Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on 11/12/2017 at 5:38 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


Saturday night. We arrived home from football, freezing cold, having endured a 0-0 draw against Bognor Regis Town. We were greeted by what looked like a scene from The Bill – police and dogs everywhere. A neighbour told us how a man was wrestled to the floor by an officer, less than an hour earlier. A door mat and step outside our house had been disturbed, and the back gate unlocked! By this point, I was getting more than a little worried. What the hell had happened?

After carrying out a lot of checks on our house, it was clear that we had not been burgled, nor had anyone even attempted to break into our house. Whatever crime had taken place was unrelated to our home, and we just assumed our garden was involved in some kind of a chase between the police and criminals. Despite this, we still went to bed a little nervous.

The next morning, a police officer called round to ask if we had seen anything the previous evening. We gave our account and I keenly asked what had happened. Without giving too much away, we were told that the incident was not a risk to homes on our street, the criminals were locked up and not even from this area. We can now rest at night. Just…

Posted by sean on 21/07/2017 at 5:21 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


Following my trip to the dentist the other day, I decided to invest in a tool which will hopefully reduce further trips. I hate flossing. My dentist tells me to floss. I therefore probably should floss.

I have now found an alternative. A device you fill with water, which is then jetted into your mouth at such a force, it cleans your teeth – and I mean cleans. Any stronger and the force would rip the teeth from your skull.

The tool took a bit of getting used to. After filling the reservoir with water and turning the device on, water shot into the air, covering the walls, the floor and me. NOTE TO SELF – ONLY TURN ON WHEN IN MOUTH.

My second attempt wasn’t much better. The water came out in my mouth this time, but I didn’t plan on where it would go. Cue my mouth filling with water, before I am forced to spit it into the air, covering the walls, the floor and me. NOTE TO SELF – SPIT WATER OUT.

It was third time lucky. The water flowed into my mouth. I ensured I was over a sink, so excess water could flow out and down the plughole. Success.

The new bit of kit did an amazing job, and my teeth have never felt cleaner. What was left in the sink was incredible – blood and all kinds of food particles sat in the basin. I am sure I spotted part of my school dinners from twenty years ago, sitting in the bathroom sink. I am very impressed.

Posted by sean on 17/06/2017 at 7:07 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


I received this in the post today from Amazon…

Given the size of the box, what would you expect to find in it? A games console? A small television? A pile of bricks?

No. In this massive cardboard box, there was this… a packet of small water funnels.

Posted by sean on 19/04/2017 at 11:02 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


Nine years ago today, I asked my now wife, Claire, to be my girlfriend. I must have made a good impression in taking her to The Boathouse pub for a meal, because she said yes. Just over four years later, we became engaged, and in 2015, got married.

Nine years on, we are both very happy and in love. We have a house together and our relationship is still going strong.

Posted by sean on 18/04/2017 at 1:26 pm in Curry, Fun At Home with No Comments


We decided to go all posh last week, and buy our online shop from Ocado. Tesco had really annoyed me, by not only delivering me mouldy oranges one week, but by sending me further putrid fruit the following order!

Ocado source a lot of their food from Waitrose, which is very expensive. I needed to buy a couple of ready meals, which were of good quality, but not stupidly priced. I found some, which were 2 for £6. Not cheap, but considering some of the other ‘deals’ were priced at over £10, I had little choice.

While unpacking the shopping, Claire asked why I had bought gluten and dairy free food. I have no allergies and will generally eat anything, besides fish. It turns out the nice looking ready meals I had bought were for people with special dietary requirements.

Last night, I ate a Thai Green Curry. The last time I had one of these, it was nice and creamy. How could they make a cream curry with no milk? The curry was horrible, and the vast majority of it went in the bin. I’ve got a chicken tikka masala tonight – again, dairy free. I don’t have high hopes.

Sean's Stories

On this website, you’ll find me blogging (almost) daily about everyday life, living in Bath, working with computers, and the occasional bit of football stuff thrown in.

If you're expecting The Man Booker Prize, you've come to the wrong place. If you want to read a collection of sometimes eccentric, often disturbing and rarely amusing ramblings, gorge your eyes on this.

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