On Friday night I watched Jaws. This is one of my favourite films of all time, but it’s been a few years since I’ve seen it. I watched the film with Simon and John and a few observations were made…

Chrissie – the girl who dies at the start – is a good advert against drunken, unprotected sex. You end up getting crabs (remember the remains on the beach).

The shark is obviously health conscious and watching his weight. While on the beach, with the choice of lots of fat old women to eat, he goes for one of the skinniest kids you’ve ever seen. Surprised there was so much blood. The boy’s parents looked far too old to be his real mother and father. Well done to Steven Spielberg for killing a child. You would never get that now in these days of political correctness.

After breaking the dock and causing the fisherman to fall into the water, Jaws could have easily caught the bloke if he wanted. He was probably full after eaten drunken teenagers and children.

The bloke on the boat who gets his leg chomped was probably a paedo. Just before getting killed, it takes a great deal of interest in the boys on the raft. Deserved to die.

Where was Quint from? We were trying to work out from his accent which sounded a cross between American, Irish and the Sea Captain from Family Guy.

Spielberg should end his career by making a movie based upon Quint’s (true) tale of the shark attacks at Indianapolis. Peter Jackson and James Cameron shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near it.