Posted by sean on January 29, 2020 at 11:48 pm in Internet with No Comments


If you have read a news story or article online recently, chances are that the website had a fairly large number of adverts – unless you were on BBC.co.uk.

Like most normal people, you will have ignored the advertisements. At worst you may have cursed them for being too intrusive. You certainly wouldn’t have clicked on them or even remembered the nature of the spam.

I don’t like or pay attention to site spam either, but will admit to noticing a familiar trend with one set adverts.

A peculiar looking man, most likely in his seventies, frequently appears when I am attempting to read about the latest stupid thing Donald Trump has said, or which Premier League football player has impregnated which member of the Geordie Shore cast. Don’t be alarmed, I would never choose to read about the latter, so please don’t lose respect for me!

Back to the odd-looking pensioner. Do you recognise this man?

No?

What about if we gave him a bit of paper (to me, resembling a medical prescription) to hold?

Surely you recognise the chap now? Even with the hand, which almost certainly isn’t his own.

If he still appears unfamiliar, have a browse through the Independent website. He frequently appears in the footer of pages there.

Here he is again. By the looks of things, this time in London.

He is accompanied by headlines like ‘UK Seniors Over 50 Are Rushing To Claim This New Benefit’.

I must admit to finding the headline amusing. Many of my relatives, including parents, are older than fifty and would probably not appreciate being referred to as ‘senior’.

I can only laugh so much at that, though. In little over twelve years, according to the advertisers, I’ll be considered senior too.

You never know, like the strange old man, I could be all over the internet in 2032. My presence alone could ruin your online experience, with cheap and tacky content, on every website you visit. At the moment, you only get that when you read my blog!

You will probably be unsurprised to know, that I didn’t click on the original advertisement. There is one obvious reason for this. I’m not over fifty.

I am sure the advert is genuine and our wonderful Tory government have introduced a great new benefit, guaranteed to make everyone born before 1970 richer. Especially poor, vulnerable or disabled seniors – they’ll get ten times as much.

It’s not just benefits this old man is advertising. He must be in a great mood! According to another headline he has lent his face to, ‘People Born 1948-1979 With No Life Insurance Are Celebrating’.

Celebrating what? Being old? Being irresponsible to their loved ones? I am disappointed. Being born in 1982, I only just miss out on that one. Plus, I took out life insurance when I bought my house. No champagne for me. Booo!

You’ll be very relieved to read that I have almost finished this somewhat strange blog post.

Before I wrap it up, I need to report my concerns. While on some website the other day, I saw this…

It’s a new old man! Coincidentally, in the same spot of London as the previous gentleman and coincidentally, also celebrating his unwise decision, to avoid taking out any form of life insurance.

Mind you, looking at this one, I would say he was born before 1948. Either that, or he’s a 26 year old from Middlesbrough, who has had a very hard life.

What’s more worrying, is that I haven’t seen the original man advertising anything for a few weeks. I hope that nothing bad has happened to him, leading to the even older, flat cap wearing pensioner taking his job.

If something truly horrible has happened, I can only pray that he had life insurance. If not, his wife will be anything but celebrating!

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