If you want an England football shirt ahead of the World Cup, it has been well documented that you can expect to pay up to £90. Most people in this country have common sense and don’t wipe their behinds with fifty pound notes, so won’t be buying the new shirt.
So what alternatives are there if you want to show your allegiance to your national side this summer? I have it on good merit that Dangerous Dave is selling knock-offs for a tenner at Twerton Market every Thursday. Where do they come from? Ask him no questions, he’ll tell you no lies.
If you want to buy something more legitimate, without lining the pockets of the greedy English Football Association, do what I have done. Buy a retro shirt. This was £25 and available from all good sports retailers and some bad ones.

This is an England shirt from the 1990 World Cup. It is only a replica and not match-worn, so you don’t have to worry about it being soiled by Gazza’s tears or Gary Lineker’s excrement.
I know that by buying this shirt The FA will get less money. Poor them. No doubt the top directors, on their miniscule salaries will only be able to afford three private yachts. Worse still, they may have to sell their private villas in Tuscany. I feel kind of bad now.
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