Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 09/10/2011 at 10:03 pm in Fish with 1 Comment


It is a sad day in Château de Sean. I lost one of my pet fish. When I say I lost it, I didn’t lose it like a friend of mine did to his fish when we were in school. That fish jumped out the bowl, fell behind the cabinet and was missing for days. No, I lost my fish in the same sense that the music world lost Michael Jackson. OK, bad example, the fish didn’t die of an overdose. What I am trying to say, through much sadness, is my fish is dead. He will no longer be sleeping with the fishes.

What’s more, I think it was one of the original fish I bought back in 2006 and not one of the replacements which followed in more recent years. This fish was purchased during the 2006 World Cup. I seem to remember I originally bought five and named them all after members of the England squad. One died on the first day. Probably crocked all along. Serves me right for calling him Michael Owen.

In all fairness, today’s death came as no surprise. This fish had been ill for sometime. It’s was lying on its back for weeks. The fact it kept going for so long, lead me to believe it was just being lazy, which is strange as I don’t remember naming any of the fish after Dimitar Berbatov. Anyway, turns out it must have been dying, which is sad. Still, I did all I could for it and gave it a proper burial *flush*

I should probably stop blogging now and go to bed. A full week of work lies in wait for me tomorrow and I am tired. I always seem to get more tired during the autumn. Sometimes I wish I was a bear or a squirrel – that way I could hibernate. I’ve seen the nature shows, I know how it’s done. All I would need to do is live off McDonalds throughout the whole of the summer, gaining 10 stone and enough fat to see me through the harsh winter. Then just go to bed and sleep until April, awaking to the news that Bath City have won The Conference. I think that may be something to try next year. I’ll ask my boss if I can be given the time off work.

Posted by sean on 17/01/2011 at 10:25 pm in Fish with No Comments


An update on my fish for tonight’s blog. The goldfish I bought two weeks ago are doing well. I was originally worried about their well-being as it appeared they were not eating, or rather were being denied food by the other fish in their tanks. As they are not dead and have been spotted shitting, I can only assume that they are eating and are going to be OK – hurrah!

Posted by sean on 11/01/2011 at 10:33 pm in Fish with 1 Comment


During my last day of annual leave, I went shopping in town. The sales were very disappointing, so I bought very little. The most interesting purchase that day was from the pet shop, where I acquired two goldfish to accompany the Danios currently in the tank.

I wanted to get one large goldfish, but was advised against it by the lady in the shop as they apparently bully the other fish. I am not sure what this involves – probably name calling and stealing of dinner money.

On reflection, I think it would have been better to ignore the advice of the shop assistant and buy a shark. The two fish I did buy are extremely timid and despite being larger than the Danio’s they tank share with, are always hiding.

When feeding time commences – just before I go to bed, so within minutes of writing this blog – the Danios gorge themselves on the delicious fish flakes I drop into the water. The goldfish are too scared to swim to the top and eat. How long this will go on, I don’t know. But if the problem persists, the two hiding goldfish may become two floating goldfish.

Feeding time would have been more fun with a bigger fish

Posted by sean on 05/12/2010 at 5:07 pm in Fish, Fun At Home, Leeds United, Video Games, Weather with No Comments


Frosty the Snowman decided to piss ice and snow all over the country last week. Bath City were supposed to be playing Kettering on Saturday. Kettering does unfortunately not share the temperatures of Qatar, so as with most fixtures across England, the match was postponed due to the cold weather. Therefore, it was a Saturday spent indoors.

Amazon delivered Donkey Kong Country for the Wii, which I spent a lot of the afternoon playing. I bought the original DKC back in 1995 for the SNES. It was one of my favourite games as a child and a title I probably played more than was healthy for any human. I was therefore a little dubious about the re-release for the Wii and if Nintendo would do the classic title justice. I am pleased to say that they have. Like the original, it has beautiful graphics and is full of charm. It is also frightfully addictive – just like the 1995 release. While I love this game, it is maddening at times. Trying to make the stupid ape jump from platform to platform and avoid enemies is enough to drive even the most placid of people insane with rage. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t shouted any profanities at the TV during the last 24 hours.


I didn’t spend the whole Saturday playing video games. I had work to do as well – mainly cleaning out the fish tank. The confused fish which swims upside down is still alive and healthy… well, if you can call swimming the wrong way round ‘healthy’. Luckily, none of its friends have copied its strange behaviour. While cleaning fish shit out of the gravel and pump, I listened to Leeds United game over the internet. Despite having fish faeces on my hands, I was very happy. No, I’m not a fecalpheliac, I had simply heard Luciano Becchio score two late goals in as many minutes.

This is where I put the contents of the fish tank pump. For sale on eBay later today.

Later that evening John and Simon came round. We were going to play the SNES, but after eating our meal of pie and curly fries, we decided to play Bath Monopoly. A rather crafty plan on Simon and my part, as it allowed us to watch Match of the Day at the same time. I dominated the game, but was rather disappointed I wasn’t able to buy Twerton Park. John, the man who hates football more than anyone in the entire world, bought it and refused to sell it to me for anything less than £100,000. I was also saddened by the fact that despite owning Bath Rugby, I did not have the complete set, so could therefore not develop any properties. It is my dream to one day own The Rec and build a massive hotel on top of it!


The snow and ice has now gone. About 48 hours too late! It would have been nice if it was this warm on Saturday – I might have got to go to Kettering. Never mind, I had a fun time playing Donkey Kong, listening to Leeds and cleaning fish pooh.

Posted by sean on 24/11/2010 at 11:02 pm in Fish with No Comments


One of my fish isn’t very well. I have had it over four years now and in its old age, it is starting to swim upside down. When I first saw this peculiar behaviour, I did expect to come downstairs the next morning to see it had stopped swimming altogether and find it floating on the water’s surface; but a week has passed and it is still acting strange and weirdly enough, eating, chasing other fish and generally doing what fish do… forgetting things, pretending to be Jaws and counting it’s fingers.

I did some research on the internet into what causes fish to swim upside down and found out that that it may be constipated. I did think of emptying a box of All-Bran into the tank, but thought better of it. Apparently, to cure fish constipation, I need to starve the fish for 48 hours and then feed it a pea. I had to read the instructions carefully and check it definitely did not say ‘feed the fish pee’ – I did think urinating into the water was not a sensible idea. Yes, I need to give it the inside of a green pea from the freezer – freshly packed by Captain Birdseye himself.

As there are other fish in the tank, asking the poorly fish not to eat for two days, while its friends gorge on delicious flakes, may be a little tricky, but I’ll see what I can do.

The sad and rather worrying news I read on Yahoo Answers (the hub of all knowledge) is that if the fish is not constipated it is probably not long for this world and will be dead soon.

I bought all my fish during the 2006 World Cup and named them after members of the England squad. Unfortunately, as they all look the same, I can’t remember which one is which, but giving its recent ailments and poor health, I think it would be rather fitting if the fish is the one I named Michael Owen.

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

  • Archives

  • TWITTER