Posted by sean on April 30, 2020 at 11:09 am in Me Vs. The World with No Comments


I received an email a few days ago, informing me that my car was inappropriately parked and was at risk of being towed away…

There are a few things in this email which have made me question its authenticity, or if it was even intended for me.

Firstly, the most obvious clue… The name is wrong. You should know this because you are on SeansStories.com and not StevensStories.com – whereas I know it is not me because Steven Kitson is not my name.

Secondly, the location in which the car is parked is somewhere in America. As far as I am aware, I have never left Europe in my lifetime. I do remember an episode of The Simpsons, where Barney drives Homer’s car all the way to New York, only to park it illegally. I think he forgets.

It is therefore entirely possible that I somehow got a plane to the U S of A, acquired a SUV, went for a drive, dumped it somewhere, before returning home to England. However, given the fact I can’t even get myself into the shower at the moment, I think the idea of me catching a plane halfway around the world, is a little far-fetched.

To help solve the crime, I thought that I would carry out some investigations – after all, it would be nice to know exactly what I’m being accused of – or what Steven has done.

A business address was included in the email. I took this address and entered it into Google Maps.

This is what I found…

A pretty nice looking location. No wonder they don’t want any Tom, Dick or Harry dumping cars in their car park.

I did get a bit excited when I saw the white car. Especially with a woman getting in or out. There was the culprit! Sadly, although the vehicle on Google Maps is white – as is the one I allegedly dumped – it is not a Kia SUV. Oh, and yes, I did have to search Google Images to be sure!

This building and very attractive lake is directly opposite the car park on the previous screenshot. The entire place looks so calm and clean. There has to be a disadvantage of living here – the locals are probably all Trump supporters.

The main road (or is it the highway?) also looks like the place you could easily get mowed down by a truck. Try getting blood and bits of brain out of tarmac…

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