Tomorrow I will be hoping that blood does not pour from my bathroom taps, frogs do not fall from the sky and I do not grow boils all over my body.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
