Posted by sean on December 9, 2008 at 7:10 pm in Non League with No Comments


Braintree (the team who Bath City played at the weekend) need new football manager. They are advertising for the new gaffer on their website. Yes, you read it right – on their website!

Therefore, I thought I would apply for the job. I quite fancy a change in career from IT support to football management.

To protect my application from the tabloids, I gave a fake name. Everything else on my application is the truth.

I will let you know if I get a reply…

Dear Mr. Harding,

I am writing to apply for the position of Braintree Town Football Club manager.

I have a vast range football knowledge and experience as a player, manager and a fan.

On Saturday 6th December, I attended Cressing Road to witness Braintree’s 4-0 defeat to Bath City. Although the defeat was heavy and the performance poor, I feel I can bring a lot to the team and turn 4-0 losses into 4-0 wins.

Across my career, I have worked alongside many well known-clubs, including Hereford United, Yeovil Town, Leeds United, Arsenal and Barcelona.

Honours I have won as a player and manager include European championships, The Premier League, Coca Cola Championship, League One and Two titles – experience I can put to great use in the Blue Square South.

I watch live football every week and have been a Sky Sports subscriber for many years. I have also met Ian Holloway in Asda.

I feel my love for the game, along with achievements on Fifa Soccer, put me in perfect stead to make the step up from video game management to real life management.

I will be unavailable for interview on 13th, 16th and 20th of December due to other footballing commitments.

Please keep this e-mail confidential. I would not like the news of my appointment to be broken by Jeff Stelling before it is official.

I look forward to your reply.

Alex Keegan

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