I came across this rather troubling story on the BBC website about a spider smuggler.
After some Googling, I found the offender’s online shop. My findings were even more disturbing than the news story itself. Apparently, you can order spiders and other creepy crawlies off the internet – they arrive in the post, courtesy of the Royal Mail!
Before any of you get any ideas, I will not be opening, or signing for, any unsuspected packages in the post – especially those marked ‘FRAGILE’. Any boxes that arrive at my flat will be treated as a terrorist attack, giving me no choice but to call the bomb disposal unit.
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- Asking The Questions That Matter
In his role as a politician and Prime Minister, I despise Boris.
However, even I felt (almost) sorry for him, when this old git approaches and starts to discuss dog poo in a pub carpark.
I am yet to be totally convinced that this isn't a clever comic sketch, involving Matt Lucas playing the role of BoJo...
- That’s One Expensive Party
Where were these fines during the Bath Rave?
...
- Bridge Broken
The BBC reported this news as...
Tower Bridge was stuck open for more than an hour, leaving hundreds of people and vehicles stranded in central London.
It's stories like this which amuse the bad, mischievous side of my psyche.
I know it's wrong to find this even the slightest bit funny, and for those involved, it must be...
- 49% Of People Are *****
In case anyone was ever wondering why I own this top, it's because animals are nicer than humans...
... well at least 49% of humans.
It should be pointed out that not everyone from the 49% is the sharpest tool in the box...
Firstly, what name are the initials TH short for? Thick Head?
Secondly, when Mr. Head updated...
- It’s Like A Peter Kay Sketch
...
goatman-g
November 15, 2009 - 10:03 pmApparently horse-chestnuts or 'conkers' to the common man, are a good spider deterant. Better than running around with a flame thrower looking like a rabid Jon Goodman.
Sean
November 15, 2009 - 10:10 pmWhat do you do with the conkers? Hit the spiders with them?
Adam
November 16, 2009 - 9:35 amI don't think conkers will do much in this case. Just a description from the website about one of the spiders…
"Selenocosmia are however in a league of their own and are 6 inches of pure evil. Not only are they fearlessly aggressive but also exceptionally fast so only suitable for experienced keepers. If provoked not only will they bite, they will shoot across your floor, steal your TV and beat up your cat before disappearing."
goatman-g
November 16, 2009 - 7:35 pmApparently the very presence reminds them of death. Failing that yes, you might as well stone them.