I had a power cut today. I’m pointing the finger of blame at Storm Hannah. Bitch.

Losing electricity is always a shocking and distressing experience. It’s up there with your water being cut off, or a sudden disappearances of all oxygen and air.

Imagine if I had been blogging at the time of the thoughtless power interruption. What would have happened? Nothing, actually. I blog from either my mobile, tablet or laptop – all of which run on batteries.

OK, imagine if I was blogging from a desktop PC. A desktop PC, which is NOT attached to a UPS. The power is cut. What would have happened? Not much. I would be typing into Microsoft Word or direct into WordPress, both have excellent autosave features.

Right… picture this. I’m blogging on an Amstrad 8512. There is absolutely no autosave facility or uninterrupted power supply. There is also no internet connection – a basic requirement, to update one’s blog – but let’s forget about that small, immaterial factor…

It’s 1985. I am blogging on my monochrome, green text, £600+ Alan Sugar baby. The power is cut. What would happen? I’ll show you…

GREAT WIN FOR LEEDS TODAY. WE BEAT OXFORD 1-0. PRETTY ANNOYED WE’RE NOT GETTING PROMOTED THOUGH. WE NEVER WIN ANYTHING. APPARENTLY THERE IS A NEW FILM COMING OUT THIS SUMMER. IT’S ABOUT TIME TRAVEL AND IS CALLED BACK TO THE FUTURE. I WISH I COULD TRAVEL TO THE YEAR 2019. I BET LEEDS WOULD BE AMAZING THEN. THE AWFUL TORY GOVERNMENT WILL BE A THING OF THE PAST TOO! THE COLD WAR WILL BE OVER AND THE RUSSIANS WILL BE OUR FRIENDS AND FULLY TRUST-WORTHY.

I THINK I’VE TAKEN TO THIS NEW COMPUTER VERY WELL. CONSIDERING I AM JUST 3 YEARS OLD, I CAN OPERATE IT BETTER THAN I CAN MY POTTY!

MY FRIEND BEN HAD A POWER CUT EARLIER. HE WAS PLAYING ON HIS PLAYSTATION 4 PRO AT THE TIME. I DON’T THINK I’LL BOTHER WITH A PLAYSTATION 4 – THERE’S NO CHANCR IT’LL BE BETTER THAN MY HANDHELD COPY OF MRS PACMAN.

I’M SO GLAD THE POWER CUT DIDN’T HIT MY HOUSE. THAT WOULD HAVE CAUSED NO END OF PROBL_________________

**** DISKETTE FAILURE ****

**** NO POWER FOUND. ****

ACTUALLY, HOW AM I, AN AMSTRAD 8512, MANAGING TO DISPLAY THIS ERROR, WITHOUT ELECTRICITY? I KNOW ALAN SUGAR MADE ME, BUT I’M NO SUPER COMPUTER. GHOSTS? MAYBE.

I’M TURNING MYSELF OFF NOW, WITHOUT SAVING YOUR WORK. IN FACT, I’M GOING TO CORRUPT THE INTERNAL HARD DRIVE – YES, ALL 512 KILOBYTES OF IT!

TURNING OFF IN 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

See, the my 3-year-old self, from 1985, would be screwed! Alan Sugar – you’re fired!