It’s Cheltenham Festival week – a time where millions of people across the globe go horse-mad, despite avoiding the sport for the other 51 weeks of the year. It’s just like those who watch Wimbledon, yet in reality hate tennis. Jumping on the bandwagon.
I am not one of those people who went horse-mad. I am no expert in that (horse) field. I have no idea how to even place a bet on racing – or should that be “I have neigh idea”. Apologies.
My wife, Claire, enjoys the racing and in the past has been to Bath Races, so does not fall into the group of ‘bandwagon-jumpers’, mentioned above.
Being a racing fan, Claire enjoyed watching the television coverage, throughout the week.
As we generally spend our homelife together, I was able to watch many of the races with Claire.
It was the penultimate race of the entire festival, this afternoon, that I became generally excited about a horse race, for the first time ever.
No, I hadn’t put money on the outcome – I don’t know how, remember. In fact, it was only towards the end of the race that I took any real interest.
My attention was originally caught, when a poor horse fell. Tragically, it later died.
While watching the race, we noticed a horse running alongside all the others, despite not having a jockey on its back. Presumably the jockey had fallen off, somewhere along the way.
As the horses (and remaining jockeys) got closer and closer to the finish line, the horse who had lost its jockey, got closer and closer to the front of the pack.
Claire and I started to get excited…
Due to a rule which I strongly oppose, the jockeyless horse was not declared the winner. Apparently, the horse AND the jockey have to both cross the finish line.
At least give the horse some recognition! It won’t want a large financial prize – it’s financially stable! Financially stable! Stable! Get it? I give up. No, the winning horse would be happy enough with a tube of Polos and a carrot!
The horse which, in my eyes won, is ironically named Time Waits For No One. I am therefore delighted to award him (or her) the SEAN’S STORIES F-HAY CUP.
As well as a cup, TWFNO will be awarded a carrot, from the Asda vegetable aisle. However, as Cheltenham is a long way from Bath, I am sure everyone will agree that the best thing to do, is to give the carrot to our pet rabbit, Roman.
Is it me, or do these MPs just sit around voting all day?
The fact they keep having vote after vote, shows that the MPs cannot organise a vote, or indeed ANYTHING, properly.
To resolve this problem, get this Brexit mess sorted, save the country billions and allow the MPs to do a proper days work since getting elected; I propose that Frank Pickle – of Dibley, Oxfordshire – organises and chairs all necessary parliamentary meetings and organises votes.
“All those in favour?”
March 12th.
It was a very special birthday yesterday…
In my last blog post, I congratulated the Internet on reaching the grand old age of 30.
Despite being the backbone behind the World Wide Web, email and E-commerce; the Internet shares it’s birthday with someone even more important…
Happy Birthday to Roman the Rabbit!
Only joking! The important birthday boy in the photo is me. Roman’s birthday was last month.
I won’t say on this post how old I am, but I have mentioned this birthday on many recent blog entries. Therefore, if you don’t known and want to find out, I guess you’ll have to trawl back through some past blogs! Trust me – you won’t have to look far!
When you need so many candles for your birthday cake, that the shop sells out!
I was very spoilt by my family – receiving many lovely pressies and cards. I was given far too many gifts to list here, although I will show you a card I was given by Roman.
I always knew ‘Rome’ was a bunny of many talents, but designing, ordering, buying and writing a card surpasses everything impressive he has done previously!
Thank you go everyone who bought me presents, wrote me cards and made the effort to send me good wishes on social media.
I feel that I must also thank my two football clubs, for giving me 3 points each, by both winning last night.
Leeds, whose game against Reading was (luckily for me) on Sky, played superb. Considering I normally hate watching Leeds play, due to my nerves being shot to shreds, I really enjoyed the match. Therefore, thank you Leeds for not playing shit and allowing me to have a birthday, free from panic attacks, or mild mental breakdowns.
March 12th.
It was a very special birthday yesterday…
You may already be aware of who it was for – if not, perhaps you noticed the rather jazzy Google logo?
The image on the Google website was all singing and dancing. This image is not. Being a tax payer, one can’t afford to use Animated GIFs – plus they’re so 1998.
In case you still don’t know what the hell I am on about, the Internet turned 30 yesterday… although there are many who still question the correct date – just like they do the moon landing, if Planet Earth is flat and whether or not the Cigarette Smoking Man (from X Files) is dead. Basically, people with too much time on their hands and no girlfriend.
I very much hope that you will all take a quick break from reading my blog, to sing “Happy birthday”, followed by “For he’s a jolly good fellow *” to the Internet. After all, without it, there would be no Sean’s Stories; trolls would be a make-believe creature, that lives under a bridge; and we would still be allowing Gary Glitter to babysit our kids.
* Is the Internet a “he”? I’m sure there couldn’t have been all this gender fuss in 1989. All I cared about back then was Lego, catching snails from the garden and baking rock cakes. Mind you, I was 7.
Remember these? It’s a Compact Disc (kids – ask your grandparents). You got them free in absolutely every magazine from PC Pro to Horse and Hound to Gordon the Gopher Weekly.
You could also pick the CDs up (again, for nowt) from shops like HMV. This could result in hilarious scenarios, where you would scare your parents (or any other older relative, shopping with you), into believing you had taken up shoplifting; after witnessing their blue-eyed boy picking up a CD from the shelf and walking out of the shop, without paying.
Besides tricking parents into thinking they had raised a child destined for The Jeremy Kyle Show – or, given the fact this would have been over 15 years ago, Trisha and Kilroy – the CDs had many other great uses…
- A surprisingly effective frisbee.
- Tricking the gullible that the CD contained the entire internet.
- A mirror – useful for putting on lipstick, combing your hair and sticking contact lenses into your eyes.
- Nicking 50 of the things and sticking them to your bedroom wall. After seeing something similar on Changing Rooms and thinking it would be cool, you soon realised it looked shit.
- Trying to write data to them, using a CD Writer. You knew it wouldn’t work, but as blank CDs cost £2 in 1999, it was worth trying. It didn’t work.
- Believe it or not, the CDs could even help connect you to the Internet! Although the photo above is a Freeserve CD, and if my memory serves me right, Freeserve was crap.
I can’t think of any other special birthdays yesterday…
Oh wait! How stupid of me. Former Leeds United flop, Seth Johnson, turned 90. Sorry, I meant 40. I got confused, as during his time at Leeds, he had all the speed, physique and bone strength of an OAP. Yes, I’m a fine one to talk, but I don’t claim to be a professional footballer.
There was another birthday too.
Don’t get confused. This isn’t a match report. Leeds and Bristol City have already played each other twice this season – Leeds won both of them.
The word “versus” in the title of this blog involves the Leeds and Bristol City owners and is meant in more of a Mortal Kombat manner, as opposed to anything football-related.
OK, it was more like this…
It all started in January, when all that spying stuff was taking place.
Bristol City’s owner, Steve Lansdown, was asked by the BBC for his thoughts on the matter. After all, why not consult the owner of a football club that has no rivalry with Leeds and absolutely nothing to do with the spying nonsense. Anyway, this was said…
The only thing that makes sense if I’m honest is a points deduction.
They ought to seriously consider it but I don’t think that will happen as I don’t think the EFL will be strong enough to do something like that.
A fine would go someway towards showing it’s not acceptable. Whatever happens we mustn’t condone it.
All I will say is it’s a shame that we cannot all be as morally rich as Mr Lansdown, who currently lives outside the UK in a tax avoidance scheme.
Leeds United’s owner, Andrea Radrizzani, became involved today – following yesterday’s win over Bristol City.
Mr Radrizzani took to Twitter, following a tweet by a Leeds fan, regarding the rather overzealous behaviour of Saturday’s match day stewards…
Regardless of whether sitting peacefully with a young child, alongside rival football supporters, is against the rules or not, there is always room for diplomacy and common sense. Sadly for those poor Leeds fans, it sounds like the stewards lacked any of this.
This is where Leeds United’s owner waded in and attempted to show Steveo his virtual middle finger…
It’s all gone quiet so far. I’ll await Steve Lansdown’s response with keen anticipation – although I may have to wait until tomorrow, as I’m not sure if there is a time difference between mainland UK and Guernsey.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
