Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 19/06/2016 at 9:18 pm in Animals, Have I Got News For You, Seagulls with No Comments


I read this story on the Bath Chronicle website.

A distraught pet owner believes her missing beloved blind pet rabbit was snatched by a seagull.

Nikki Coker believes Flump disappeared after someone – or something – broke into the hutch in her garden.

And she fears the little white bunny could have been carried off by a hungry seagull.

Worried Nikki thinks it is the third rabbit near her home in Redhill, Surrey, that has gone missing in the past week.

Nikki thinks her blind bunny could have been stolen by a burglar, but the way the hutch was broken into suggests that it could have been breached by a hungry bird.

She said: “I was taking some food out for him and he wasn’t there.

“The back gate was smashed open and all of the hutch doors were wide open.

“My house wasn’t broken into. It seems they just intentionally did it for the rabbit, which is quite strange.”

Nikki contacted the police to report the incident, but was told there was nothing officers can do.

She has also walked around looking for Flump, and printed posters.

The four-year-old rabbit is white and has quite distinctive “milky” eyes.

I love rabbits and it is very sad that one has probably died, but one part of the story doesn’t seem right.

The back gate was smashed open and all of the hutch doors were wide open.

Is it being suggested that a seagull smashed the back gate open, to get to a rabbit?

I can see why the Bath Chronicle reported this story (even though it didn’t happen in Bath). There are some parts of the country, where immigration is wrongly blamed for everything that goes wrong in the world. In Bath, all the locals blame seagulls for any trouble caused in the city.

Posted by sean on 23/11/2014 at 10:13 pm in Animals with No Comments


I have been watching the latest David Attenborough series, Life Story. Natural history programmes like this never cease to fascinate me. Animals, both large and small, are amazingly observed demonstrating natural behaviour I wouldn’t imagine would be possible.

The episode I watched today featured a group of crabs, of different sizes. The crabs had outgrown their shells and had to swap their living quarters, between themselves. Prior to the exchange, they would line up, in order of size, to ensure the trade takes place successfully. There was no crab solicitor in sight.

I generally believe that animals are more intelligent than some humans, which is disturbing and a little sad. If you don’t agree with my theory, watch any of Attenborough’s many masterpieces, followed by an episode of The Jeremy Kyle Show…

Is this hermit crab more intelligent than the man below?

Posted by sean on 26/08/2014 at 9:42 am in Animals with No Comments


There were trillions of slugs on the streets of Weston this morning. On the short walk to work, I made many observations on the slimy creatures.

Most of the slugs were dead, with their guts spawn across the pavement. The fatal injury was probably caused by a bird’s beak, but most likely, the foot of a person, not looking where they are going, while walking to work. It was a gruesome sight and reminded me of the Normany Beach scene from Saving Private Ryan.

My second observation was that slugs are cannibals. Surrounding most of the dead slugs, were other slugs, gorging on the bowels and organs of their dead and dying relatives.

Observation number three, is that in today’s society, where we are all part of the ‘Health and Safety Gone Mad Brigade’, these slugs are a real issue. A danger. If someone were to slip on one of these things, they could break their leg, or worse, die. You’ll get no sympathy, either. Imagine going to A&E, with a broken arm. They ask how you hurt yourself. “I slipped on a slug”. That’s even more pathetic than a banana skin. You would be laughed at.

My fourth and final observation is, unlike snails, you can’t even eat slugs. Somebody must have tried, which is pretty disgusting in all honesty.

Posted by sean on 16/05/2014 at 8:14 am in Animals with No Comments


You may have seen the video doing the rounds on the internet about a boy being attacked by a dog, only to be saved by some crazy cat. If you haven’t watched it yet, it’s here.

It looks liked this isn’t the only case of a mad cat. They seem pretty fucked up animals, which you wouldn’t want to mess with. Whoever came up with the theory that dogs chase cats was a liar – it’s an urban myth! Here’s the evidence….

Posted by sean on 02/05/2014 at 11:55 am in Animals, Work Activities with No Comments


I’m sure you’re all desperate for an update on the dead squirrel I saw yesterday, while on my travels… Breaking news: It has gone! There is no trace of it. No blood, no guts, no fur – nothing! This leaves me with the conclusion that the body has either been…

  • Eaten by something. Probably a fox or maybe a drunkard. Possibly a drunk fox.
  • Had a funeral and been buried or cremated
  • Stolen and turned into a takeaway by the curry house, which has recently opened down the road

If it is the latter option and you’re having a curry for your tea tonight – enjoy!

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

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