There is a long-running job throughout football, regarding Newcastle United and the fact that they haven’t won a major trophy for over half a century – currently 65 years and counting.

TROPHY WINNING LEGENDS *

Well all the guffaws can stop right here, right  now. Newcastle’s long run without a major honour has come to an end…

This evening, they beat Rochdale 4-1 in the FA Cup. Before you congratulate them on their victory, you should be aware that the Magpies haven’t won the FA Cup. Tonight’s game was only the third round of that tinpot competition. Their prize is far greater than any cup, trophy or shield; for Newcastle United are now the proud holders of THE ROMAN CHALICE.

Eoghan O’Connell opened the scoring for the Chalice heroes. He will now forever go down in folklore as a Newcastle United legend and discussions are already underway to build a statue of O’Connell outside the club’s stadium, St James Park. The mayor of Newcastle has also promised him the key to the city.

Not bad, for the young Irishman, considering he doesn’t even play for Newcastle! Eoghan is technically a Rochdale player, but it was his own goal in the 17th minute that he believes inspired his beloved Magpies to lift the Chalice.

“I have always wanted to score for a Premiership team, you know.”, said O’Connell. “When I found out that Rochdale would be playing against the Toon Army, I knew this was my opportunity to put the name Eoghan O’Connell on the map”.

When asked about how he prepared for the fixture, O’Connell confirmed “I have been training since the draw was made. I was determined to give 110 percent and score for Newcastle.”

“At the end of the day, whether it came off my foot, head or backside, I didn’t care. Luckily, when my chance came along, I was in acres of space and was able to take it. I was as pleased as punch when I put the ball in the back of the net. Goals win games.”

Congratulations Newcastle United and Eoghan O’Connell **

An open top bus parade will take place tomorrow. Newcastle fans are encouraged to attend and get a glimpse of the Roman Chalice. It may be their only chance to see it, considering the club will probably lose to Chelsea at the weekend and relinquish the honour.

* right, before you all send me abuse, I am all too aware that this is not Newcastle United. It is the Welsh national football team. I don’t know the age of the photograph – I used Google image search – but am aware that it is a long time ago!

** and if you believe those quotes were actually from Eoghan O’Connell, you’re more gullible than those who voted for Brexit, thinking that the NHS would get £350 million if we left the EU.