Posted by sean on April 29, 2019 at 10:57 pm in Work Activities with No Comments


What an utterly fabulous way to start a working week!

The departmental lift, which makes it possible to get to my desk, on the first floor, and do my job, broke down today.

To make matters worse, the lift decided it would pack up shop and stop working, after it had transported me to the first floor.

I was trapped. Held hostage in the IT department, by an infernal glass tank, whose sole purpose is to go up and down, up and down, up and down, all day. It had one job to do*, and it couldn’t even manage that.

* OK, two jobs. Going up AND going down.

As the day went on, with morning turning into afternoon, the lift remained out of order. I began to wonder if I would get home at all and would I have to pitch a tent for the night. A horrific thought, but if I could claim the camping trip as overtime or lieu, I would be laughing.

For a second, I did consider driving my mobility scooter down the stairs – like the car chase scene in The Italian Job. I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen the film – the original or the remake, so don’t know if this kind of reckless behaviour ends well. In real-life, those involved in the chase, would almost certainly receive a speeding fine in the post and 3 points on their licence – especially as most residential and inner-city areas, carry a 20mph limit.

I soon had a change of heart, deciding against performing the stair stunt. I’ll admit that becoming the love-child of Michael Caine and Brian Potter, is tempting – however, I would still be staying overnight at work, as a result.

Worse still, the stay wouldn’t be in my office. Instead, I would be renewing acquaintances with the nurses on the orthopaedic ward, where I stayed three months ago, after I broke my leg.  I wouldn’t even get any lieu time, and I’d need to buy a new mobility scooter.

Thankfully, it was a good end to the day. The lift was fixed, meaning there was no IT sleepover to be had and I didn’t have to risk life and limb (literally), by riding down the stairs.

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